Monoclinic

Definitely. She probably doesn't appreciate the irony of calling herself a staunch Catholic whilst simultaneously announcing that she's being trying for seven years to get herself pregnant outside of wedlock. No prizes for guessing which particular part of the article revealed her wisdom to me. It's probably not conjoined twins after all, considering geographical location, just one being with two heads.

Oh please stop being a miserable old C-word Its alright for you, Monkey. You can criss cross Europe with only your fanny, a suitcase and an adventure to keep you company!! Lucky bugger I don't know anyone called Fanny. As for the adventure, I'm into my fourth year abroad so the intrigue has pretty much dwindled, it pretty much boils down to keeping yourself in a job to keep yourself in argent. There is a lot to be said to being settled and I admire all of you who have been at it for 10+ years, perhaps I should be giving it a go too. Anyway I don't want any yanker coming along, overanalysing this post and calculating that 2+2 = 57,054,345 so I'll leave it at that.

Oh please stop being a miserable old C-word

Haematite, Magnetite, Goethite or just the plain old slag?

Unfortunate accident. Tragically the winker survived.

Don't dip your wick elsewhere or you might get burnt

WTF? You surprise me yet again with how your cogs turn BS. I don't know how/where you got that impression of me, but it's incorrect. Erm, I hate to point out the obvious, BS, but there would be quite a few other DL members that do very similar things to me. That's the kind of stuff that grown ups do. I'm glad you find it hilarious. It's called life. Not all of us are plugged into the matrix 24 hours a day. Is this the kind of matrix you were thinking of? Godot - have a good sabbatical and hurry back soon!

You could always bring a spanner for emergencies. What is the going rate for a ticket from JFK to LHR these days and are there import taxes on tools?

HBHMBAWA!

Happy birthday CarolAnn!

At least you didn't catch the gay. Give it a day or two. I was at Fraserburgh Panto last night. All together now: Oh no you weren't

Fortunately it is indeed an island. Unfortunately some bright spark decided to build a couple of bridges. W**nkers. The civil engineer responsible for the bridge of sails should be shot at dawn and force fed his chartership posteriorly or do I just mean intra-rectum (ly), picture frame and all. Anyway, aren't tax havens supposed to be all Cartier, Louis Vuitton, Veuve Clicquot and Ferraris not Elizabeth Duke, New Look's latest accessory, Diamond White (is that still available on the open market?) and Ford Capris? Although, to be fair, if you are looking in a certain direction (i.e away from the luxury yacht moorings and the old toy town), Monaco is essentially an overcrowded concrete favela. Which would put it in the same category as Portsmouth. Oh and there'd be no need for money, they can't count so there'd be little hope of them having the skills to pay the bills. Instead of stamps they could just lick windows instead. Here endeth the stereotypical slur according to Mono.

Is this the Patrick Moore thread? I need to report that it's snowing again.

Happy birthday honez!

BERTRAND: Are you ze Revolutionary Front of Afghanistan? RENE: Fouck off! BERTRAND: A what? RENE: Revolutionary Front of Afghanistan. We arrre ze Afghan Revolutionary Front! Revolutionary Front of Afghanistan. Cawk. FRANCIS: Eh Wainkerrs. BERTRAND: Can I a... join your groupe? RENE: Non. Piss off. BERTRAND: I did not waant to sell zhis stuff. It iz only a job. I 'ate ze Coalition as much as any-body. AFGHAN REVOLUTIONARY FRONT: Shhhh. Shhhh. Shhh. Shh. Shhhh. RENE: Schtum. JOSEPHINE: Are you sure? BERTRAND: Bah oui, I am a dead sure. I 'ate the Coalition alre'dy. RENE: Lisen very carefoully, I shall zay zhis only once. If you rrreally a-wanted to join ze A.R.F., you'd 'ave to rrreally 'ate ze Coalition. BERTRAND: I do! RENE: Ah, oui? 'ow much? BERTRAND: A lotta! RENE: Right. You are een. Lisen. Ze only peeple we 'ate more zan ze Coalition are ze foucking Revolutionary Front of Afghanistan. A.R.F.: Ouai... JOSEPHINE: Splitterrrs. A.R.F.: Splitterrrs... FRANCIS: And the Populaire Revolutionary Front of Afghanistan. A.R.F.: Ouai. Ah, ouai. Splitterrrs. Splitterrrs... LORRAINE: And ze Afghan Revolutionary Front. A.R.F.: Ouai. Splitters. Splitters... RENE: A what? LORRAINE: Ze Afghan Revolutionary Front. Splitterrrs. RENE: We are ze Afghan Revolutionary Front! LORRAINE: Bah non. I sought we were ze Populaire Afghan Revolutionary Front. RENE: Afghan Revolutionary Front! C-huh. FRANCIS: What-ever 'appened to ze Populaire Afghan Revolutionary Front, Rene? RENE: ee iz over zhere. A.R.F.: Splitterrr! GOLIATHE: [pant pant pant] Ooh la la. Ooh la la. I-- I zink I-y-am about to 'ave a... cardiaque a-rrest. Ooh la la. Ooh la la. SPECTATEUR: Absolutely drreadfool. Mmm. LE CROWD: [cheering] RENE: Oui, frere! A-ha ha. A what iz your name? BERTRAND: Bertrand. Bertrand Ahmed. RENE: We may 'ave a leettle job for you, Bertrand.

Stick them in whatever charity box is on the counter, I believe that is their intended purpose. Now I am not saying I am a paragon of virtue. I guess this could be a room 101 thing too. Men have it so easy, they just take change handed to them and put in pocket, leaving before the next person gets extremely impatient. Perhaps the rate determining step is the obligatory check in the pocket whilst the hand is there to ensure everything is present and correct . We on the other hand have to fiddle around with purses and bags, leaving little time to separate the wheat from the chaff thus ending up with zillions of the dull brown coins mixed in with the shiny silver ones and the nuggets. Leaving no time to feel remotely charitable with our shrapnel. This of course is not helped by the fact that so far in the French-speaking world I find that the cashiers don't wait until you have finished packing to serve the next customer who incidentally has been standing on your heels the whole time you've been queueing up. Thankfully chip and pin lets you control when the cashier can serve the next person, much to their disgust and gallic huffs. It also circumvents the copper paradox.

Happy birthday Lawro, ATJ, Bou, VSBfH and SS

To take Lardy's approach - I have 27 within 2 miles In Croydon, I've got 30 within two miles. It'd probably be higher if the BNP was a little more radical... ARRRRGH I got the dreaded 0 miles!!!! Don't know the racist though unless of course he lives in the house with the swastika on the roof and the extra large gas oven in his garden? Did you finish that outside shower block you were working on Welsh?

Who's going to be the first to admit 0 miles? My old address came close, under 400 yards. I'll be back at Christmas, perhaps I'll take up carol singing. Nothing like a squawking nuisance outside INSERT POSTCODE HERE.

Although virtually unknown in life, Alexandros Grigoropoulos's death was arguably more significant than that of an old, famous actor. Depends if Obama has any plans to visit Alabama between now and the 31st.

Hallelujah! I'd like to put reopened threads into room lovely. Thanks LG!

I'd like to put closed room 101 threads into the depths of gloom too. Where can the likes of Windsor or myself bitch, moan and be generally sarky without such a place?

13 = S on the A F stripes on the American flag Surely not? After the previous argument, American v US citizen.... Anyway, to make things as simple as possible - you are outside the room to which the door is closed, you cannot see under the door for fear of snake bites and the switches are in front of you in the same place you are to sod about with. When sodding about with is finished you hav the right to open aforementioned door to make the final decision. See Honez spoiler for clues!