Monoclinic

If the average lifespan of a reptilian humanoid is anything like a giant tortoise there could well be an extra bank holiday on her sesquicentennial anniversary.

Don't worry, the future is in photosynthesis. It pays my bills yet if I tell you any more, I'd have to kill you

Global warming, meaning warming on a global scale may not result in local warming for some areas. As the Gulf stream is warmed, its flow is altered, meaning that the UK might not get its previous current of "warm" water to help keep things as they used to be. Look at the UK's latitude on a map or globe and compare its usual mean temps with other locations of a similar northern latitude. They're more like what the temperature would/should be like without the gulf stream. If you don't like snow now, you'd better start to, 'cause there's more coming. But then again, if you're a climate change skeptic then there's nothing to worry about, 'cause none of this is happening. Monoclinic likes this.

Good luck! I've just returned from the tropical deep south back to the white winterland I left just over a week ago, unfortunately the heating is still broken. Luckily I live in town and the footpaths (well those from the train station to chez moi) were dry and provided friction.

Is this Top trumps? I take your friends of friends and people you've said hello to and raise you someone from my year in my old school who unfortunately was killed in Iraq. As I am sticking my *bib* in here I thought I'd better close with a few well chosen googled passages before we have to take this thread to Admin Solomon. What Google 7:31-33 is trying to say is turn the other cheek and drop this pointless repetitive argument. Come up with some fresh ranting worthy of reading. I mean some of us have jobs and lives here to continue [/tongue in opposite cheek].

It's just taken England a mere four and a quarter days to give South Africa a sound thrashing. Here's a quick rules refresher, CA, as inscribed on many a tea towel (dish towel): You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game. Good to see you address the serious things in life in a more acceptable fontage Harry!

What did the email say? Since you ask: She's right. I can't name anyone else who played for England Ladies. You could ask her to pay for an obituary in The Times as a mark of respect for her dear friend. Failing that you could ask for a deal on that function space for DL CON 4.

Perhaps I have not grasped the eloquence of your discourse however if you had left the forum how did you know that our very own Scottish jihadist had made a slur against the Pope? [aside] If you believe that there is nothing to believe in does that make you a believer?

Blimey, I hope any obit writers out there weren't counting on a holiday this Christmas. 57 odd celebs have just been tarred with the DDT post of death!

I'll do an Alan Davies special and opt for the Q.I. trick answer, x = . Edit - For those that didn't get it, that was Germany 1 - England 5 )

In the modern world 12 is positively tropical. Or did you receive 12 degrees through the post from some Nigerian based internet site? If that's on the Kelvin scale then you're more than likely dead.

Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough! http://www.xperteleven.com/ This is my less subtle approach to advertising. Anyone who fancies managing a football team give Death Watch Beatle a shout for the league details. The game entails choosing tactics, buying and selling players, winning games, writing funny and not so funny press releases, playing the pools, training players and so on. Once you work out all the nuances then the game really doesn't take up much of your time at all and we are all on hand to help.

They were there the day before too, but perhaps you were part of the USA group practising arriving really late for World War III. Around the time of practising testing WMD on civilian targets and allocating reparations. This was the most popular option amongst the US groups. The practising starting your own war against teeny weeny countries and not doing so well, had a certain 'retro' feel that appealed to some, and would provide great material for some historically accurate films. The least popular choice however was the, practising having your hands in the air, pointing up to the sky at low flying aircraft. Rehearsing indignation and surprise in front of TV cameras, that what you do in a foreign land can actually have consequences in the USA, is particularly important. Getting off topic for a moment, whilst there will be some giving thanks that JH's tour is cancelled others may not. For those here is the man himself pretending to be a war hero. If the DL had an FB "You like this" comment then my thumb would be raised. Can I add in that I saw a group of men walking around shooting at that group of men who were walking around wih their hands in the air. Turned out it was just a bunch of USAians practising their friendly fire routine. Iaculore iam, reputo laxus or summat!

No, he's a cretin not a chrétien. Well, I don't actually know that but I do know he's tried to be a Belgian and is now a Swiss or something to avoid paying Monsieur les impots. Ah pelebs, when they've got so much of it they want to give so little of it away or summat.

Ah that clarifies a few fervent conversations today that I chose to tune out. Standard aren't a patch on Southampton now so why should I care? Anyway some even better news, let's hope that the old adage no smoke without fire holds true.

May I suggest this song, or perhaps this one. I am sure someone with a much better knowledge of Billy Joel's back catalogue could do better.

Did he actually take it on his latest iNokia Phone and post it on youtube? If so I'd like to know which funding body! Note to Farmer DDT. Is that the site I sent you ages ago for reasons I forget (I remember it being to do with some Armageddon or another and most probably a googlethon)?

Best idea he has had in ages. Alex, oooooh my hero!! Probably the best idea since he decided not to contest his constituency at the next general election. For the first time in my life, Alex Salmond will not be my MP. Any Any..... What were you going to say? Any way, Alex's referendum will not work. There are limited options for Scotland's independence, the fiscal lights are going out around the world and small countries will suffer most. However, GB's fiscal outlook is the bleakest of the lot so perhaps Scotland should align with Norway (or even Iceland!) I hear the plan is to keep Queenie as head of state, I can go one better. As a diplomatic detente and a way of saying sorry for Culloden I suggest we offer up the Royal family to the Scotch people. She already has a house up there and I'm sure Londoners would quite happily offload some of the US and Japanese tourists that clog up their city to go with them. What do you say Windy, are you prepared to accept on behalf of Scotchland this most generous offer? Mono A future English Citizen and co-architect of the new republic.

Put me down for the 8th March (seeing as August is out of the question) at 8.08 weighing in at 8 lb 8 oz. If it's a boy I'd suggest Callum Aries, if it's a girl then Sue Tin(t)a.

Not any more - he's dead. Anyone else not understand a word of that link? Selector, someone who plays oeuvres of a musical nature that have possibly been recorded onto a flat circular object. No horses are ridden in this process however I think some pidgins tried to put on a few airs and graces for the purpose of said article with little success.

Fingers crossed that O'Grady is next. Whats so bad about Paul O'Grady? He's a twat. Which is quite ironic with all things considered.

I've no idea who he is either, however it merits a national holiday day of mourning in my book! I'd quite like Friday off.

Anyone else think of Yvonne as soon as the rainbow emitting head appeared?

Ah, nice one. Horsemen not allowed though. I totally forgot about the obvious one - Horses by Patti Smith. I could do with a few more though.... I see your forgot and raise you and overlook! The whole album came up on my search (Edit: I just redid it as I swore I had the album not just illegal downloads talking of which see below). Note to self, time to get glasses. I just typed Horse into Limewire, I can't guarentee these being correct: White horse - Taylor Swift (Theme to Brokeback Mountain )Beer for my horses - Toby Keith All those tired Horses - Bob Dylan All the king's horses - Nazareth, Grover Washington Jr, etc Death rides a horse -Olodum Youtube has or .

Well I'm sure you'll all laugh at some of what came up on my search: Horse Pills - Dandy Warhols Johnny the Horse - Madness Pantomime Horse - Suede One Horse Town - The Thrills Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses - U2 Dead Horse - Guns n' Roses Plus some of yours and two versions of Wild Horses, Mazzy Star and some band called The Rolling Stones. I don't know if these count but the search also gave: Four Horsemen - The Clash Four Horsemen of 2012 - The Klaxons