Tuber Mirum

Now, now, Captain. Pushing the boat out a bit aren't we?

That's what I said, isn't it?

Jings, crivvens & help ma boab. fits gang oan here then. ( A bit too Aberdonian I think, I'll come further south) That's nothing like Aberdonian! Sounds more like Oor Wullie (who is from Dundee or Bathgate or somewhere) apart from the word "fits" by which I presume you mean the Aberdonian word "fit's". Aberdonian would be: Michty me! Fit in 'e name o' creation are ye greetin aboot onywye? Pretty convincing Glaswegian though.

Perhaps, if St. Josco were to publish an image of himself here it would have the effect of eliminating any misconceptions which may have arisen as to which celebrities he does or does not resemble.

I must ask, do people write in accents? Can you see mine? (to be read with a Scottish-German accent) Israeli-Texan. Plain as day.

I know it now though because you just told me. Does that mean you could help me to get hold of a cheap second-hand bicycle?

What we need is a charismatic figurehead. Someone slightly aloof yet overtly benign. Commanding the respect and love of his innumerable devotees. Any volunteers? Death Watch Beatle? (The tax benefits to being a religion can be impressively huge. )

How about: Impaler Disemboweller Weatherman Kissinger Dr. Crippen Pontius Pilate Schwarzenegger Lucretia Borgia or even: Milk Snatcher?

Wait a minute! Communism is bad ergo capitalism is great? That's like saying that just because Jim Callaghan was utterly useless, Mrs T. was absolutely wonderful. Anyway, suggesting that Castro is not going to die soon is in no way defending communism. What I am trying to say in a roundabout sort of way is that you are talking CRAP!

Mr Josco, your postings regarding the Leader of the Conservative Party would be more credible if I didn't happen to believe that you have, in your time also expressed support and admiration for some of his predecessors. My opinion is that since the early 70's no prime minister has been better or worse than his or her opponent might have been if he had won the election instead. Bliar is a transparently stupid twunt as you imply. But from my safe standpoint abroad, it looks like Mr. Brown has done the country some good. And he obviously dislikes Blair intensely which wins him a couple of extra points with me. Also, I met him once on a train. Travelling 2nd class. Impressive

A Google search for Weatherman90 reveals a couple of his favourite hangouts. If anyone wants to stalk him, that might be a good start. But I suspect there are probably laws against that sort of thing. Common sense would also suggest finding something else less stupid to do instead.

And if he didn't? It's not a question of if he did it or not. It's if he is found guilty or not. Anyone here seriously think he might not have done it?

I'm a bit confused by this recent concern for W********n's whereabouts. Is it not enough that he is not here? I get the feeling Mr 007 is a bit of a masochist, if he wants The Annoyoying One to return merely so that he can try to drive him off again. Fun for Mr 007 perhaps, but not nice for most of the rest of us. If I never see that blood-boilingly irritating Avatar again it will be too soon. Let sleeping Twunts lie, I say.

Pleased to make your aquaintance, Miss Australia. I am Mr. Universe.

That link doesn't work HCW you have "http" in the address twice

I'm pleased to see Miss Amanda is now in the club. And its all thanks to Mr. Josco and his little man.

You could do that Miss Amanda, all you have to do is go to page one and click edit. Is it really possible to change the title of a thread one has started? I can't seem to manage it.

Probably waiting for his call up into the witness box at Mr Jackson's trial. Brilliant! I love it! Well said Mr. Honez! ;) Perhaps it is because there are ladies present?

So in deleting Mattd007's sig. they were "only obeying orders" then?

Funny! I used to consider myself one of those when I was about 12, So what happened? Why am I not one now? Was I demoted? Or de-modded? Or even De-mo-ped?

Must get over there sometime. My grandfather lives somewhere in Canada. Not that there isn't enough snow here at the minute. Having travelled the length of Germany and back in the past week, if I never see snow again it will be too soon.

Since when do the number of posts a person makes matter? I have 2000+ on another board and believe me, I'm not the most popular guy around there. Did I say it did? Is the reason that you are less popular because you have made so many posts, or more on account of the content of some of them? Surely promotion to executioner is desirable. On the other hand, if as is being suggested in another thread, more ranks are created for higher numbers of posts, it may encourage some to make lots of irrelevant postings. Like this one.

There is humour to be found in everything. Whilst I didn't find Amanda's jokes particularly side-splitting, I''m sure most amputees will accept that there is some degree of humour to be won from their predicament. Any amputee (or other disadvantaged butt-of-a-joke) with a bit of character would be grateful that at least something cheering comes of it. I don't mean abusive or insulting jokes, but Amanda's weren't that. Just not on the higher end of a scale of one to ten for funniness. Who has no humour? From what little I know of Amanda, she too, if yet to actually lose any limbs, has seen the hard side of life. But remains nonetheless positive, cheerful and maintains a consistently amusing and engaging style in her many postings. Anyway, most of the non-death-related postings on the Deathlist consist of members ridiculing one-another or themselves for their petty failings. Or as the highly articulate Mr Josco would have it: If all reference to anything which could possibly offend anyone were removed from jokes, then humour would end up like US television. i.e.: Crap. I don't like Heather much. That business with her making Paul fire his manager or whatever it was stank to me. But then I didn't really like Linda much either with her vegetarian ready meals.

By following any religion, you are putting yourself under the power of other human beings, not some supernatural deity. What happened was, a few thousand years ago, some cleverer than average medicine man decided that he would explain all the things that people didn't understand, like fire, the sun, winter, disease, and most other things by saying that there was a powerful being living in the sky and he (the medicine man) was the only one who knew what everyone had to do in order not to invoke the wrath of this "god". The result of this was that the medicine man, who called himself a priest, got given lots of food (sacrificial offerings) by the people, wore the best clothes, got to shag lots of virgins and had more money than anyone else. Nice work if you can get it. Hell was necessary as a threat of eternal suffering for those who wouldn't join in, to make them guilty and scared. Same as Mr Bush is still trying to do today. (Though nobody would call him cleverer than average) The altruistic, non self-serving, good side of religion led to many good things like charity and much of the music and architecture we have today, but people would have been nice to each other even without religion, I'm sure. And in many cases a lot less nasty to each other. Some of your modern religions like the Mormons or the Jehova's Witnesses don't have hell. That is an attempt to make those religions more marketable to the white, middle-class community. A sort of low-risk investment. Has worked well for the Mormons making them filthy rich, but the Witnesses have lost a lot of credibility through consistently failing to predict the end of the world. The Roman Catholic Church is the biggest Guilt Club in the world. But religion arose and was successful because human beings have a need for it. That's people for you. Who knows what else the uncontrolled masses might have got up to?

Amanda, you should be able to see all those graphics all right even on the crappiest, oldest iMac. You need to find your "displays" control panel and fiddle around with the settings. I don't know which mac OS you are using, but clicking on the apple in the top left of the screen is often a good start. There is little chance that you will make things worse than they already are! In order to please Inar, if you have something to add to a post, you can use the "edit" button on the top right of the post. Saves you from writing several posts in a row in the same thread. Though it will delay your forthcoming promotion to executioner.