Lord Fellatio Nelson

She is alive and well.

Something very strange has happened to me today. I was accused of being 'sexist' because I called the accuser, a man, a cunt.

Harry has already been on the blower offering a kidney for a return of all their perks. Mercenary c**t.

The sheer warmth eminating from your words are, at this very moment, providing comfort to the rest of the Royal Family.

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Exactly.

Everybody I have seen photographed having the vaccine has had a mask on.......

Wife's best friend asked me how I was going to make my wife go weak at the knees for valentine's? I said I'd hide her arthritis tablets

Finally compromised and allowed my pet on the bed. It was restless for a few minutes then the goldfish finally settled down.

A man on the London underground taught his dog how to play the trumpet. He went from Barking to Tooting in just over an hour.

Got an e-mail saying 'Knock, Knock.' It was a Jehovah's witness working from home.

My hands were shaking so much when I performed my first circumcision, that I got the sack.

He isn't coming out of hospital.

Look at this little gem from that thing, Ian. Sorry to hear that the sister of #JoWhiley is seriously ill with #coronavirus due to an administrative error and she was not vaccinated.Can I offer my deepest apologies to @jowhiley on behalf of the #conservative govt.We have done well,but some glitches still happen sadly. 10:19 PM · Feb 16, 2021·Twitter Web App Posted under his Cecilia Twitter account. A genuine headcase.