Terminator

I generally agree that quality has no relation to expenditure. If the extra money is used to add better realism/authenticity to a programme....I'm all for that. The independent TV companies can't believe they eyes/bank accounts that the public are even prepared to tune in and switch off for these banal reality programmes whose aim is to ridicule the confined morons, who believe that "this is the moment". If they can get away with this fodder now, what's around the corner? "Day 567 at Broadmoor, the Yorkshire Ripper has been tasked with performing Michael Jackson's Thriller routine or the rest of the wing will be on half rations". Hang on, I'd tune into that....

So what's happened today, Max? "Jade woke up to an empty bed, but didn't mind as Tweed was on errands that night for her...apparently, she isn't happy unless he's drunk/angry/off his head to start her "perfect day". She went for number ones and twos during the day, shaved the few persisting hairs, took tablets and had sustenance...and waited for Tweed to shake himself awake and head out on another errand for her. A marriage made in heaven. I'll elaborate for an extra £10 million". * Insightful as ever, Max. * Not an attributable quote

Would anyone notice that hobbit if he standing?

Not really sure Mengele would help his brain, but he'd at least have blue eyes and great teeth, were Mengele given the opportunity.

Twelvetrees? Aren't you just outside Sevenoaks?

No. (I was at the members' concert at Indigo2 three months ago).

(Tweed): I am yours, and ever shall it be. So no future woman in your life in that case? Hmmm, I wonder if he'll wake up, the morning after the funeral, alone...

Aged 27 with an avatar like that???? You must be Benjamin Button.

Is this a Banshee Screams' "zzz-mail"?

1.30 Cousin Vinny 3/1 (£50 to win) Nowhere 2.05 Kalahari King 12/1 (£10 E/W) close 2nd 2.40 Millenium Royal 9/1 (£10 E/W) Nowhere. 3.20 Binocular 15/8 (£200 win) close 3rd * 4.00 Lami 9/4 (£100 win) a 2nd, more fishy than a Goody kebab..... 4.40 Quevega 5/2 (£100 win) winner * Luckily, I added an E/W bet on Punjabi for teh same race and it came in at 22/1....phew! There were some fantastic fights to the finish today and the highlights are on Channel 4 tonight. I don't think I've ever seen a better run than Wichita Linesman's win in the 2.40pm....phenomenal. (McCoy will probably get fined for overuse of the whip.)

Perhaps she never realised her wig had slipped over her face..

I was referring to these tests - which are far harder to fail than to pass.

I thought Mr Fenton was dead. I used to see him occasionally in Battersea/Clapham while he was in Eastenders (although I never paid attention to that tosh). He does look well for a gentleman of his years (83 next month).

Well I'm on Level 2 for both numeracy and literacy. But I was too thick to find where on the site it tells you what Level 2 means. Someone with a lot of time on their hands could deliberaltely make loads of mistakes and probably still pass Level 1. It's just trying to engage the future McDonalds staff that they can "achieve". Level 2 is not much more than being able to do the same test, but actually using a pen and paper. It's all pointless. There are teenagers who deliberately excluded themselves from school, but as soon as a whiff of money for turning up at classes when they're 15, they can't get there fast enough. Unfortunately, their idiocy is so entrenched, that they feel their attendance is sufficient, disrupt classes and have an unrealistic arrogance about where they really are in the scheme of things. However, the government seems to be happy to pay out this money (and the teaching institutions) just to keep them off the unemployment statistics. These morons are still trying to grapple with the move-on.org.uk test and ARE STRUGGLING TO DEAL WITH LEVEL 1. In my version of a New World Order, I'd identify these dregs of society early on and remove them from the arduous learning curve of primary education. Perhaps McDonalds could start building work-related schools. The mantra could be "Would you like fries with that?". That is all that's required for the majority of McDonalds' staff. Of course, I discount the students who have to do what they can to get through college. For the other workers, I doubt I'd ever see a response here and if so , I'd probably need a lot of help deciphering the txtspk.

You dismiss our "seriously thought out" contributions on this thread as rants? Oh dear...brace yourself for the BS onslought to come..... We are also sick enough to be associated with people you have come on here to rant (and eff and blind) about? All I can say if WELCOME ABOARD. You have found your home.

Is it too late to pick the day she was conceived? I know it makes no sense, I'd just prefer it.

Would it matter if there was? You were given full details of last years meet months in advance because " You really wanted to come".........and you didnt. You were not the only one who did it. I appreciate that circumstances change and situations occour but I managed to make that date clear, with months in between to rearrange or make alternative dates should other things crop up, do a 200+ mile round trip and still be the first one at the bar to greet the arrivals. I wont even go into the efforts made by LB, NAP, LG, Rotten Ali etc to make an even greater effort to, true to their word, attend. You live considerably closer to that Pub than the rest of us and, most importantly of all, it would have been a common courtesy to have PMd me to confirm that you were unable to make it or say "sorry I couldnt attend" either which would have been appreciated in view of the fact that i was the twat who put it all together. Its pretty obvious that nobody else is overly interested in organising one and, in all honesty, why should I? Dia de los Muertos.....phew. On the bright side......8.16pm......you're lucky LFN's response wasn't sent a few hours later.

This really is pissing me off..... I wake up (mid-morning) with a good feeling about the day (especially the last few weeks). All of a sudden, the bbc website has new of Jade Goody on thier home site. Unfortunately, every time I log on.....she's f*cking still here. There was an earlier reference to those US parasites (Oompalumpa Winfrey etc) trying to grab an interview with "Brains of Bermonsey" (I know that area of London well, she could actually fill that role). I hope they do get their wish as this finally will show where Goody's heart/kebab really is. If she only has moments to live, why waste them on interviews when she could spend EVERY last possible moment with her children? As for the cancer reaching her brain, Jade and her mother proved that their brains are COMPLETELY vestigial. Why didn't they just remove her unnnecessary organ and halt the further pervasion of the disease?

I reckon all traffic wardens* should be known as "Mugabe"....it's amazing that people who don't deserve any "power" (like traffic wardens) suddenly feel they have authority and, for once in their seedy, miserable lives can dole out sh*t to people who really are more useful to society. Mugabe's the same. Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. His army chiefs must be well looked after, otherwise why wouldn't they just claim what they are already getting PLUS Mugabe's share. I hope what Mugabe has done are recognised as crimes against humanity before he develops Pinochet Syndrome. postscript: I've just realised this is semi Mugabe/Room 101. * I have never driven, so this is an observation, rather than a chip on my shoulder....it's their smug attitude I abhor.

He did exactly the same at the Clapham snooker club in the 80s and had to protected as he was removed from the club. On the back of this, I arranged an exhibition at the Elephant and Castle and, as a result, had eveyone I sold a ticket asking me if they'd get a refund for a "no show", which was another regular habit of his...the answer was "yes", but it was little more difficult to guarantee he'd not turn stroppy. However, those with reservations said aftewards that it was the best snooker exhibition they'd ever seen. I suppose that's what being mercurial is all about....brilliant or shite (as a person, more than a player.

Strewth, ya call that a barb?

Probably a brothel...

In a difference sense of the word, I wonder if he's grooming himself for possible Jacko warm-up spot at the O2?