No Mere Nosebleed

12 months max. In reality, more like 9 - they'll take another 3 months to work out how to announce it to the people.

The story of Willy Mairesse is indeed rather sad. I guess he'd just about made himself unsaleable as a racing driver after so many off-course excursions - not many people would want to employ someone with his history, even if he was quick. Perhaps Masten Gregory might also have met an early death in a racing car if only he hadn't acquired the amusing habit of baling out just before the point of impact.

Sorry, forgot to sign in before. I think we picked de Cesaris in 87 because he seemed to be a disaster waiting to happen in the 86 F1 c'ship. Perhaps our resident experts can clarify the situation - did he really deCrasharis as often as we imagined? A de C crashed an awful lot early on in his career. He wrote off several McLarens during the 1981 season without injury, thus proving that carbon fibre was a safe material to make racing cars from. Andrea became less and less erratic as his career progressed, and by 1994 was reckoned to be a very good bet to get his car home. It's easy to get a reputation as a 'crasher', but very hard to rid yourself of it. The obvious (well, to me at any rate) driver to mention in the context of being a "crasher" is Ian Ashley, who was nicknamed "Crashley", and not just because it was an obvious pun on his name. "Erratic" is probably a reasonable way of describing his performances in a racing car; bloody quick to be sure but he spent an awful lot of time chasing the scenery. He's spent a rather interesting life since he gave up racing, but seems to be what you might call a survivor. I wouldn't put him on anyone's death list just yet.

You don't want to believe that kind of stuff. First of all, it's propaganda. Secondly, one of his mates is hardly going to come out and announce to the world that Castro is on his way out, is he? No, Fidel will expire this year.

Michael Schumacher is making a good job of playing a twat in the latest Fiat commercial. Nothing new there, then.

Has Lenny died too?

The way things are going in Zimbabwe, it wouldn't surprise me at all if Morgan Tsvangirai didn't see the year out. A car accident (arranged) could well happen.

Any news on how Phil Hill is doing? I'm really, really not wanting him to go - I have a HUGE respect for the guy - but he looked in shocking shape last year.

Writer and ex-barrister Sir John Mortimer is now nearly 84 and evidently not in what you might call peak condition. By his own admission in a short interview with the The Independent on 6 February, "I'm not going to last very long". He's a tough old bugger by anyone's reckoning, but I wouldn't give him more than a year or two.

I don't believe this for one minute. Propaganda, pure and simple. I'm convinced that Castro won't see the year out.

8 litres of fluid drained from his lungs, apparantly. Didn't know that beer accumulated on the lungs.

I'm convinced that Phil's on his way out, but that's probably more hope than anything else. "Hope" because I'm in the mood for a nice state funeral, and also because I'd like to see the Queen's attitude to mourning - will she take the Victoria approach, don black garments on a permanent basis, and cloister herself away for her own duration?

I agree. Those two seem far too healthy for their years and I wouldn't lay any bets on either of them croaking for a good 5 years or so, unless they meet with a nasty traffic accident in the meantime.

aka the Duke of Edinburgh. Getting on a bit now, 86 this year, not in the best of health by all accounts. Prospects? [Merged with existing Prince Philip thread.- NAP]