thefunkyfaz

That was beautiful, man. Beautiful.

Apparently he mistook him for Peter Falk.......

Is that the right American spelling? As far as I know... No, masturbating is the correct spelling. Masterbating, AKA jurking off Having a wink?

Same. This will teach me to not trust the claims of a notorious murderer and the lawyer of said notorious murderer. No need to tak, as JR Hartley I could talk him to death, initially about Fly-Fishing of course... Just don't give him a copy of the Yellow Pages open at the French Polishers page - it's just possible they could save his life.....

Doppelganger, how? Any suggestions, bar Latoya?? The Emperor from Star Wars??... nah he died moons ago. Wtf is going on with that nose? Does he honestly feel better now that is holds no flesh?? I blame Charlie. What is worse is that he has never fully been able to alter his eyes which remain Afro. What do you mean alter? He hasn't altered anything. It's a skin-whitening disease, not plastic surgery. He said so to Martin Bashir. So there.

Yikes. Mind you. I've never looked at Janet Ellis in the same way since she was on the Jeremy Vine show a couple of years ago talking about stress induced incontinence in middle aged women. She was trying to raise awareness but didn't admit to being a sufferer, so let's hope she's not. Cause she's lovely. Much nicer than her daughter. Mmm.... memories of Jigsaw, Blue Peter, etc...... This has nowt to do with rappers though...

I had a dream about him some years ago...in the dream I could hear the song "Denis Denis" by Blondie, and there were lots of images of the great man smiling and holding his clipboard. Then the music stopped abruptly and Peter Sissons appeared behind a newsdesk and uttered the words "Denis Norden, who died today." Shame Sissons is seldom on the news today, it would be quite something to see Denis Norden's demise reported thusly...

He did stress that this will be it, the last time he performs in the UK, ever, his farewell concerts, etc etc. Could this be a hint that all is indeed not well with his health, as has been speculated? Or will we be subjected to him coming out of retirement at 70 a la Tina Turner and doing it all again? Anyway, he loves his fans. So much. He really does. Especially the young.... ok I'll stop there.

And instead of using a hearse, her coffin will be transported on a 3 seater bicycle, which would be more fitting for a Goodie...

The miraculous road to a miraculous recovery begins with one miraculous step. I think this is that step, a bit of chanting and praying and miraculously, she'll start felling better in no time. Was this the chant perchance? Or perhaps ? Maybe even this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SCt8JPAkgU

From http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/artic...?ITO=1490....... "In the US Oprah Winfrey and Larry King are said to be interested in interviewing Jade." Hmm. A more likely interviewer in the near future would be Russell Harty...

Well, that looks like a cold, harsh prison, doesn't it... Spot the biggest criminal in this room.... CLUE - There's a sign above Frank's left shoulder, and there's something in Sir Jimmy's left hand... LOCK HIM UP IMMEDIATELY! But be nice to the beardy gent if he's harmless now. (PS Am I the only person willing a smouldering piece of ash to leap from Sir Jimmy's cigar onto Sutcliffe's non-flame retardent shellsuit ?)

So the upshot of this little exercise is that Dilys Laye has tipped the balance from an even 50/50 split of alive/dead Carry On Stars, and given the advantage to those no longer with us. EXCEPT that the great Robin Askwith (Girls) has been omitted, as has Anna Karen (Camping, Loving) and Johnny Briggs (Khyber, Behind, England), along with (presumably) a number of the gratuitous totty essential for making a Carry On film what it was. On the minus side, Roy Castle and Cardew Robinson (both appeared in Khyber, neither is living) were also omitted. Conclusion then? Who knows. But it appears my statement that there aren't many left now was not strictly correct. One thing's for sure though - the number still living can only go one way.....

I expect they'll be glad to see the back of him! I guess he'll want to be buried, if he can find a hole big enough! Then there's the back filling as soon as he's planted! etc. etc. I've heard that when Patrick Moore dies, Julian Clary is in line to present the Sky at Night, or as it will be renamed, "Looking Up At Uranus"...... ...sorry...

There aren't many of the main original Carry On stars left though...Jim Dale, Babs, Lord Leslie Phillips and St Windsor of Davies (plus Angela Douglas and Jacki Piper on the post-Babs totty side...). And June Whitfield. Oh yes, Bernard Cribbins. Kenneth Cope. Julian Holloway. Well, maybe there are a few after all..... Not to mention the man behind it all.. Peter Rogers who turns 95 today The man, the legend. Mr Rogers, we salute you.

There aren't many of the main original Carry On stars left though...Jim Dale, Babs, Lord Leslie Phillips and St Windsor of Davies (plus Angela Douglas and Jacki Piper on the post-Babs totty side...). And June Whitfield. Oh yes, Bernard Cribbins. Kenneth Cope. Julian Holloway. Well, maybe there are a few after all.....

Dilys layed to rest. Sad news indeed. Not many of 'em left now.....

According to t'Sun..... "Her estate will be in Jack’s name for seven years to avoid inheritance tax before it goes to sons Bobby, five, and Freddie, four, The Sun can reveal. " Holding money on behalf of children is normally called a "trust", and there are tax implications with trusts. Whereas leaving your whole estate to a spouse, regardless of size (of estate, not spouse) is exempt from tax. So this isn't a marriage for tax reasons then, is it? Of course, in seven years' time once Jack has graciously donated the vast fortune which will be legally HIS money (and which he won't have squandered on wild living or spent on the next woman he ends up with) to Jade's (not his) kids, he will have to make sure he stays alive for a further seven years otherwise Mr Taxman will come knocking... Maybe I'm just getting cynical.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/21/20090213/tuk-t...al-6323e80.html Pneumonia. Watch this space.....

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/artic...rs-funeral.html OK, so Emily was never really going to turn to me for comfort. But Bob Geldof? And JEREMY PAXMAN???! Bah...

Just to clarify,he was the leader of the Catholic Copts, not to be confused with the Coptic Orthodox Church,headed by Pope Shenouda III,or the Coptic Orthodox Patriarchate, headed by Pope-Patriarch Theodoros II. It would have been more impressive if he was leader of the Keystone Copts. All that matters is that he's copt it.

"And now... the mortuary." Sad news indeed, but the great man is the first strike on my Wormfood Bingo list for this year. Rumour has it that Morph is going to walk behind the coffin...

Wait a moment Emily, just let me get my consoling trousers on.......

That's her! Now, form an orderly queue, please...

He certainly doesn't look too good in this picture from September this year. It's at an odd angle though so it's hard to tell http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol...icle4847425.ece Awwww. I felt quite emotional by the time I got to "My aged heart is warmed by the lovely letters and e-mails I receive..." A sweet old gentleman, and a true televisual legend. Oh yes, and he's way up on my list for 2009. Just hope he holds on for the next 9 days...