Death Watch Beatle

LAST CALL FOR NEW MEMBERS OF THE DEATH LEAGUE! We will be starting a new season very shortly, so if want a chance of winning that beautiful gold trophy get in touch in the next day or so. DWB

Thanks for that - it was close at the end - only goals being the difference. Well done all and thanks for making the Death League a success in it's first season. We can get Season 2 under way as soon as you like. Perhaps games in a week or two - you can buy and sell before then of course. DWB

Ah, the panic posting. Excellent stuff. DWB

All down to the last game - and if the Kickers win the title I'll hear none of this "funny how the admin bloke won, eh?" nonsense OK? DWB

Rehab is for quitters! DWB

How much are you offering. Hold on. Haven't we played you twice already? DWB

The four applications pending have now been admitted into the league - so the computer says anyway. So, welcome aboard and good luck in the coming Season 2. If you can have a couple of friendlies amongst yourselves to get a feel for the league. Two more players would be excellent. Mr. Tudor, can we rely on your application soon? Anyone else care to have a go? DWB

The next match is your chance to take the top spot again. I've got a tough one against Odstock, you have a match against Devon, who hasn't logged on since the 9th of January. Could there be a thrashing in the pipeline? DWB

Another one from YouTube. Tottenham's most influential fan. I was in tears at the end. Excellent stuff! If you like it there is more in the series. DWB

So the Kickers are top of the shop - and it has nothing to do with running the show I can assure you! Can I just say the AtJ's press releases are becoming the stuff of legend. They make me laugh out loud. Just a shame he is so ashen-faced and tight-lipped all the time. DWB

You're top of the league, what do you expect? Of course, if it had been me I would of spiked the drinks. Far more civilised. Of course, this means you drinks will now get spiked and you will suspect the Kickers - but of course it wasn't the Kickers, just someone trying to put us in the frame. You see? Of course you do. DWB

There is some more talk about old mountaineers here. DWB

That would be me then. Any name requests go to me as Admin, I press the OK button and that names comes up on the next youth talent offered to you. I have had a couple of good requests recently. Obviously they have got to be downright rude to get the 'no' treatment. HTH DWB OK, so when do I get the player I wanted? I think, on average, a youth talent gets coughed up by the computer once every 2-3 weeks. However, your man could turn out to be a bit lame, and you may reject the offer. If so, request the name again for the next youth offering. DWB I don't want a youth player, I want one called Gunnar Leatherface You're buggered I'm afraid old boy - all squad and transfer players are computer generated. DWB Then how did you get players called Bobby Picket and Christopher Lee? They were both youth players. Check out their stats. Very young and not very good. But given time they will become world-beaters. I already OKed your Leatherface name, so you need to wait for a youth player like I got. Does this make things any clearer? DWB

Still on the subject of mountaineering. Last weeks edition of the excellent programme "Coast" featured the chimney like stack of "The Old Man of Hoy" in the Orkneys. This pile of rock has been around for about 400 years, but it took until 1966 for it to be climbed by Chris Bonington. But get this, it took him and his team THREE days to get up it. I think the pair climbing it on the programme took five hours. Perhaps Chris Bonington could be the last of the mountaineering heroic types. DWB

That would be me then. Any name requests go to me as Admin, I press the OK button and that names comes up on the next youth talent offered to you. I have had a couple of good requests recently. Obviously they have got to be downright rude to get the 'no' treatment. HTH DWB OK, so when do I get the player I wanted? I think, on average, a youth talent gets coughed up by the computer once every 2-3 weeks. However, your man could turn out to be a bit lame, and you may reject the offer. If so, request the name again for the next youth offering. DWB I don't want a youth player, I want one called Gunnar Leatherface You're buggered I'm afraid old boy - all squad and transfer players are computer generated. DWB

With the 6 teams we already have plus the 4 on the waiting list, we would have to run a single division next season. That means a 9 week (18 game season) - which is a bit of a long haul, so between now and then, it would be most beneficial to all to have 2 more teams signed up to get two divisions of 6 teams. So if Handrejka and halleluyahjohntudor follow up their interest by signing up that would be excellent and I am sure we would all me most grateful. There is still room for more though, so as usual, drop me a PM or reply to this thread if you want to sign up for Season 2. DWB

That would be me then. Any name requests go to me as Admin, I press the OK button and that names comes up on the next youth talent offered to you. I have had a couple of good requests recently. Obviously they have got to be downright rude to get the 'no' treatment. HTH DWB OK, so when do I get the player I wanted? I think, on average, a youth talent gets coughed up by the computer once every 2-3 weeks. However, your man could turn out to be a bit lame, and you may reject the offer. If so, request the name again for the next youth offering. DWB

Popoff - have sent you an invite. Live Chat turned into a Death League recruitment exercise tonight. Monoclinic has signed up, Handrejka has promised to join and hallejluyajohntudor thought it was a bit too footbally or something. DWB

That was a bit touch and go against Dyslexics today. Only managed to get the equaliser in Manchester United time. Time to knock Odstock off the top when we meet them on Sunday! DWB

More on his surgery and marriage breakdown here. Not life threatening but his refusal to give up drink on the doctor's advice is hopeful. DWB

Well the Dyslexics are early doors leaders of the Death League, proving you don't need to spell to play football - but of course if you follow football you knew that already. If you need another reason for signing up for Season 2 you get to read (and write) the clubs press releases, which, if I do say so myself, are highly entertaining. DWB

News of the Screws just love this kind of stuff. If even half of it is true, suicide wouldn't be ridiculous. DWB

LG - your Gravediggers are now on the list also. That will give us 9 teams for season two - providing we have no fallers. Could do with 1 or 2 or 3 more. Any takers? DWB

Yep, I see you. DWB

I can confirm that Athletico Madron are on the Death League waiting list. I can't OK your application until the closed season. FF and LG - I have sent you both a PM with instructions on how to get yourselves on the waiting list. I will confirm with you when your team arrives there. Anyone else - this would make nine teams - and I don't like odd numbers, so would someone else like to join? Or three of you perhaps, 'cause then we could have two leagues with relegation and stuff! DWB