Slave to the Grave

She's right you know. Raisin uterus pie. Gary Lineker appears to be a fan too.

Happy Birthday Pooka. Have a lovely day Wrong age and name (of course you might be called Lindsey) but for some reason this cake reminded me of you.

What a dreadful patio!

Ding dong.

It's too bloomin' cloudy and pissing with rain. Arse.

Ok, at this very moment in time: U-turn (Lily) - AaRon Plug in Baby - Muse Last Request - Paulo Nutini It will have changed by tomorrow morning I'm sure.

Happy Birthday Mr Odstock, have a lovely day

I had him on my DDP team for 2 years running and despite the Wiki entry a lot doubt was cast about him still being in the land of the living. I meant to keep him on again this year, probably out of bloody-mindedness but forgot in my rush to get my team in on New Years Eve.

Find out what cheese you are. I'm Neufchatel. A traditional soft, white table cheese from Normandy in France. Neufchâtel smells and tastes of mushrooms. It has a dry, velvety rind, and a grainy texture. When mature, Neufchâtel develops a bitter, slaty, acrid taste.

Erm....................... it is the amalgamation of the two rude words you mention. I'd suggest that you type 'twunt' into the search facility and draw your own conclusions

Completely agree, outrageous behaviour on the part of Mr Scream.

Happy Birthday Lady Die. Have a lovely day

I thought they were vegetarians. Poor Dwarf. It's sounds so cruel but if Meinhardt Rabbe went fishing one day... Hippos are in fact Exceptionally dangerous The hippo is extremely aggressive, unpredictable and unafraid of humans, upsetting boats sometimes without provocation and chomping the occupants with its huge canine teeth and sharp incisors. Most human deaths occur when the victim gets between the hippo and deep water or between a mother and her calf. I've read descriptions of their ground-rumbling charges--bellowing loudly, swinging their heads like giant sledgehammers, the massive open mouth with slashing teeth and I'm thinking, "This little safari is taking a bit of a bad turn, Elliot."

Happy Birthday to the Trabant. 50 years old today.

Not really a joke, but I didn't know where else to post it, made me laugh anyway. Have a read of some of the worst analogies from US high school essays, as collected by teachers: - He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree. - She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. - She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. - The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t. - McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. - They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth. - John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. - Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. - The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. - He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. - The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. - It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. - He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Brad Pitt! What a shame that Tony Hancock is dead.

TLC, is there something you want to confess?

I was watching that show the other night, but I just can't figure it out. These broads just open suitcases. And by the way Rebecca I truely love your avatar. That woman looks beyond attractive. you should see the british version. its pretty much the same only with less money and a cheaper set. no suitcases, just cheap red cardboard boxes. The French version has lots of girlies wearing 'combat' bikinis.

Lucky old Kurt already has his own thread here. [Topics merged- NAP]

What a superb site. I especially like the squid fight game. When I woke up this morning I never expected my day to include pitting a squid against an alpaca in a fight to the death. I racked up 1340 squid points and defeated 25 foes. Is this a record? I only managed 881 squid points and defeated only 15 enemies. However, I have a Squintelligence qutotient of 145 so I'm obviously brainy rather than brawny in a squid sort of way, a bit of a squid geek I suppose.

Bugger, that was me, forgot to log on . I thought Dave ttG was signed on, it would have sounded better coming from him. 'I'm Banshees Scream and so is my husband' doesn't sound quite right. Incidentally, I haven't voted because I think the poll is too silly for words, but I would have voted no.

That's not a squid it's a haggis.

I dread to think what that might sound like

Happy Birthday Yvonne. Have a lovely day

A muskrat and a mink according to the URL thingies (or whatever they are called). I can't imagine anyone wanting to make a coat out of that particular mink. Edit: I think the second one is actually the muskrat which makes a bit more sense. Nice tash.