Terminator

On an aside, some medieval Irishman (can't think of his name, but if pushed will provide it) saw a vision including reference clues to every sucessive pope until "the end of the papacy". Apparently, the current pope is predicted as the penultimate pope before the final pope takes "centre stage". Meanwhile, back in reality................

I do recall a 6ft+ woman at work who was so fat, her hips used to brush each side of the corridor wall when she walked. (I had the misfortune to follow her up a flight of stairs - slowly - while she was wearing tight leggings. it was like two huge sacks of potatoes rubbing against each other.) We all thought she had some glandular/health problems, until someone went into her office at lunchtime. She had a whole cooked chicken on her desk for lunch, after that there was no sympathy for the pig.

Welcome aboard. What better way to break ice than starting with a joke.

Missing French Chef's Body Found in Freezer, Jean-Francois Poinard's Ex-Lover Charged

The Great British Public seem to have made their feelings towards Jordan quite clear. I'm surprised that nobody thought to mention that reprehensible bastard Kilroy-Silk or the equally loathsome Nick Griffin. Or the equally disgusting Jade Goody. Yeah, completely forgot about her! Everyone and his dog hated her until she was dying, then it was as if she were some sort of paragon of virtue instead of the ignorant, loud mouthed, graceless bully that she was. People are terrible hypocrites! A similar reaction took place when MJ died. My heart sinks (even further) when that useless piece of blubber gets mentioned. It should be as unlucky to mention the "Bermondsey Bitch" as thespians naming "the Scottish Play".

Still, if the chemo fails, he could always pick up the odd Dalek voice-overs...

Footballer held over nightclub 'glassing'

No, I live in a huge city. & Canada's better than where you live. Wow a HUGE city, pig farm more like.Only good thing that came out of canada was Bill Werbernuik and that just about says it all. Wow...living proof that even an outright idiot* has heard of the late Canadian snooker player.... * its truest medical definition,ie 1. A foolish or stupid person. 2. A person of profound mental retardation having a mental age below three years and generally being unable to learn connected speech or guard against common dangers. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive. (thefreedictionary.com)

No, I live in a huge city. & Canada's better than where you live. Wow a HUGE city, pig farm more like.Only good thing that came out of canada was Bill Werbernuik and that just about says it all. Whoops...."flood control error". Please see below...

Today the world is a better place.... Ian Wright axed by Live From Studio Five

It's no c*nt. It's a billion+ times worse. I hope it smothers under all the grease over it's face.....the smug gobshite.

528-pound woman who bore child dies in Romania Who'd have thought an extra 9 pounds would do the trick....

The parents will have no problem putting the kid up for adoption in Austria...

Aye, Nickilson is already on the radar at MPFC Towers though he is the kind of 'death row/famous for being famous' type ruled out by some deadpool scoring. Mebbe if he had the gumption to write a The Diving Bell and The Butterfly stylee work by blinking his eyes..........I mean, what else is he doing with his days? Wouldn't it be good if someone who posted here had insider info on him? ...over to Banshees.....

I suppose it does...if it helps keep your lower intestine "north of the sphincta".

May I suggest a giant golf club? He could simply be putted into the hole.

It was a running gag in the Bottom Live tours that Rik would forget his lines and get crucified by Ade Edmonson....these predated the Quad bike accident. Although the accident probably hasn't helped.

Hang on a minute.......she's a geordie. She's probably carrying around latent emphysema, chronic alcohol addiction and any form of disease associated with the North East. Malaria is probably the least of her worries.

How about a badge for those of us who don't have any "issues"? That's all very well, but able athletes are barred from entering the Paralympics. Talk about double standards..... I forgot....these standards only apply in one direction...

...but if they go to the bathroom, the fries they're serving you would go cold....

Harryhausen turns 90 today, the BFI throws a big shindig to celebrate. Seems to be in a wheelchair but otherwise in decent fettle, in case you were expecting his motion to stop any time soon. I hope Ray H does't apply his stop-start animation to his wheelchair motion.......

I was disappointed when Torres appeared at the World Cup, looking like Ronaldo. Now it looks like he's playing just like him....

I suppose I could donate some vodka and fags.....