Monoclinic

He was clearly lost by I'd say just over 50 miles (too far to the west). Where he comes from the men have no balls and wield their penises (peni?) on their heads. Alternatively, (sticking with the lost theory) he could have had an accident down the docks with a burly jack tar. A few seconds with wiki yields a more sensible suggestion. It's worrying amazing to what, ahem, lengths people go to in writing random wikipedia articles. WARNING DISTURBING IMAGES OF WATCH STRAP MARKS WITHIN. NSFW.

custard creams were edible...

I must not drink wine on a school night. I must not drink wine on a school night. I must not drink wine on a school night. I must not drink wine on a school...

Sorry, I closed the poll form or broke the internet or something. Hopefully the poll is now there.

Not sure whether it's Anne or Pompey going on the list, however she has been banned from driving. She's not the first, and she won't be the last Mr Mellor!

I prefer Master debater and Extravacant mind.

Ah, so you are a pillow boy then? What a fantastic oppertunity you've come across. Is it dry clean only?

Libby from Neighbours has alledgedly landed herself in hospital after a flight. What actually shocked me is that the article said Five's Neighbours. When did the BBC, student staple, day time soap move channels? I thought it was an institution. I must have been away too long.

Got 34 and 1/3 years

Dead

For f**k's sake, that's two days in a row my dinner has nearly made a return journey. Just take a minute to genuinely and seriously imagine in your mind's eye eating a spunky custard cream - go on, really imagine it, imagine the taste, the smell, the texture - and I defy you not to feel at the very least slightly nauseous. I hate custard creams too LB. Could explain why they're always a "granny's favourite"

A limited edition custard cream would help those who have a zinc deficiency as zinc is required in sperm production. Seems a bit of a vicious cycle though, as deficiency probably arises through an over acquaintence with Rosie Palmer. (I decided work time was not the best time to search for a more scientific link, sorry!)

Happy birthday Windy! "No Banshees cream, I don't know where you got our number from but you simply cannot come to Windy's party, even if you do promise to eat the biscuit."

Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Life is but a dream.

Probably having a few beers, that's what I used to do at 16 You clearly had too much pocket money to do your drinking in a pub. 16 year olds should be down the park (cathedral grounds in my case) with whatever goes for 20/20, Diamond White or Cinzano (sorry, we were from Winchester) these days, not at the bar!

Was Scotland in the final? I must have missed something. No, none of the Brit teams qualified - but as I often go to Spain over the summer, I rooted for them and was overjoyed when they won. If Scotland ever get to the final, I'll be on such a bender you'll never hear from me again. You've made my day, even if you are a leg pulling poster disguised as a guest, either way perhaps you'll be staying for a wee while yet eh? Frequency of qualifying: Likelihood of winning:

Déjà-vu? Alongside the more traditional signs of the/an approaching Armageddon such as war, famine, pestilence and death we should be considering traffic accidents and rapid transport. Personally I think they forgot the X-factor and Simon Cowell. Anyway, more annoyingly it is misleading, nowhere on this "countdown" site does it give a firm time, which I find irritating. I mean I'd like to know if God's penciled in his diary total world destruction for next week then I can forgo doing my laundry.

Punch drunk? Edit - sorry the Beeb changed the link!

I believe as part of her rehabilitation, her psychiatrist gets to spend at least one night in Corby. Perhaps she'll receive a Corby trouser press to dismantle? (Sorry, it's the whole episode, couldn't find the clip)

David Harts listed on Wikipedia don't - currently - include our croaking man. So, no CPDP points, then. Well, he is listed on Wikipedia, it's just there are no details about him. A Wiki Red Entry is, I believe, the official term. It's amazing how wikipedia has gone from open derision on the DL to the authorative source of all things truthful. Wiki's my new friend for disputes. I am currently trying to introduce this word to the Académie Française. Someone insisted on correcting me each time I call the machine that so I decided to make the word more official and it appears to have been accepted (unless there is some anal wikiist out there about to sabotage my efforts, plus those of a collegue!). I can't take the credit, the word came with me from Belgium and to be frank I'd probably call it a sonicator in English too which is probably also wrong. It's the new "my dad's stronger than your dad" routine. [/end of geekness]

Well it won't be able to get back. Five minutes after arriving the UFO will be up on bricks and I bet it'll have difficulties finding a garage with the right spare parts. Chavlien

And what with everyone having at least 50 pseudonyms, that leaves you as Banshees cream, me as er Banshees cream and the poll completely waged between himself and er his other self?

As long as we are running out of a convenient energy source, the longer I have a job. (and yes DDT, the word Nano is involved!). If the polar ice caps do melt away revealing land masses (well antartica anyway) then I bet they'll be straight in there with the pipelines. F*ck any treaties. Whilst I'm at it, I'm on the side of global warming, as in it is happening and it is a problem. As to why there is evidence of events similar to those attributed to global warming that have occured prior to the industrial revolution could I suggest solar variations over the centuries or perhaps undocumented volcanic eruptions, like Krakatoa. (This might be entire speculative crap on my part, but I can't be arsed to google it) Or maybe, in fact, the aborigines were very technologically advanced and pumped lots of CO2, NOx and SOx into the atmosphere for centuries. They just conveniently fell into a "dark age" on sight of HMS Endeavour and buried all the evidence under Uluru. (This of course is true, I'm off to write the wikipedia page as we speak, or read)

He was however, well known for 'making it up, as he went along'. It has since been proven that it is spiders, not bees. I'd seriously consider just having four years left of planet Earth as we know it, if it meant no spiders. When can we send in the exterminators? Great thread DDT - I think we may be on the verge of proving Clive Dunn is a cockroach.