TAFKAG

Roger Waters' inflatable pig has gone AWOL. I expect Fossett borrowed it for a test flight.

He's so not dead he's going back to work later this week.

That seems a fairly good source, and if so it's a great shame.

Would that be Alabama blues harp legend Swallowin' Marc Almond?

Common sense has prevailed, invitation withdrawn.

Maybe they could lease it to the Onanism Glorification Church.

Boffins away!! Pioneering electronic/tape music composer Tristram Cary has begun decomposing in Australia. As well as doing all that arty musique concrète stuff he wrote scores for Doctor Who, The Ladykillers (the original, of course) and Hammer horror films, and helped with the visual design of the first synth.

Blake's 7 to be revived? But didn't they all get shot dead within the space of about 30 seconds, after surviving everything the Universe could throw at them for æons?

I saw this documentary about executed 1950s American 'commie spies' Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, which led me to an excellent novel based on their sad story, EL Doctorow's The Book of Daniel. Recommended, and here's an interesting article about it. I like to read books as I walk to work; I'm not sure the people walking the other way appreciate it, though.

I know us English seem traditionally encouraged to keep quiet about our national day, but I'm going to cry 'God for Harry, England and St George!' all the same.

Plenty of wonderfully misnamed programmes here. Yeah it's old, but it's still good.

£5bn increase in the estimated cost for the Olympics. At least the Beijing torch fiasco was a snip at £750k.

They say: 'I'd Do Anything' We say: 'Graham Norton'd Do Anything to Stay on TV'

After 15 years UKIP has its first MP, albeit via the 'Marsden Manoeuvre'. They must be so proud.

Damn. And there was me already imagining The Pasadenas' version of Gigantic and Sade doing Celebrity Skin.

Singer Al Wilson has died at 68. He was best known for Show and Tell and his Northern Soul stomper , currently residing where all 60s soul songs go to die, adland.

A rapper named VL Mike has died, not from having an eagle drop a tortoise on his head, not from choking on a prawn vol-au-vent, but, incredibly, from being gunned down with a bloody great big gun! (Don't forget to use BallerStatus.com for all your hip-hop needs. Fo' shizzle, aight).

He's out of rehab, but he has grown a bushy beard and become obsessed by ghosts and aliens. "I think joining Take That was like leaving on a spaceship..."

Is it OK for a wee English lassie to post here? Some historian bloke reckons the bagpipes aren't quite as big a part of Scottish history as we think. Whatever next - they'll be claiming Scotland didn't win the 1978 World Cup!

Just as long as you don't teach English. Ditto to you TAFKAG -- there's nothing wrong with years. Oh, the hypocracy... Let's call it a draw, Jermaine. You obviously missed the point of that and this post entirely, which, quite ironically, proves it. So you meant it in a 'word-play context', did you? Fine, I'll believe you.

Just as long as you don't teach English. Ditto to you TAFKAG -- there's nothing wrong with years. Oh, the hypocracy... Let's call it a draw, Jermaine.

After a swift sideways move from the Old Codgers Being Pushed Over sector?

In a shocking outbreak of common sense, the decision will now be made before the play-offs begin. Elsewhere, if the Sky Blues don't play up* at Colchester today it's looking like League One football next season. * For the uninitiated (co-written by a certain pointy-chinned ex-manager and pundit): Let's all sing together Play up, Sky Blues While we sing together We will never lose Tottenham or Chelsea United or anyone They shan't defeat us We'll fight 'til the game is won! City! City! City! Except that 'Tottenham', 'Chelsea' and 'United' have been replaced by the likes of 'Cobblers' and 'Oysters'. 1987 seems a world away, sigh...

Just as long as you don't teach English.

You cannae beat a good oxymoron.