Lord Fellatio Nelson

Wireless and all this mumbo jumbo technology will end up making me redundant.

LFN - wasn't Forrest Gump a little 'slow'. Retarded even? Isn't imbecile an old medical term for people with an IQ of 60 or less? Perhaps you shouldn't 'TOTALLY object' to the 'handicapped jibe' when you are prepared to celebrate it yourself. Anyway, it was good to see you work yourself up. Did you really feel that angry? No. I thought not. Does it not depend, somewhat, on how its delivered? Does calling somebody an imbecille deliver the same impact as calling somebody a Mongol? Would Forrest Gump have worked if he had been portrayed as an adult with the mind of an 18 month old? I have no objection to being called a cretin, idiot, Forrest Gump or Dennis Lynham. I do object to a little Turd using the handicapped jibe in the manor that he did and, lets not pretend here, we know how his little brain works.......... Did I feel angry? No Disgusted? Yes. Disgust and anger are not neccessarily bedfellows, its quite possible to feel one without the other. As I stated previously, I couldnt give a toss if he stays or goes, that was until the lastest homophobic and bigoted rant. Pooka, you are smarter than the average Bear, no doubt, I also respect what you have said, I dont agree, but I respect you for them. Conversely, I wont be responding to Millwall. Yours LFN

I'll fight you Lard Bazaar Fights 128, wins 0, draws 128, losses 0. You bring the paddling pool and jelly and I'll bring the bikinis You do realize that somewhere in New York BS will be sitting, reading your post, glopping away at the very thought of it.

No he doesnt want to play Poker Alphonsin. No, he doesnt want to fight you Lardy. Nuff said.

Also, aren't we on the cusp of a global "reverse polarity". I'm not sure how much is really known about the events and consequences (but am probably wrong). Who's to know that global warming isn't simply the planet's preparation to reverse poles? Just throwing this minnow into the ring (apologies for the mixed metaphor)....... Yes that theory has been doing the rounds for a few years. Basically, If i remember rightly, every umpitee thousand years, the magnetic poles do a swap. Generally, it damn near pulls Planet Earth to pieces in the process. Afterwards, all goes quiet and serene. Atj, I agree. If you have those bastards upping the prices on the back of crop failures and high demand from new markets (EG: China) then things will get pretty shitty. Overall, Lardy might well have put it all to bed with reasoned, measured, logical argument

Atj, I mentioned, on a similar vein on another thread, just why the cost of crude has gone through the roof. Speculators. DDT, Who is right? Those that believe in Global Warming or those that dont? So far the loudest shouters have been from the believers. Have you looked into the studies of those that conclude that Global Warming isnt, infact Global Warming? Just why is the Earth now cooling? Where are the answers. The Polar Icecaps are melting. When the Ice has gone it will leave a land mass possibly greater than the land that will be swallowed up by the rising sea levels. In other words, the Polar regions will revert back to a normal, habitable landmass, like it was tens of thousands of years ago. Possibly, in tens of thousands of years into the future it would revert back to Ice. Why did we have an Ice age? Why was the land beneath our feet a tropical paradise long, long ago? A good proportion of Norfolk is in danger of being taken by the Sea, Global warming they all say. Was global warming responsible for the freak storms that, over hundreds of years took large chunks of the ancient Town of Dunwich into the sea? It would seem that costal errosion has been going on long before the industrial revolution. Sorry, I just dont buy into it all. Ive read both sides of the argument, and Im going with the ones who have been shouted down. My call.

What does a big white trailer have to do with Handicap? BS, you are no Gentleman, you have demonstrated in just one thread, that you make Alf Garnet ( Archie Bunker X100 ) look like Archbishop Desmond Tutu. The only question left is to ask whether we actually have people at the helm of this Ship who have the will and the balls to deal with you. Inspite of the amount of people you have offended by pestering, spouting racist, bigoted shite, nobody has deemed it necessary to give you the elbow. I doubt if anything will change. PS: TAFKAG, anything you'd like to say?

My quoting Canadian Paul for this post is nothing to do with him (her?) personally but I wnated to use the above post as it sems to be the only place in this thread in which the arguments in favour of banning Banshees Scream are laid out anything like explicitly and clearly. Simply put, they do not ammount to any kind of reason or argument for banning him from the forum.So far as I can tell he has sent private mesages to people who have found them objectionable. There does not seem to be any example of him posting anything directly offensive in the forum itself. Even if there were it would take a massive leap of the imagination and ego to imagine that writing something means that he should be banned. Let us supose that he has hurt someones feelings. Very well, but what does that have do with anyone other than him and the other person in question.It astonishes me when people think they have the right not to have their feelings hurt and that others should ammend their behaviour around their touchy sensetivity. Why not simply read it then ignore it, or reply to it, or disagree with it or whatever you may wish to do. Think about the nature of the forum in which we are all writing. the very nature of suggests a libera; attitude to what should and should not be said. Even if Banshee's were to post something unkind about women in gerneral, the handicapped, or another forum member , is any more or less "offensive" than us offering up estimates on when celebs will die? There has been a lot of talk about banning people latley and since all that has not generated a single cogent argument beyond "I don't like what ____ says/how they say it" I can only assume people are acting out of boredom an/or the wish to be supressive. As I said a few posts back, the voting on this thread appears to be faulty (it's recorded me as having voted when in fact I haven't) but if I were able to cast a vote it would be against banning him. So lets get this right. You sod off for ages, come back and state "There has been a lot of talk about banning people lately" Really? Show me the threads. Now, without wishing to pull your post to pieces ( which wouldnt be too much of an exertion )allow me to get to the point. How would you feel if I called you a"F*****g retard and a Homo? I found it pretty sickening. I dont really feel that having any kind of discussion with you is going to be fruitful TBH, you are so wide of the mark its a joke. As you believe we should not respond or just ignore bigoted, offensive, scumbags, like BS when they are doing what they do naturally (being offensive) perhaps you would care to ignore and not respond to me when I tell you that you signature is, indeed, a statement out of truth. " The mother of Idiots is always pregnant" Yes, she obviously gave birth to you!

No, no, no.......it was Geoffrey Howe. Otherwise, a top rant LFN. The explosive power of this thread continues to rise. Now let's get Star Crossed back posting under his own name and head for meltdown. Mary, it was Dennis Healey who said it, Geoffrey ( Mogadon) Howe was the recipient.

That was almost a coherant post. Let me assure you that I am not gay. Having said that, what if I was? WTF is wrong with being Gay? You Bigot! Avatars? hmmm, plenty of hetrosexuals love The Rocky Horror Show, Handrejka loves it, does that make her a "Goddam Lezi!"??? My current one is for a reason, fook all to do with you, way over your head. Handicapped? No im not, but I do have a 24 year brother with Downs Syndrome. Perhaps your little sewer of a brain may like to use that in an attack on me? BS, you really are a complete W**ker. You have failed to grasp the facts. Half those who voted would rather rod their dog than have you on here. Out of the remaining half, the majority believe you to be an amusing imbecile, a sort of Forrest Gump. The fact that you failed to see that several DL members (NOT a mod ) decided that a Poll was necessary for everybody to have a say on whether a racist, sexist bigot who has caused more women on this forum to block one individual than any other forum alive, speaks volumes for your arrogance. Anywhere else and you would have been out on your arse, here, well this is tolerant land. Make no mistake, you are skating on very thin ice, I for one TOTALLY object to the Gay and Handicapped jibe. You actually disgust me, I truly thought bigoted pond life like you had all but been extinguished. If there was ever an excuse to have your arse hauled off of here, you have just provided it. In attacking me, which feels like ive been savaged by a dead sheep ( thanks Dennis Healey ) you have really opened up to what you really are, a disgusting littel turd that uses sexuality and disability as weapons, purely because you lack the intellect to do it any other way. You know something? I didnt give a sh*t if you stayed or went, you dont mean anything to me to care either way. Now? I think you should be got rid of, there is no place on any forum for somebody like you, let alone this world. LFN Not Lawrence or Tucker ( which are no more "Gay" than Freddie ( Mercury) Oscar (Wilde) or Rock ( Hudson)...)

Im quite happy to concede that the threat of Terrorism is much greater to all of us than before. The methods have moved on a bit havent they, suicide bombers, the attempted aquisition of nuclear material to make dirty bombs etc. A very umpleasant change of tactics. Im still not convinced as to Global warming. I will admit that the human race is not doing much in the way of reducing the threat, however, what do you do with a world population going through the roof? Why is the earth now cooling? Its calculated that this slow cooling could go on for 10 years. Why? Scientists dont know... Are you aware that the Sphinx exhibits all the classic signs of water errosion? The very desert it resides in was once a luscious green landscape. Why is it now desert? The threats and dangers of today are no different to before. The Cuban missile crisis, WW1 and WW2 have all been lived through and, at the time were perceived to be the End of us all. Food? One minute we are told of the huge Euro food mountains, farmers paid to produce with no market to buy, now food is short...sorry thats B******s! I am a great believer in cycles, the earth is going through one that it has been through umpteen times over in its lifetime. The difference is that we are now able to analyse what is going on instead of blaming angry Gods and the like. Knowledge is a great thing but it is a double edged sword. We know have the capacity to understand what is going on around us, we realize that we could all be wiped out in an instant should a meteor hit us ( not that we would be told it was coming). All of the above is a bloody good reason not to worry. Whats the point? Do we stop having children? Stop going to work? Go out and get pissed everyday? Do whatever we like? As much as id love to stop working, get pissed at will and do what I like, its a tad impractical. More important than anything else, I have to convince my beautiful daughter that the world isnt so bad and it is worth carrying on. We all have to.

Is there any point in worrying? Rogue States, Terrorism, Disease, Famine, all nothing new. Global warming, for me, is overplayed, man has survived the elements and natural disasters for thousands of years, and will continue to do so. I think the biggest danger to us all is the Lawless society. That actually scares me more than anything else. Reading DDTs post cast my mind back to my primary school days where one day, during a lesson, a friend told me all about Mother Shipton and the world ending in 1981. Well, I never did sleep that easily until January 1st 1982. All that worry for sod all.

As I was watching one of the Marx films once, I had realized the performance of film had lost it's face to special effects - or something. Every decade of film is a little different and must be analyzed differently. Today I think film might be too ordinary. I don't know what it is. Not as much expression but more of a script? Unfortunately, apart from those that transcend time, films can only be fully enjoyed when they are contemporary. It's the nature of things that all the best qualities of a film period/genre are re-cycled and "improved", by adding colour, throwing more money at it, or making the story more contemporaneous. I have to say that there are great films that stand apart from this accusation. (Shhhh!.....I think this a rant, but I might have got away with it.) Not quite. Quite a lot of films stand apart. I can think of very few remakes that are an improvement on the original. These originals are all better than the remakes: All Quiet on the Western Front, The Lady Killers, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The 39 Steps (two, both worse than the first), Brief Encounter, Cape fear, Cheaper by the Dozen, Get Carter, The Haunting, The Day of the Jackal, The Shining, The Stepford Wives and many more. I agree (for once) with Banshees, CGI has gone too far. What about good old drama? And musicals. What happened to musicals? Why doesn't anyone make anything like the Sound of Music anymore? Neither do I agree that a film can only be enjoyed when it is contemporary. I love old films - all the above, any of the old Jimmy Cagney or Humphrey Bogart films, anything with Jimmy Stewart or Bop Hope or John Wayne. I am sick to death of constant re-runs of 1990s and later films when so many great films were made in the 30s, 50s, 60s and 70s. There's a big difference in basing a film like the Big Lebowsky loosely on the Big Sleep and a straight remake. But to say that colour, money etc make a better film, I can't agree, or is that what you were saying too Terminator? I absolutely agree that these "best of" polls are a load of shite with token mentions of Casablanca and Citizen Kane just because they're old films that the younger (only) voters have heard of. Er... this too appears to have become a rant. Sorry. You are so right Sir! One of my all time favourite films is "Bad Day at Black Rock" You are watching some greats at work, Tracy, Borgnine, Ryan etc. Am I really going to wet myself at the performance of George Clooney, by comparison? Mildred Pierce, Public Enemy, Giant, you could list forever. I confess, I am a sado. Everytime one of these comes onto the TV ( thanks TCM) Im sitting there glued. I can probably count the follicles on Fred Kites head, Ive seen that film so many times. There are the odd few "moderns" that I love but they are few and far between. Regards A more cultured and mellow LFN.

Its got a built in anti apathy monitor. You will vote whether you want to or not.

It would be shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted if the thread was to be locked. The reality is, as LG has pointed out, 99% of the female posters have had issues with him at some time or another. BS is also a racist bigot. All that apart, he is the one person on this forum who can give the rest of us the feeling of smug superiority. Possibly, he is a price worth paying.

Actually, no I dont need reminding thanks. The poll was sparked during debate elsewhere, I merely, because im a complete twat, stuck my head over the paraphet and did what was suggested, construct a long overdue Poll. Give the people a say, and all of that. I, personally, couldnt give a monkeys whether he stays or goes. Many people here have good sound reasons as to why he should go and some of the others clearly enjoy the fact that, so long as he remains, he will make them look slightly more intelligent than they may actually be. Windsor, before you start to go down the "it aint as good as it used to be" road, take a look on who is the biggest poster on the "Room 101" thread. Now what was that about "bland characters?" Finally, very finally, out of courtesy, who the f***k am I responding to this time? Is it another multi faced poster? Another warm, smiling assasin, friendly but deadly? They know who they are, I certainly do.

Ever felt you were a patsy?

Lord, at grevious risk of igniting the hoary old What is Art chestnut, may I take it that if you can't "tell what it is yet" then it doesn't meet with your approval? I know what it is. Its a picture ( it doesnt deserve to be called a painting) of somebodys vomit. If Tracy Emin could make a Bedroom scene look like an old slags morning after (Her life expressed in Art, allegedly....) and call that Art, why is it beyond the realms of possibility that Cy twatface wasnt inspired to paint his "picture" after a bout of food poisoning and a visit to the bog to "talk to Burton Huey?" Yours Lord Philistine Nelson I'm not calling you a philistine, but I fail to see the connection between Emin's 'bed' (which I don't admire) and Twombly's paintings (which I do), other than that they're both non-figurative. I won't ask what you think of Jackson Pollock's art, because I can already guess. And I expect it'll involve more bodily-function metaphors, random Capital letters and an 'angry' emoticon. TAFKAG and Lord Philistine(may I call you Phil?) I find nothing wrong with bodily functions per se but if your gonna paint someone downloading their dinner, it should be done with the passion and conviction it deserves: Madame, you are delicious!!

Lord, at grevious risk of igniting the hoary old What is Art chestnut, may I take it that if you can't "tell what it is yet" then it doesn't meet with your approval? I know what it is. Its a picture ( it doesnt deserve to be called a painting) of somebodys vomit. If Tracy Emin could make a Bedroom scene look like an old slags morning after (Her life expressed in Art, allegedly....) and call that Art, why is it beyond the realms of possibility that Cy twatface wasnt inspired to paint his "picture" after a bout of food poisoning and a visit to the bog to "talk to Burton Huey?" Yours Lord Philistine Nelson I'm not calling you a philistine, but I fail to see the connection between Emin's 'bed' (which I don't admire) and Twombly's paintings (which I do), other than that they're both non-figurative. I won't ask what you think of Jackson Pollock's art, because I can already guess. And I expect it'll involve more bodily-function metaphors, random Capital letters and an 'angry' emoticon. Firstly, did I say that you called my a Philistine? Secondly, dont get snotty with me. I am entitled to an opinion which is just as valid as anybody elses, If I want to use the vomit analogy to describe a painting that has been copied by 7 year olds at easels the country over and laterly by chimpanzees, I will use it. If you want debate with me the merits of non figurative, post modern, impressionists and anything else, I will be happy to on any Art derived forum of your choosing. I wont debate here in any depth because thats not why Im here. I gave a flippant but honest opinion of something, thats my call. Your right,in this case, I dont rate Jackson Pollock, should I? Do you rate Michael Ballack? Opinions, opinions. Oh, and dont you dare, for one second assume that I, because of my style of posting ( which suits me here thanks) in anyway makes me somewhat uncouth, unintelligent and some boneheaded knuckledragger, a view you have barely tried to disguise. Make no mistake, I have had a decent education sweetie, Im a lot smarter than I post. Finally, there is a clear indication that you cant see the wood for the trees, ever heard of "tongue in cheek?" Yours, who wasnt called a philistine and isnt really anyway LFN PS: Fart, pee, like a wrestlers jockstrap

Insects and things that bite and sting you. Ive got a swollen forearm, sore as buggery and I dont know what did it. When i find out, its dead meat!! Burn them all in Hell!

Rotten Ali perhaps? I know what you mean. The rest of them just get on with it but him - no! He does that thing with his eyes whereby when he answers they are either shut or fluttering. He is a w**ker. What really annoys me about him is the way he violently shakes his head to signify yes or no on the panel before the answers are told. God, he is a prick! Thanks for reminding me how much of a smug prick he actually is, harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy. The c*nt has a new Hitleresque hairstyle. Even though I hate most people on the planet, this bellended (ta AtJ) cockspanner (ta LFN) is light years ahead of the competition. Though I wish his death, I only do so with the proviso that it's extremely slow and painful. Go on Arry, throw a packet of wet cack in his face!!!! I do confess that I get quite "emotional" imagining Judith, dressed in leather ( assuming she can squeeze the wrinkles in) taking me to task.........

Lord, at grevious risk of igniting the hoary old What is Art chestnut, may I take it that if you can't "tell what it is yet" then it doesn't meet with your approval? I know what it is. Its a picture ( it doesnt deserve to be called a painting) of somebodys vomit. If Tracy Emin could make a Bedroom scene look like an old slags morning after (Her life expressed in Art, allegedly....) and call that Art, why is it beyond the realms of possibility that Cy twatface wasnt inspired to paint his "picture" after a bout of food poisoning and a visit to the bog to "talk to Burton Huey?" Yours Lord Philistine Nelson

I'm sorry if this is boring to most DLers, but I'd like to point out that Twombly has an exhibition at Tate Modern and that I consider him one of the premier C20th artists. Of course, he won't get Rolf-like column inches and he may not die for years, but the Deathlist is a broad church, I'd hope. (Hmmm, I'd had a few drinks when I wrote that. I do rate his work, but maybe 'one of the premier C20th artists' is a bit OTT) TAFKAG I'm deeply impressed with this. I would nominate Cy as the DL's adopted artist. If that picture is supposed to resemble vomit, he has skimped on the carrots. Who is taking the piss out of who? The "Artists" or the "Art lovers?" In a debate on the Arts, I like to fall back on the old "The Kings New Clothes" Fairytale. That says it all.

Oh, ok. I cannot hold it back any longer. I admire you BS, you linguistic Linda Lovelace. From the top of my head to the bottom of my size 10s, I tingle at every sentence you write. My crass, infantile comments can no longer mask my admiration for you. A giant of the word, your modesty, intergrity and presence tower over all here. The mere thought of your pronounciation makes me feel as if Ive experienced a warm Shower, Golden. I block your PMs because im not worthy of direct social intercourse with you. You give me the faith and courage to face the day, everyday, a morning erection of empowerment. That is all I can say. I love you, Fluffy Bunny ( can I call you that, now i have been so emotionally intimate with you?) Yours Lord Fellaty, Watey Nelson

It's a shame that everyone missed this gem for the the last Monkeys nominations. For literary style in a post I think Pooka's opening paragraph takes a lot of beating. Sorry for raising this in a lifeless thread but reading the weather thread and SC's long running debate with himself in the Patrick Moore thread just now, I felt overcome with nostalgia for old Walter. Has he been banned? Is he behind Scott and Dave perchance? For two months now I have no idea what has happened to Patrick Moore. If you're out there Walter, harvesting the "first earlies" in your allotment (nice with butter) or stamping on your runner beans (for obvious reasons), just give us a sign. No not that one. Why, thank you Godot. I do my best, in a modest way, to maintain a good style with the mother of languages. However, I am a novice compared to Banshee's Scream. He seems to have mastered the tongue in a way that many could only dream of. Pookie!!!! Welcome back. Now, be sure, to be sure, to attend this years DL convention. Do not, as last year, slink in, pick a table and observe........