Tuber Mirum

This is understandable really, since when the time came when the Wehrmacht found they had to leg it out of Holland sharpish like, your average Fritz Nazi, being not disinclined towards committing the odd war crime or two, naturally took advantage of the fact that there were rather a lot of unattended bicycles around the place. You or I would have done the same if we had ever invaded Holland and then been repelled by the Americans. Perhaps it explains why the Dutch drive up and down the German Autobahn all day with their caravans in tow, holding up all the traffic as an act of retribution.

The Jainists have a pretty good record on that count. And I can't seem to recall any mass genocide committed by the Hare Krishnas although I may be wrong. The followers of Deathlistism, though a small brotherhood, are also a fairly peaceable bunch on the whole. (Although our relations with Germany are sadly not what they could be)

I understood this bit.

When did you plan to see her for a bit? I merely wished to enquire as to the health of her male parent.

People kill each other brutally and senselessly and for fun or out of religious/political/nationalistic conviction. It's human nature. Always have done, always will do. (Of course nobody we know personally does that sort of thing.) There is no correlation to any particular nationality, religion or political system. We tend to value our own lives more than those of our enemies. Which is understandable. That's why it's OK to flatten their cities, but not for them to do the same to ours. Name me more than a few countries or religions which haven't done away with an awful lot of people in the past 200 years or so. The Mennonites perhaps, or the Quakers. Can't think of any countries offhand. The Anti-Communists are definitely in no position to be casting stones.

Not dutch, but Southern German. Blossfussig I've never heard before. Literally barefooted, but I don't know what they mean by it.

Not at all, Mr. Josco. What have you done with Amanda anyway? Haven't seen her for a bit. Did she change back into Weatherman at midnight?

Obviously I was wrong. Forget it.

Sorry, I was helping the police with their enquiries. I could translate that if you want, but you don't really want me to, do you? It's nothing you haven't heard before.

Before your time, old thing!

I wonder if stumbling over that loophole and seeing something which made him cry would explain the recent long and uncharacteristic silence we are currently enjoying from one of our younger viewers? Just a thought.

And if you can't take a joke, you are likely to have a bit of a heavy time of it on the Deathlist. Deathlist: What do you want? JIM:Information! DL: You won't get it!

Devonator, your remarks lack credibility.

Errmm.... that would be me you're talking about. Of course you are right about Kissinger, but the fact that he is a jew is immaterial. I'm not sure if he practises either religion anyway. Much respected he may be, but without much justification, in my opinion. The point I was making is that Kissinger, bush, Nixon, (and even Kennedy) et al are (were) all no better and possibly worse than Castro or any other dictator who has imprisoned or killed thousands of people for spurious reasons of national security or because God told them to, or whatever. History will record this, after the revolution. (It is mighty slow in coming, Mr Kommunist. Is it worth my while starting a new batch of homebrew?) Sure, Cuba will be better off without Castro. Just don't kid yourself you're a special case. Many world leaders belong behind bars, but they aren't are they? Facts are abused by everyone who argues on one side or another. And accusations of non-intelligence are nothing but cheap and easy abuse. Western Democratic nations my arse anyway. There aren't really too many of them

Not sure that one could refer to Hitler or Himmler as GOOD catholics without starting a major ranting session. (87 now) Hmm.... Interesting subject, Hitler and religion. The style and content of some of those quotes seem almost familiar, as if I'd heard something very similar recently somewhere.

You are what you is You is what you am (A cow don't make ham . . . ) You ain't what you're not So see what you got You are what you is An' that's all it 'tis (Frank Zappa)

I doubt there will be much dissent on the topic of Her Thatcherness when she finally has the decency. Her thread has always been more or less one-sided. ("evil cow", "vindictive old ratbag" etc.,) Waldheim is the one to worry about. I'm keeping right out of that one. Probably.

Presumably he has a whole lot of those speech balloons which he carries around with him all the time, in case he needs to call anyone a M*therF@ck%r at short notice. Funniest man alive my asre anyway.

Ah, early Whreaametn, I believe! A much derided, yet somehow much derided literary style.

In case nobody's heard this one before: (apologies in advance to Captain Oates ) Q: Why did God create Aberdonian women? (That means women from Aberdeen for those who don't know) A: Because sheep can't fillet fish.

implimented?

Sorry, did I write "thrift"? I meant "theft".

...and you know this how? Isn't it a little suspect, a Welshman like Mr Honez living in the one country in the world which has the most sheep of all? (Or does New Zealand have more?) I for my part moved away from Aberdeen to a part of the world which appears to have a singular dearth of said animals. Can't accuse me of pots and kettles. Now where did I put my velcro trousers?

If only Churchill had heard of that one, he might have said democracy is only the second best form of government.

So do I.