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Lord Fellatio Nelson

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Everything posted by Lord Fellatio Nelson

  1. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    Life is a Bastard

    If only!!
  2. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

    You go in and tell them the truth, 3 boxes but only 2 wipers!!!! Its highly unlikely they will crib over a single wiper.
  3. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    Phil Oakey

    Just TELL ME WHEN its all over Toastie.
  4. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    Life is a Bastard

    Well, that may well be true. Is he any good at digging holes?
  5. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    Phil Oakey

    Enough of all these puns!! Its just HYSTERIA now
  6. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    Life is a Bastard

    You want me to pass you down a bigger spade?
  7. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    Life is a Bastard

    The only thing moronic is you. Reread the fucking thread again and get a grasp of its actual intent as opposed to what you have decided to view it as.
  8. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    Life is a Bastard

    Thats one more than I know.
  9. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    Room 101

    Im a male.
  10. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    Room 101

    Come on then Handy, what were they trying to sell?
  11. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    The Weather

    TBF, the same thing could be said about London, Manchester etc. I have always wanted to visit Stockholm, Copenhagen, Oslo and Scandanavia in general. Maybe one day I will get the chance. Mind you I did find this stonking old car on a Finnish classic car website and I have checked a route which would have me on a ferry across to Holland, a drive to Hamburg, a ferry to Helsinki, into Finland, get the car and retun the same way. The only real bastard is the ferry journey between Germany and Finland is some 23 odd hrs. Id probably have to do that one on my own. Im itching to do it tho, a PROPER road trip!!!!
  12. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

    They will believe you.
  13. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    Life is a Bastard

    Fucking hell, you have lopped 10 years off of your age.
  14. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    Life is a Bastard

    If you had read a following post by me CA you would have seen that, to me, she is still a beautiful woman, something that time had not diminished. I could also have put up pics of umpteen men who have also gone from youthful beauty into aged beauty but, at that time, I was thinking of Katherine Ross! I don't think there are any unrealistic expectations on women apart from the unrealistic expectations they have about themselves. Pick up a 'Womens' magazine and the fucker is full of fashion tips, diet tips, 'how to be gorgeous at 40' tips etc etc. All written by women, for women about women. Try finding that kind of shit in a mens orientated publication. I, for one, am not swayed by size, shape, looks , what she wears, saggy tits, saggy stomachs or anything else that, for some strange reason, seems to pre occupy millions of women on a daily basis. Im certain that I am not the only man in that thought and opinion. Sure, there are men out there that expect the Earth but, fuck them, men like that aint worth it! To wit, ive never ever or will ever ever give one two or three fucks about a womans physique, age, appearance because it will not necessarily define who she is. Yes, we are all going to get old and we are all going to die BUT ( as per my original post ) it would have been nice if 'god' had allowed us to keep our youthful looks to go with our youthful thoughts ( im 52 with a mental age of 19) to see us out of this world. Hence, life is a bastard. I think people have read way too much into the content of the post and completely missed its point. Oh well.......
  15. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    36. Angie Dickinson

    What, on here?
  16. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    Phil Oakey

    So many words, so little detail.
  17. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    Life is a Bastard

    Claire Bloom in 2016. Still elegant, still good looking.
  18. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    Life is a Bastard

    Well it was worth a go. Baby will be here soon.
  19. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    Life is a Bastard

    I dont think she looks bad for her age either Handy, she is still beautiful in my eyes. I suppose the point I was making was that the ravages of time take their toll on all of us, as demonstrated by the before and after pic. I shouldnt have been like that, surely we could have been left to look youthful throughout our life cycle!!!
  20. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    Life is a Bastard

    EFA.
  21. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    Phil Oakey

    .......as for Robbie Williams, what the fucking hell has he done to his face?
  22. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

    I have not Lardy, however, I did read that little fact in the press some time back. Fucking humungeous, apparently.
  23. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

    Id not do that. Chaz has bull bars on the front of his Nissan Micra and has vowed to run all English cunts off of the roads.
  24. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

    Yesterday. I pulled up outside this village shop and got out of my van to go in. As I walked up to it this woman got out of her old banger, then her three kids then her , I assume , mother . Nothing out of the ordinary there you may think except for one thing. Her mother had the most enormous norks. Not 'big' boobs', Im talking weapons of mass destruction, colossal mammaries the size of which ive not seen since Chesty Morgan strutted her stuff in Z list 'back row of the cinema wank movies' This woman, bless her, walked with a stoop and was barely 5ft tall. Id have offered to hold em up for her as she walked around the store but Id only gone in for a paper and a Kit Kat. Maybe next time.
  25. Lord Fellatio Nelson

    Phil Oakey

    ...........but apart from that?
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