VSBfromH

Spoof

The thoroughness of your research is astounding! Have you ever thought of applying for a job on the "Daily Star"? "Our early editions carried a news story that Osama Bin Laden has been found dead. We would like to make a minor correction. It was apparently someone's cat"

Can I assure you all that when I compiled my 20 picks yesterday afternoon (albeit a bit late, but I'm only doing it for fun), I was in no way cheating with his inclusion! Just looked on a list I'd compiled a couple of years ago and thought "he's getting on a bit!"

Any Boro fans amongst us? I see their former striker, Colombian Hamilton Ricard, was sent off last night playing for Danubio of Uruguay in the Copa Libertadores: http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id...798&cc=5739 This comes just a week after he was given a 3 year jail sentence (pending an appeal) for causing the death of a pedestrian in a car accident in 2002: http://football.guardian.co.uk/News_Story/0,,1998125,00.html Not a great week for him then!

Emma Tillman "was one of 23 children. Four of her sisters lived up to more than 100 years" (quoted by a number of sources) Pretty impressive stats!

Short story writer Daniel Stern has died aged 79 Not only did he win many prestigious awards for his stories, he also: - Played cello with Charlie Parker - Played cello with the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra* - Was a vice president of Warner Brothers Studios, CBS and McCann Erickson - Was a Professor at the University of Houston Sheesh! No wonder he wrote short stories! * It bugs me that our American friends would just say "the Indianapolis Symphony". Maybe a candidate for Room 101?

In the version I heard, the "office" was Man Utd's training ground, the blonde was David Beckham, the "husband" was Posh Spice, the "female boss" was Sir Alex Ferguson and the brunette and the redhead were (I think) Dwight Yorke and Teddy Sheringham, which dates the joke somewhat! I'm sure there are older versions still...

Apparently the "Committee on Standards in Public Life" established 7 "Principles of Public Life" which people in public life (e.g. MPs, Civil Servants, and members of Quangos and NHS bodies) should adhere to: Accountability, Selflessness, Honesty, Objectivity, Leadership, Integrity and Opennsess. Easily remembered by the acronym: "ASHOLIO"

According to the Independent Catholic News, Lord Nolan has died aged 78. He came to prominence as chairman of the Committee on Standards in Public Life in th 1990s (remember "the Nolan Report"?)

Couldn't find a suitable thread for this one: http://edition.cnn.com/2007/SPORT/01/22/ski.mazoch/ "Czech ski jumper Jan Mazoch was in a serious but stable condition on Monday after his horrific fall during a World Cup event in the southern Polish resort of Zakopane" Apparently he didn't realise you're not supposed to land on your head. You can see the footage courtesy of Youtube:

"Maria Cioncan, the Romanian runner who took 1500m bronze behind Kelly Holmes at the 2004 Olympics, has been killed in a car accident in Bulgaria" BBC Link has her crashing into a tree returning from a training camp in Greece. The Grauniad has the training camp down as being in Turkey. Greece, Turkey, same place, innit?

People who aren't doctors (i.e. physicians) who insist on being called "Doctor" because they've got some degree. We used to have a guy in the office who, if some poor sod rang up and referred to him as "Mister" would immediately jump down their throat and say "it's DOCTOR actually!" Then you get people listing themselevs as "Dr. whatever" on Sad Gits Reunited (OK, I admit I'm a member myself!). Were you a f***kin doctor at primary school then, you arsey tw*t?! And yes I know they'll tell you "the original meaning of "doctor" is from the Latin meaning "teacher" and therefore more appropriate to someone with a degree..." but I don't bleedin care!

"Gregory the chimpanzee, known for asking visitors for a drag of their cigarettes and his dramatic rescue by helicopter from Congo Republic's civil war, has died aged 62" Gregory the smoking chimp

I'll see your TV drama and raise you a Hollywood blockbuster starring Johnny Depp: http://www.pr-inside.com/johnny-depp-is-se...play-r40196.htm

Not quite appropriate for this thread, but didn't want to start a new one. Lisbon man leaves entire estate to 70 people chosen at random from the phone book: http://www.shortnews.com/shownews.cfm?id=5...FTOKEN=45519868 "The estate, which is yet to be divided up, includes 25,000 euros, a 12-room flat in central Lisbon, another house in a historic town, and a car"

Apparently such events are known (in reference to the prize) as "Hold your wee for a Wii" contests. How puerile!

Message posted on header page of http://www.bdodarts.com/ : SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT IT HAS COME TO OUR ATTENTION THAT SOME SUCCESSFUL APPLICANTS FOR TICKETS TO THE LAKESIDE WORLD DARTS 2007 ARE SELLING THEIR TICKETS FOR EXHORBITANT PRICES ON INTERNET AUCTION SITES. LAKESIDE WISHES IT TO BE KNOWN THAT WHILST WE FROWN UPON THIS PRACTICE, WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE DISPOSAL OF THESE TICKETS ONCE SOLD IN ACCORDANCE WITH OUR RULES AS STATED ON OUR BOOKING APPLICATION FORMS. WE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO TRACE SOME OF THESE SELLERS AND HAVE NOTED THEIR NAMES AND INFORMED THEM THAT THEY WILL BE REFUSED TICKETS NEXT YEAR. BEWARE OF FORGERIES!!! OOh! What have you been up to ie+?!

Gloria Connors, former tennis pro and mother / coach of Jimmy, has died aged 82: http://www.teluguportal.net/modules/news/a...p?storyid=27893

12 year old Turkish boy dies after 'Saddam copy-cat' hanging: http://icwales.icnetwork.co.uk/0100news/07...-name_page.html

OK, CP, I take your point! Hopefully I'm on safe ground with this one: Iwao Takamoto animator who "designed and named the beloved Great Dane Scooby-Doo and many other cartoon characters" has died aged 81

Keep up DWB!: Momofuku Ando

Just been watching an episode of "Diagnosis Murder". Not only did we have Dick Van Dyke (81), but also guest stars Patrick MacNee (84), Robert Vaughn (74), Robert Culp (76) and Barbara Bain (75). Quite an array of possibilities talent there!

Momofuku Ando The man credited with inventing "pot noodles" has died aged 96.

Ken Cranston (20.10.17) takes the mantle, and is also England's oldest living Test captain. He is the tenth oldest living Test cricketer, according to this list.. Uninteresting trivia. Unlike John 'The Dentist' Maynard, the West Indian fast bowler nicknamed for his ability to remove a batsman's teeth, Ken Cranston actually used to be a dentist. Thanks for that 12T. I knew I'd seen the list one here somewhere before. And well done TMIB on selecting John Smyth!

Jeez! That takes me back to my student days! Are you the ghost of Peter Ladefoged by any chance?!