Mortician
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Posts posted by Mortician
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Can't get going today. Feel hungover but definatly (?) not. Not had a drink for weeks.That'll be why, suggest a quick one (?) at the pub lunchtime and you'll feel right as rain....
On the spyware thing, malevolent little blighters downloaded without your knowledge from the interweb. Download one of the freeware options (even Bill G has a free one on the windows site) and it'll remove any you've got. Can cause slow running or capture and publish key strokes or just embarassing pop ups....
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it's so predictable for americans to predict imperfection about the human condition (yeah, this is probably over the head of ANYONE who would log on to this site)...this (the osmonds) is a wonderful family who in the face of competing with groups from the early 70's who were biting heads off bats said , "we don't even wanna compete with that!"...i saw 40, 000 screaming teenage bitches going crazy for these guys in "72...make fun all you want...they are the reason I got into rock and f**ked your mom and sister....pussies go along with the status quo...real rockers go with their hearts...which is what these guys did...persecute them all you want....your wives got creamy for them way before they settled for your big fat f****n' asses....F**k you....don't be scared to be individual...i f**ked your mom, too!...blah!...Matt
I read your post through a couple of times. It doesn't seem to make too much sense, never mind the grammatical errors. I think you should push off.
Another pack of smarties for the nutter please...
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mmm do you ALL have evil minds and lurk in sewers ?Pretty much yes, although some of us still aspire to move from cess pit to sewer....
Yours in excreta
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I had a terrible row in the pub a few years ago with a woman who told me her child was diagnosed with ADHD. With my usual tact I remarked that I find it hard to tell that disorder from lousy upbringing.Had similar row with my sister-in-law when she started wittering on about e-numbers causing hyperactivity....
Her children being little b*st*rds that never get told off for being little gits is caused by her inattention not a blue smartie once in a while.
Hyperactive child = Underactive parent
ADHD child = Underactive parent with guilt complex
Asbergers Syndrome child = Underactive parent with guilt complex and social worker
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I heard he was making an all-star record to benefit the victims of hurricanes Katrina and Rita.I'm sure the poor black residents of New Orleans will feel overjoyed to have such largesse from a member of the white community....
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Picture the scene, (in)famous man decides to return to public eye.
Travels to London (as if post bombings London tourism had enough problems) and decides to go to Madame Tussauds Waxwork museum (Michael too much plastic already).
Then to avoid controversy he thinks I should go and catch a West End show. Now I've just be acquitted of child molestation and even the jury thought I had an unhealthy interest in young boys - I know - Billy Elliot the Musical that'll be just the ticket!
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Same barber?Perhaps Klaus Barber, the master butcher of Leigh on Sea....
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Maybe she'll get all her internal organs replaced too.Let's hope the donor is Kevin Costner....
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Add another meter to sea level and I'm not so sure. I've read somewhere that if all land ice would melt, the beach would be in Paris. That may be centuries away, but climate trends are that way. In the long run my place will become uninhabitable.The good news is: I won't be around.
regards,
Hein
At least that would stop Parisians having to create their artificial beach on the banks of the Seine every summer -
Mind you lovely city shame about the locals!
Anyway global warming doesn't worry George W - Halliburton are branching out into Oil Rigs to float above Texas in future, and they've got some dandy new boats for the marines working in Baghdad.
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It's time for Sting to give up the ghost, I'm sure if we told him we'd plant him in the rain forest to help the indiginous peoples he'd probably go voluntarily....
Give Trudie a rest from the tantric sex as well.
You've got to admire her stamina, not for putting up with days of sex but living with the pretentious geordie school teacher for so long...
Roxanne put out the red light - no f*ck off it's keeping you out you moaning twunt!
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I've always thought something should be done about those road-side chav-shrines where some twat of a boy-racer has pranged his 205 and the family has lashed the overweight, acne-ridden, drunken dickhead's football shirt to a lampost with a couple of £1.99 bouquets.Perhaps a better and more socially useful approach would be to suspend the body (or bodies if his fu*kwitted mates and tattoed girlfriend were in the car too) from the lampost in some sort of medieval gibbet. Might make his peers think twice before they overtake on the inside at 90 mph....I'm sure that as soon as Burberry start making gibbets they'll do it themselves....
Perhaps we should take the corpses and lash them to the flowers at the petrol station!
Personally I want to be left as a rotting surprise in a classroom cupboard for the school holidays - that should liven up the first day of term.
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"But critics have accused the 89-year-old, who suffers from diabetes, heart problems and mild dementia linked to minor strokes, of exaggerating his health problems to avoid standing trial."Whats there left to exaggerate?
And I can't think of anybody else who may exaggerate symptons in order to gain some sympathy, and perhaps evade justice
Perhaps he's being represented by the same legal team as Ernest Saunders - the only man to be released from prison due to Alzheimers and recover - obviously Guinness is good for you!
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The chilly jocko land climbers are whinging....
Apparently you can no longer climb a mole hill in the Highlands without falling over an erection resembling the Taj Mahal raised by some commoner in memorial of a fallen friend so they want to clear them out.
If we are to be prevented in destroying areas of natural beauty by the cunning use of £1.99 garage flowers - where should we allow people to build their shrines?
So DL'ers, where would you want your memorial, and more importantly who would you like to inconvenience?
Remember irritation in death lasts forever!
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There's a fair chance it would be the USA's voting public.Are you sure?
Jeb's still running Florida, perhaps the idiot brother of the idiot son of an idiot can run and rig his own election this time....
I've more confidence in the Reaper
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How dare you suggest that I go next. I hope to have a long an happy life as a fascist leader. It's a great profession, with excellent security and the pension benefits are generous too. With role models like Mussolini and Hitler how can I go wrong?Oh to find a lamp-post now that summer's here, perhaps Nick you should be using the title Ell Ducky!?
Oh no off he goes back to the bathroom
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Working at a company that was going to the wall very quickly, so gallows humour became the norm with Deathlist offering copious sweepstake capabilities to lighten the mood....
This was back in the mists of 2001 and unlike most of the candidates and my old employer I'm still here!
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Let's hope he's found out that St Peter is black and that he's being tortured in hell by representatives of all creeds, colours and religions.
A day where the gene pool of the United Kingdon took a great leap forward, let's hope Nick Griffin decides to follow his Fuhrer's example!!
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In the spirit of calm debate, a Denver Congressman has suggested that the US should retaliate against any nuclear attack from Islamist fundamentalists by bombing their religious sites...
As Osama wants to bring down the Saudi state and create a new Islamic theocracy across the world, perhaps threatening to bomb the crap out of Saudi Arabia amongst others might not be too clever....
So, who do we think should be in the running to replace George Dubya?
I suggest Tommy would not be a sensible candidate!
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I think a stake through her undead heart is the only chance for her to go.
Bad year for Catholics and Politicians so far - what chance Gerry Adams arriving fast on the rails?
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Interesting attitude, 'We didn't lose the war we just failed to fulfil our commitment to South Vietnam'....
Next we'll have Dubya saying he didn't invade Iraq without cause we were just fulfilling Daddy's commitment to the Saudi Royal Family....
I wonder how many of the families of the 50K US Servicemen killed Vietnam feel the commitment was justified?
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It's not going to happen, even if he was being driven along Dealey Plaza in an open topped car, a headshot would only damage the organ that he uses least....
As for Deadly Dick, just tell him Halleburton shares are in free fall and it should push him over the edge...
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Perhaps having Hayden Characterless play your younger self is enough to drive you to death...
If so JEJ is definitely knackered!
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Transportation to the colonies without all that dilly-dallying around with a trial and evidence, and all that rubbish.And for those of us in the colonies, what worse punishment could there be than being sent back? Yikes!
Whilst visiting the colonies my Aussie cuz spent 20 minutes on his soap box saying that the solution to crime was to send the criminals to a desert island!
I don't think he realised the irony until we pointed out that's how his home town was founded.....
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Ministers are having another pop at trial by jury, claiming that the public are too stupid to understand complex trials.
So esteemed Death Listers we know we're clever enough, what's the best system of justice?
Earthquakes, Tsunamis, Hurricanes, Mudslides
in DeathList Forum
Posted
I always wondered why we don't have aid convoys attached to Journos.
Whenever anything happens the Beeb can have a breakfast tv presenter there with full broadcast capability and make up cart in 24 hours. In New Orleans the locals were forced out but the Beeb remained. When Rita was heading for the coast the Beeb bloke was like Canute at the shore.
Bugger heavy lifting gear, get Kate Adie there with 15 of her mates and Kashmir will be rebuilt, political agreement reached between India, Pakistan and the Kashmiri Separatists by Tuesday afternoon.....