Death Watch Beatle

I would just like to add that I haven't a clue what Fairport Convention sound like, my interest is purely morbid. DWB

Sorry about the confusion there. Two trains of thought going at once. The boggling comment is for Reaper, 'cause he seemed to be doing a lot of that the last couple of weeks, what with Phil Spector's gun and Stephen Hawking's tone of voice. In answer to your question BeeGee Boy, the Torygraph did indeed print poor old Dave's obituary before he was dead. It was a couple of years ago now, and he was playing a gig in the Midlands, and his reply to hearing the news he was dead was "it's not the first time I've died in Coventry", or words to that effect. So, is Swarb the first and only person to have passed the obituary test without having to go the extra mile and die? We should be told! DWB

Reaper Something else to make your mind boggle, after the Spector and Hawkings conundrums. Swarbrick still manages to do some singing after his 2 tracheotomies! DWB

The prof. has just been released from hospital, so it looks like he could hang on for a bit longer yet. I think he will be a strong candidate for next year providing the mystery attacks and the bouts of pneumonia continue. DWB

The latest rumour is that Huntley is to be moved to another prison, Wakefield I think, which is full of people similar to Huntley, i.e. child killers, kiddy fiddlers and the like, because where he is at the moment, he is being singled out for 'special treatment' by some of the other inmates. The authorities hope he will not be such an obvious target with these others around him. Why are they moving him? 'Special Treatment' is probably just what the doctor ordered! DWB

Very Cutting! Like yourself, I just 'happened' to come across the Mail last week. (Honest). If I do buy a paper (rarely) it is the Torygraph - which, to be fair, is pretty hopeless at reporting Marlon and Emlyn stories. I then have the choice of Mail, Metro or Mirror from my colleagues. Why am I justifying myself to you? Anyway, I will now have a quick glance in passing at Marlon's picture. DWB

I thought we were talking about our old mate Biggsy!? DWB

UPDATE A half page article about Emlyn appeared in the Daily Mail on Friday Feb 6 2004. I highlight the following points from the text for your information. - The 56 year old was diagnosed with a brain tumour last year after collapsing at the end of a charity football match. - He has had 5 hours of surgery and a course of radiotherapy in an attempt to shrink the growth. - He now faces chemotherapy but has pledged to fight the disease for the sake of his family (This kind of fighting talk usually means its worse than its made out to be). - The treatment has stopped the growth of the cancer (but not killed it off). - Simon Rogers, cancer specialist at the Walton Centre for Neurology and Neurosurgery said: "Patients are not given aggressive chemotherapy unless they really need it. With brain cancer the cure rate is not particularly good." Can I just congratulate Arnold on his original information from way back in November. The Daily Mail seemed to think they had a scoop yesterday. DWB

Dear Moderating Team Time is Short! This bloke could die at any time, and I am still not armed with the advice of the council. I could be made a laughing stock at work, running a death pool and not being clear on how it actually works! Come on chaps - how much coverage does a death need in newspapers etc. to qualify as a score (or missed opportunity). Chhouk Rin could bring down the whole pool - and its only February! Desperately Yours DWB

. . . and Archie Gemmill's goal against Holland. Only the squads World Cup song could be better! DWB

I'm more of an ideas man, I leave the research to you . . . but I must admit in hindsight it was a bit lame. 1/10 Will do better next time! DWB

Talking about his largest organ, in the same report it said that a while back he broke his nose walking into a wall at his home - there's a joke in there somewhere, but I just can't think of it right now. DWB

... or the make-up artist was having an off day? DWB

Good call - I forget he hadn't hung up his spurs yet. Anymore for anymore? DWB

I also saw the photo of Jerry last week - and I must admit he doesn't look too chipper. The article did go on to say that Jerry was losing the pounds now and expected to be back doing cabaret in the very near future. Let me see ... bad health generally + large weight lose in a small amount of time + stressful job = massive heart attack very soon! (Probably). DWB

The thought had occured to me, but I hoped nobody would notice this flaw in my info. Perhaps Phil let Stevie have a grope of his weapon in order to prove a point? Or perhaps cold steel shoved into his temple was enough to convince him? Any other ideas anyone? DWB

I'm with Pixie on this one. Spector is undeniably an odd bloke and, I think, more than capable of topping himself. If you look at his track record over the years, he has a history of firearms-related japery including pulling guns on The Ramones and Stevie Wonder amongst others. As I understand the situation, he is out on bail at the moment, so has the capability of getting the tools together for a big ending. As we all know suicides are almost impossible to predict, but I think Phil is one to watch in the near future - less so if he gets porridge, as he might get put on suicide watch. DWB

I read that Mugabe has been flown to South Africa for another major operation. Does this mean that for once he might buy the farm rather than nick it off the owner? Could we be on target for the first success of the year? DWB

I have just spoken to a friend who knows Patrick Moore. The main health problem he has seems to concern his spine, which in turn has affected the use of his hands - this means he can't hold a telescope, write music or play that xylophone thing (not all bad news then). This makes Patrick a miserable chap 'cause he can't do what he likes doing - but the general outlook for him isn't too bad considering age etc., so perhaps not the banker for 2004 we all anticipated. DWB

According to the Mirror, it is suggested that his wife inflicted a cut to his throat, broke his hand and numerous other wounds - she denies this, but the army of carers he has to help him confirm that she does attack him. Hope this helps. DWB

Seeing as I only joined ten minutes ago, the following Deathlist suggestions may be old friends to the regulars, but see what you think. Frank Carson - Couldn't go on Get Me Outta Here due to health probs - not sure what the probs were, can anyone enlighten me? Michael Barrymore - This bloke has got to be on the edge - only plastic spoons at dinner these days I reckon. Patrick Moore - If he pulls his trousers up any higher it could be strangulation by belt. Why do old men pull their trews up past their nipples? Alex Ferguson - unless he packs in Man. Utd. He hasn't looked well for a few years now. Death Watch Beatle