Monoclinic

I wonder if you can get conjoined kilts, and what would you not wear underneath them?

Scot, I'm glad to hear you don't find me in the remotest bit funny, oh and I never knew Bob Holness was that way inclined.

I'll look forward to it. I'll provide the saucisson and fromage. Shall I get in another bottle of Pastis, are you old enough to drink yet? On second thoughts Best not, probably not a good idea to mix with your meds.

So which mod has drawn the short straw to come to France to arrest me for crimes against the population of Austria and David Guest?

Now I'm confused, I thought Scot was your brother. Are you really sure you are not conjoined? When was the last time you checked? Monoclinic, Scottish people are always known as Scots. My brother's name is also Scot. I learn something new everyday, does this mean people from Germany are called Germs and people from Burkino Faso Burks? Does anyone in your family come from Burkino Faso perchance? Ah okay, incest fun for all the family, so they say in Austria. Whatever floats your boat I guess. Do you have another brother called Ned? By the way sanity is relative, I think some of your relatives might well be insane.

Now I'm confused, I thought Scot was your brother. Are you really sure you are not conjoined? When was the last time you checked?

Er forgive me if I am wrong but surely they have always believed in ET life, ET being not of this Earth and the Heavens being er where one goes for eternal life. I've said a few hail Maryports for good measure ;-)

Dagnamit, I was trying to find an oh so vaguely related link about the Isle of Sheppey but failed. It was along the lines of chavscum.co.uk which also seems to have aptly fallen into decline, either that or I forget the actual site, however you get the idea. It was an unbiased (written by those fortunate to have obtained the relevant visa to become ex-swampies) review of the island and its attractions. I must admit to taking a detour once on the way to Canterbury to see what all the fuss was about. The only thing I remember is the breathtaking Kingsferry (one or two words?) bridge. Isn't she a beauty? It is probably quite ironic therefore that Which puts an altogether different edge on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slag_cement IMHO. Cheers CR for the little bit of Morrisey that's now going through my head btw (this is a good thing, don't worry!) [/end of tangent]

Glad to hear The Island's doing a thriving business. Spent many a while over there it being so close to my homeland. A few good nights out in Cowes week too, highly recommended. From one riviera to another. Just come back from a half working, half holiday affair on the Cote d'azur. Very nice it is too (obviously not a patch on Bomo, Oostende or Shanklin!). Celebrity (dead or otherwise) count at Cannes, zero (thankfully). Squid count, at least 12. Unfortunately they were all in formaldyhyde at the oceanography museum in Monaco. Bulls killed, zero. (I almost caught myself buying a ticket to the bull fight at Nimes, luckily my sense of right and wrong came back to me in the queue, I just got caught up in the festival atmosphere.) Strange old men showing me their postcard collection whilst waiting for train, one. And so forth.

The next Cat Stevens?

and Portsmouth & Cardiff City, surely? Maybe just Cardiff City and West Brom. I am thinking of taking a little inspiration from xperteleven and sending over that drinks salesman to Fratton Park, just before the big day, so that West Brom have to take their place.

I don't get the joke I'm afraid. I didnt think you would All these holidays are obviously taking their toll. I still don't get it. Perhaps it's because we tend to say Saaafamton in the least number of syllables possible. 'Hampton sounds like that posh seaside place they go to in Sex in the City. Well, at least we can try to get the best championship pitch award, best singers and any other naffness. One thing is for certain, we have long past the stage of best financially managed club. Although that probably was our ultimate downfall and Lowes lack of vision in the spending department. I believe Mandaric said something along the lines that he'd spent more on petty cash than Lowe spends on our players. Must have a Scottish gene. "You tell me if there is anyone else in football by the name of Rupert?" Souness

Not at all Monkey, my sweet. I am somewhat satisfied that the Hampton did indeed stay up ( in joke for Cockneys) as had they been relegated I would have felt you pain. There is little pain worse than seeing the team you love go down. Hey, Rupert will be back next season, so I hear, see he wasnt that bad after all!! I don't get the joke I'm afraid. We need Rupert back like a whore needs the clap, unfortunately it's just one of those shitty inevitable outcomes. Surely there's got to be someone out there to buy their (Lowe and Wilde) 46% worth of the shares? I'm no economist but I'm assuming that a Saints share can't be worth that much these days and what with the credit crunch (which can apparently be blamed for everything from the price of elbow grease to other known solvent(cy) issues.) Although I should really be putting the credit crunch in room lovely as I'm getting more pounds for my Euro (well, that should be the case if any of last months salary makes way back across the channel and not be spent on jollies to the coast) How much is Timmy Mallet worth these days?

Faire le pont. Glorious sunshine, I'm guestimating 25+ degrees centigrade and plenty of days to enjoy it. Not only last Friday did we "faire le pont" after May day but this week is another three day affair. With VE day on Thursday and Pentecote on Monday it would be just rude not to faire le pont, making this weekend a five day break! (and a four day week to follow). Vive la France!

I never doubted Southampton for a second. Did I?

Happy birthday HJT! I bet you don't even feel half your age ;-) I trust you graciously refused a telegram from Bettie!

Looks like the Dunn campaign is working. Already at 8 votes before I added my own!

Oh well at least that's the syphillis cured!

As tasty as this sounds, unfortunately I was unable to follow the recipe, as my stove struggled to get my oil to the requisite 375 degrees C. This does seem to be a little on the warm side, seeing as it's past the melting point of zinc, close to the melting point of aluminium and I'd be unable to test whether I've reached it or not, due to the mercury in my thermometer having just boiled. Oh, hang on, those were in imperial US measurements... Now, if I could just find an online converter to tell me how long a US minute is. [geekalert] honez, honez, honez, I'm sorry to have to be a... now let me see what is the word I search, ah yes pedant, however the melting point of zinc is in fact a shade under 420 °C. Whilst erring on the side of pedantism, I feel it is my duty to clarify that the melting point of aluminium is ca. 660 °C. Of course this all depends on how we define close, if we are talking in relation to the melting point of tungsten then yes the mp of Al is close to that of the recipe! So as long as we are not dealing with Kelvins (in which case 375 K being a little over the boiling point of water would pose little problems to your domestic apparatus), you could cook your squid in a stainless steel pan (NON Teflon coated - melting point issues ). As for the oil, here there might be a problem. I'm not an organic chemist and thus the concept of watching a reaction reflux for 5 hours has long since passed me by, but 375 °C is probably too hot for mineral or paraffin oil (both suitable for human use I believe, see chronic constipation), you could always invest in a heating mantle and you'll be needing some thermocouples, for instance, to verify you've acquired the correct temperature before you sauté your squid. Bon appétit (and no, I don't know the melting points of elements by heart, I just knew there had been a bit of artistic underestimation!) Another little zinc fact for all you factoids out there, there is a high concentration of zinc in semen: perhaps there is a link between zinc deficiency and blindness the catholics have failed to pounce upon?

I am what is known as a little distraught, yes. Trying to learn a bit of Welsh for their special day. Any suggestions how I translate "you lucky bunch of skate w******"? (Failing that the translation of either c**** or f****** are perfectly acceptable). I can't actually imagine what is worse, the possibility of seeing Hartlepol or Bon Jovi at St. Marys. Seeing as our last two matches (Baggies and Blades) are against teams in promotion battles I am certain that we will be in contention for the best stadium in League One award next year, to complement our best championship pitch award this year.

Oh right. Then the answer you are searching for is 11.045 +/- 0.0053 %

I think you'll find that of people who die in prison, approximately 100% of them die in prison. Likewise, I think the percentage of people who die in prison compared with people dying in general on this planet will be very negligible. (Though we might have to exclude Peruvian prisons as these seem like microcosms of society anyway, where most things are possible) I hope that your question has been duly answered.

Mods feel free to delete, I guess google images is not always good clean fun.