Alphonsin

This just in from the BBC: The suicide toll in Bridgend, South East Wales, was extended last night after Emryn Hughes, a 17-year-old student from the former mining town*, was found hanged. Mid Glamorgan police said that Hughes, who was described by teachers and fellow students as "mediocre", appeared to have hanged himself with a kettle lead in a municipal park, his George by Asda jeans leaking excrement after his bowels evacuated themselves shortly after his death. His unedifying demise brings to 18 the number of disaffected, and generally rather unimpressive, youths that have opted to take their lives before making anything of them. Community leaders in the economically depressed town expressed fresh alarm at the string of recent suicides, but were nonetheless glad that another ne'er-do-well had taken the easy way out and reduced the burden on the taxpayer of supporting white-socks-wearing layabouts. "What a loser!" said William Jones, a keyworker at a Bridgend youth centre that Hughes frequented. "He played table-tennis very badly. We won't miss him." Hughes, who was noted by keyworkers for his lack of originality and tendency to be influenced by others, had been failing miserably in his studies. "He was a bit of a thicko," said one of the students on his course. Plaques have started to build at the sixth-form college where he studied. "Why?" read one. "Why not?" read another. The acne-blighted teenager, who had several ASBOs barring him from associating with sheep... etc, etc... * It's not a former mining town, but the press isn't letting that get in the way of the story. But, yes, HCW, I agree with you, I think.

But isn't it making the news because seventeen people of in their late teens/early twenties have killed themselves in Bridgend, over and above the more average numbers of older inhabitants who ended their lives? No connection but definite cluster, hence the story. Rats. This always happens when I try to be clever. Hadn't spotted that flaw in the argument. I still think that it's media hype and I would bet (note the new element of uncertainty) that most suicides are from that age cohort. Most suicides are much older than that. Of course there are different ways of coming to an average, but if you look into it you'll find that however you do it you'll be looking at something from late forties upwards. Old people topping themselves doesn't have the same news appeal, though. On that media front, I remember when I was at university there being a big deal in the press about several undergraduates topping themselves and how this was all to do with high pressure, etc etc. However, if you looked into it the student suicide figures were no higher than the youth suicide rate among "townies" but people just thought it made a good story. Added: While the Bridgend thing is quite interesting, we're talking about very small data sets. The Texas sharpshooter fallacy is worth bearing in mind. That said, it's not unreasonable to suppose that suicidal kids are more likely to kill themselves if they're aware of others having done it. A friend of mine in Yugoslavia had a classmate who killed herself. In the next short while two more of her schoolmates killed themselves -- in each of the three instances by hanging themselves from a doorknob.

To the optimist, the glass is half-full; to the pessimist, half-empty; and to the structural engineer it's twice as large as it needs to be. Watch this chap, to whom it's part of a pretty cool instrument.

Good to know it's *nervous* trepidation rather than any other kind I guess it's justified. Oops, sorry. Just getting you used to the kind of irritating remarks you'll encounter here. Welcome!

Sorry to be a bore, but it's pronounced with a "vee" sound rather than an "ef", and the "u" is between the "oo" in "look" and "oo" in "cool". [but maybe, of course, you pronounce f**k oddly] I'll add to the vast educational worth of my post by also noting that the name Vuk means "wolf".

Learn about, and see some great photos of, hyenas in Nigeria

I agree with you, really. It's just that since Lent *has* been pretty much secularised, it might as well be treated as a positive opportunity rather than a period of stripping things out. But, as you say, that's not in keeping with what it's really about. I often point out to a clergyman I know that it's a great pity that people miss out on what Easter is *really* about -- that we spend time gorging ourselves on chocolate eggs etc and fail to remember that at this time our thoughts should be focused on who it's all concerning: the Easter Bunny. Ramadan is great. A while ago I lived in a country that observed it and it meant that the streets, which were at all other times completely hectic, were wonderfully empty in the half-hour or so leading up to iftar, the breaking of the fast, and the next hour or so after. Amusingly, observers of Ramadan tend to eat far, far more in the period than at other times of year. Religious binge eating, it can't be beaten. (The one drawback is that people are in filthy moods during the day, largely because they can't smoke).

I hear from a friend of a friend that the actor Ian Holm has Parkinson's and is not long for this world.

Freelancing, ie stretching out indefinitely the "between"*. Well, now, time to get out of my jim-jams**... * As mentioned in another thread, I'm broadening my portfolio -- talking therapy (blood-type diets a speciality); plumbing (I don't know much about pipes, but I'll follow up with a clean, 1000-word write-up); sex instruction (only leggy blond*e*s considered). ** Er, and into something else.

I don't really go for this Lent thing, but if I did I'd be much more inclined to add positive things to my life rather than strip out negatives. I think it'd make far more sense to commit to getting in shape [or getting slightly less out of shape] for Lent than giving up chocolate, say. Similarly, committing to a new, good enterprise, like running / worthwhile reading / firming up old friendships or whatever seems a lot better than just resolving not to do something like smoking for the period. The benefits of the former will long outlast those of the latter, assuming that the bad habit is taken up again afterwards.

How much do you pay your therapist an hour? If you can make a 5-hour booking with me [2pm to 7pm, say, some Saturday] I'll undercut him or her by 10% and I'll throw in your bus fare down to London. We'll sit in a secluded area of a pub in Islington and talk things through. I'll even pay for your blackcurrant and sodas [although I think lime and soda would benefit your lower gut more] out of my fee. Whaddya think?

I think you've been watching too much Judge Judy, Windsor. I'm reminded, though, of how amusing I find it when a judge or police officer remarks of a particularly brutal crime, "You wouldn't treat an animal like that." Like you might, from time to time, submit a dog to a bit of casual torture etc but never that much... I hope you're catching Psychic Temptation with Rikki on ITV2 right now, btw...

Her life at risk, according to family.

I think there's just the slightest chance that both Mr Lewis-Smith and Dr Strangelove are aware of Dr Hawking's condition.

What's the difference between Heath Ledger and Madeleine McCann? Heath wasn't supposed to take the whole bottle's worth.

I met Beadle in Kosovo, at the airport as he was about to fly back from entertaining the KFOR troops. He kindly posed for a photo with me and gave me his autograph. We chatted for a few minutes and he really seemed a nice guy. When I told him [entirely honestly] that I really enjoyed his shows, he was very self-deprecating and underlined that I "really needed to get a life". I met his daughter more recently and was told by her friends "whatever you do, don't mention her father -- she's so sick and tired of people being nasty about him". I thought he was a genuinely nice, and entertaining, chap. But most impressive, I thought, was how he just shrugged off the constant bile that was spewed about him [oops, that paints an odd picture]. Most people who are able to simply get on with things when so universally despised are either evil [Mugabe et al] or just thick [Jade from BB]. For somebody relatively clever and at the same time apparently personable to put up with such hatred is, I think, pretty impressive. As pointed out in some of his obits, he was voted the second-most hated man in Britain in 2001 [saddam Hussein came first]. But hey, I could be getting it wrong. The wife of a former Classics master of mine was friends with Beadle's ex-wife and I heard via that connection that he wasn't a very nice guy. Maybe. Either way, I thought his shows were great. Doubtless that's testimony to my low-brow idiocy, as well. Ramble over. Edit: Just watching that idiot Henry Kelly talking about him on BBC Breakfast. Apparently, Beadle was indeed a "true bilblophile" [sic] and once bought two carloads of books [without looking at what they were] from a man in "Alexander Palace". If only Kelly had gone instead... Another edit: Jeremy Beadle had a very large penis. But on the other hand, it was quite small. [Apologies if this has already been shared (perhaps even by me; I'm rather tired)]

Yeah, I know it's not a *famous* poison arrow death, but I'm bored... [The quote allows itself to be read as if the murdered person, along with all the other people on the trip, is now "fine". (I warned you I was bored)] British envoy probes poison arrow attack Evening Standard, 22 February 1994 AN ATTACK on a tour group in which a man was killed by a poisoned arrow was under investigation by the British High Commission in Tanzania today. The murder happened when tribesmen ambushed the British-led safari party who had set up camp in a remote part of the Tanzanian bush. Canadian Robert Collier, 30, from British Columbia, died an hour after being shot in the right calf. The 18 members of the party, which included a number of Britons, were on their way to the Serengeti wildlife reserve on a 33-week trans-Africa trip organised by adventure specialist group Guerba Expeditions, of Westbury, Wiltshire. About a quarter of Tanzania's 200,000 annual visitors are British and tourists were today being urged not to be put off travelling to the area. British members of the trip included Graham and Rosemary Bennett, 45, from Wembley, north London, Karen Prosser, 24, from Solihull, West Midlands, and Errol Robathan, 27, from Bristol. Mr Robathan's mother, Marion, of Westbury-on-Trym, Bristol, said: `When I was told about the attack I was terrified because I wasn't sure if he was hurt or not. I haven't actually heard from him yet but I gather he and all the others are fine.'

The judge sentencing him to three months for breaching a restraining order said Kershaw is hell-bent on self-destruction in what is becoming a "Greek tragedy". Move over Aulis, Tauris etc, and make way for the Isle of Man...

Good point. It sounded as if he used to be a big drinker before his incarceration, as well. [insert national stereotype of Scottish people here]. Stupidly, I forgot also to mention that he said one of his reasons for going along with the "no contest" plea that allowed him to get out was that his "health isn't too good". No mention of how not. Maybe he was getting deep-fried Mars bars delivered while inside.

Have just been getting my daily fix of accidentally watched a bit of ITV's This Morning. Kenny Richey, the Scot recently released from death row, was discussing his suicidal feelings while in prison. Fair enough, but he also told Phillip and Fern the two presenters, whoever they are, that he felt more suicidal now that he was free than he did while inside. Which is curious, imho. He said that what stopped him was the thought that he would hurt his family. With his father apparently soon to be gone from cancer, could Kenny be an outside chance for next year? I don't really think so, but you never know...

In my opinion, the most significant death [yep, the criteria can be argued over and over] was that of Christ, as some others have said. To question his historical existence is daft; we have far, far more reason to suppose that he lived than we do, say, Julius Caesar. (Interestingly, Jewish historical reports of the time recorded that he was raised again, too, but said that this was a work of sorcery and downplayed any suggestion of his role as Messiah; but I'm not going to go there). For me, Diana was the most memorable death. Part of that is because I must have been in the last 0.005 per cent of Europe to hear about it. I was with a then girlfriend walking in the mountains of Slovakia and the night after her death had some people saying to me "Diana... Princess Diana.. deeeed... deeeed", which I utterly failed to understand. I just replied with "Paul Gascoigne", "Manchester Utd" and any other phrase that seemed to indicate that, yes, I'm British, and let's enjoy any cultural shared space [but why say "deeeed" all the time?]. It wasn't until the next night that a German tourist elsewhere managed to tell me what had happened. I thought Diana was a stupid cow, but it was very strange to think that she was, well, deeeed. It kept on coming into my mind -- "She can't be dead. Really?", all the time. For days and days. Another death that I found very significant was that of Bob Flannigan [spelling probably wrong, but I'm too tired and pissed to bother with the intertubes]. He was the subject of Sick: The Life and Death of Bob Flannigan, Super-Masochist, or a similarly named film. He'd been ill since he was young with a painful lung condition and during puberty discovered that he could alleviate his discomfort by having pain inflicted on him by others. In the course of the documentary you see him experiencing really awful, accepted pain (in a largely sexual context). Near the end, though, there's a scene where he's in hospital dying. He sits up after a spell unconscious and starts going "Sh*t! sh*t! I'm dying! f*****g hell! I'm dying!". It's terrifying. And you think "Jeez, this is a guy who can go through all sorts of terrifying sh*t and handle it, and those are things that I'm not going to go through (like having his cock knotted and pool balls pushed up his backside)" but you see him go through the moments before dying, which there's a good chance you and I *will* actually be aware of, and think "Crikey! That's not going to be fun!". Hey ho... PS: I shan't drag up the earlier thread in which I mentioned my work situation, but would just like to say thanks to the people who responded, rather unexpectedly, with kind regards and encouragement. Thanks!

OK, so there should be a better thread to put this in, but... My job has died. A slightly misjudged email and I've been fired. It was apparently "offensive" and hence, I expect I'll learn from the papers that they said they'd post me before they marched me out, "gross misconduct". It wasn't actually offensive but it simply pissed off my shitty employers [who like to believe that they're not actually my "employers"], but I won't say more because I "need to sleep on things before doing anything" [according to friends] and must get a copy of Suing The Bum Off Employers [After Showing That They Are Your Employers] For Beginners. Happy New Year, everybody...

Depends what O/S you're packin'. Probably Toast for Mac OS. Toast wouldn't do the trick, although you could use it of course to burn to disc any MP3 track that you'd created. For Mac your best bet would be Audio Hijack. But as you're interested in Windows, try mymp3 mymp3 recorder. It's free and records whatever it is that your PC is putting through its sound card: whether internet radio, iTunes, external microphone etc. Oops, I got the website wrong. mp3mymp3.com although it's a rubbish name whatever.

Depends what O/S you're packin'. Probably Toast for Mac OS. Toast wouldn't do the trick, although you could use it of course to burn to disc any MP3 track that you'd created. For Mac your best bet would be Audio Hijack. But as you're interested in Windows, try mymp3 mymp3 recorder. It's free and records whatever it is that your PC is putting through its sound card: whether internet radio, iTunes, external microphone etc.

Bit annoyed Dan didn't hang on a couple of weeks... I noticed he had "battled" against prostate cancer. Have you noticed that in the media everyone "battles" against cancer. Even if you had cancer and said: "Aw f**k it, do your worst, just get it over with!" in the eyes of the media you would still be "battling cancer" to your grave. Indeed. Most irritating. Worse still is when, as with the recently departed Katy French, they are in a coma and still described as "battling for their life". It makes you think that there's some kind of Nightmare On Elm Street thing going on and while the patient *looks* like they're not doing anything, they're actually in this parallel dream universe pitted against loads of demons and orcs, etc., and whether or not they come back to conscious life depends on whether they can fight them all off. But maybe that's just me...