Lord Fellatio Nelson

Fucking hell, calm down and have a slice of toast!!!! Russia will claim back a territory that wishes to be part of, and has always aligned itself to Russia Other Eastern regions may well follow suit, infact It will be difficult to see how they wont. Its a "Do bears shit in the Woods scenario..." Furthermore, for those cynical bastards like me, it would be very "unfortunate" for the Ukraine to head back into the arms of Russia and not head West into the bosom of Europe, I mean, we need another bankrupt nation sucking the fucking life out of us like we need another hole up our arse. What can the Ukraine do for us that Russia cannot? Erm,make us considerably poorer? Our notion of democracy differs from many. Some believe that even a marginal victory entitles them to do what the fuck they like, well 52% of the population may back that but the other 48% dont and thats when it all goes pear shaped. You win an election then fuck off nearly half the population that didnt actually want you, civil disorder is going to be a given, right? Lets all sit back and watch the Cabaret.............

I can dig it His little piece of turf? Sad news. I bloody love The Warriors, it's my most favouritest film. Mine too!!!!

Wheres me points then?

Is it Tom Jones and Virginia Wade? I always assumed she munched rugs. Ah, in that case she'll be doing it with Bruce Forsyth. The thought of him, let alone, seeing him, makes me want to vomit.

Is it Tom Jones and Virginia Wade? I always assumed she munched rugs.

Anybody care? Yes, me!!!!

So............. Famous British popstar has fucky fucky with a Sports tycoon. Anybody know who they are?

Quite surprisingly, IF this is a genuine post I actually sympathise with you. I live next door to a stuttering twat that looks like a cross between Wayne Rooney and Graham Norton. He and his wife have no children, but do have a boxer dog that they talk to as if it were a child - 'that's a GOOD GIRL, bring the ball to mummy!' - he scuba dives so is deaf, so turns his stereo and Sega Megadrive up to 11, thus making my bookshelves vibrate. They do this between the hours of about 6pm and 1am, as he 'works from home as a photographer' (read that as 'does fuck all except wank while his wife is at work') - thus meaning that I get to sleep at about 2am, and then wake up again about 5am when they decide it's funny to make their dog start barking. On the weekends (and sometimes in the week) they have friends over and all have sex with each other, and his wife does quite a good impression of a squealing Jack Russell with a strangulated hernia. When his friends come over, they find it acceptable to park across my driveway. One day I am going to kill him. Actually kill him, to death. In the meantime, because I'm a lazy council-working cunt, I have dapped along the work corridor to the planning department, who have confirmed that due to the location of our properties, I am perfectly within my rights to erect a rather high fence in my front garden - this will block most of the daytime sun from his living room. And he can do fuck all about it as he doesn't own the house, and IF his landlord tries to complain (which planning say he can't), I will report him to Revenue and Customs, as I know he does not declare the full amount of rent they pay to him. So they can all suck a big fart right out of my ass. Post of the year, so far. If she has sex with loads of men, any chance of puting a good word in for me? Im trying to remember what its like. I may be hung like a chinese hamster but ive got nigh on 15 stone to push it in with. Cheers!! You'd probably catch chlamydia. You'd be better off fucking the boxer dog. Makes less noise too. The thing is, they are skanky cunts too. I've been in their house because when we first moved in, we were actually fairly civil, and we would go round to feed their cat when they were off diving (in the sea). They have a pole (for dancing) in their dining room, and their house FUCKING STINKS. Of course, with hindsight, I should have had a key cut, so that now we are not friends, I could still go in their house and hide kippers behind their radiators, to make the house smell better. Well keep your eyes and ears open maybe something better will crop up ..........or summat.

Quite surprisingly, IF this is a genuine post I actually sympathise with you. I live next door to a stuttering twat that looks like a cross between Wayne Rooney and Graham Norton. He and his wife have no children, but do have a boxer dog that they talk to as if it were a child - 'that's a GOOD GIRL, bring the ball to mummy!' - he scuba dives so is deaf, so turns his stereo and Sega Megadrive up to 11, thus making my bookshelves vibrate. They do this between the hours of about 6pm and 1am, as he 'works from home as a photographer' (read that as 'does fuck all except wank while his wife is at work') - thus meaning that I get to sleep at about 2am, and then wake up again about 5am when they decide it's funny to make their dog start barking. On the weekends (and sometimes in the week) they have friends over and all have sex with each other, and his wife does quite a good impression of a squealing Jack Russell with a strangulated hernia. When his friends come over, they find it acceptable to park across my driveway. One day I am going to kill him. Actually kill him, to death. In the meantime, because I'm a lazy council-working cunt, I have dapped along the work corridor to the planning department, who have confirmed that due to the location of our properties, I am perfectly within my rights to erect a rather high fence in my front garden - this will block most of the daytime sun from his living room. And he can do fuck all about it as he doesn't own the house, and IF his landlord tries to complain (which planning say he can't), I will report him to Revenue and Customs, as I know he does not declare the full amount of rent they pay to him. So they can all suck a big fart right out of my ass. Post of the year, so far. If she has sex with loads of men, any chance of puting a good word in for me? Im trying to remember what its like. I may be hung like a chinese hamster but ive got nigh on 15 stone to push it in with. Cheers!!

To make such a deduction you must have both boned a woman over 60 AND stuck your cock in a can of baked beans. Sicko. Yeah, but the money I raised for "Children In Need" made it all worth it. KIDS AS WELL! SOMEONE CALL YEWTREE! Today not one, not two, but THREE stars appeared before the beak. DLT, Rolf and Bill Roache, whadda the chances of that, eh!!!! To top it all, Freddie Starr was also rearrested. Jesus wept!!!! I noticed that. I also noticed Rolf Harris's wife in a wheelchair.......(one of my unique picks on the DDP ) You are deffo on form Lardy. If I had a pair of tits, Id never need a woman i would have laughed em orft!

To make such a deduction you must have both boned a woman over 60 AND stuck your cock in a can of baked beans. Sicko. Yeah, but the money I raised for "Children In Need" made it all worth it. KIDS AS WELL! SOMEONE CALL YEWTREE! Today not one, not two, but THREE stars appeared before the beak. DLT, Rolf and Bill Roache, whadda the chances of that, eh!!!! To top it all, Freddie Starr was also rearrested. Jesus wept!!!!

I was going to edit my post. Just looked up the "comedy" and it did actually last a whole first series before being thrown in the bin. Mind you it was in 1982 and my memory isnt what it was, besides I was 17 then and never at home to watch TV unless it was Hill St Blues.

My sister does! She remembers it about a bloke dying when a champagne cork hits him between the eyes and then living some sort of strange afterlife... Kenny Ireland is currently in 'Benidorm'... I remember it too. Sachs played a Pools winner who died celebrating his win in, IIRC, a Hotel. It was that bad it got annihilated by the critics and the series got pulled after the first episode, the rest of them canned and thrown into the vaults of Thames Television or summat.

Cheers fella!! IIRC, and Im happy to be corrected, I could have sworn that I had him down for a January exit too. I had toyed with the idea of keeping him on this list too! Bugger

Your 60s wank bank is slowly diminishing, you'll have to move on to the 70s soon for your meat-beating fodder. (That's the 1970's, not ladies in their 70s). You are a massive bastard!! Come on Lardy, help the aged......

Oh, bloody hell, another part of my childhood has gone. Her, alongside Annette Andre, were the two blonde bombshells of British TV in the 60s, Fuck.

Ali does not need to google to appear smarter, for he is the smartest person I know. If you only knew the hours of research he puts in to deadpooling. Picking a fight with him about deadpool celebrities is a fruitless task, my friend. Excuse me, but we know Maryport is at least twice as smart as me. Maybe, maybe not, but he doesnt attend DL meets carrying a dossier under his armpit or summat!!! That, dear Sir, makes you a little bit spesh in the deadpooling world!

Mine is Jo Jo Gunne.

So he has a skeleton in the broom cupboard eh? Actually those rumours are as old as the ones about Jason Donovan being gay... I knew you would gopher it Handy!!! The source is pretty good and, to be fair, the kind of people providing the info are not the kind to make this up, they probably arent clever enough.

My daughter has told me that a married celebrity who is a household name is, infact, gay. The source for this rumour is pretty good by all accounts. That was something i didnt know this morning!

Not a bad rant. Why don't you join up? Maybe they already have but were a bit bored today so......

This year I shall mostly be feeling very confident of greater success. It would appear that the "committee" have pulled some of their 2014 names off of the same website I found. Result.

Olivia De Havilland Carol Channing Eli Wallach Kirk Douglas Jimmy Hill Luise Ranier Abe Vigoda Paul Gascoigne Stephen Fry Sid Caesar Subs: Maureen O'Hara and Christopher Lee I will finish bottom anyway......

That one is just wrong on all levels!!!!!!

Well officials are stressing that there is no truth to the rumours that Damon Hill forced him into the rocks on the first bend.