themaninblack

Not sure. In fact he's 71. I'll find out...

Okay then, not Homing Pidgeons, or Wood Pidgeons for that matter, but the town centre gathering kind can disappear overnight for all I care. They're a bloody menace!

I think that there are less birds around these days, particularly starlings and swallows. More Magpies though...

Why don't we collect a few birds of every concievable species, from chicken to swallow*. We keep them in sanctuary and then kill every last bird thats left behind. The chinese did this back in the 1950s or something when they had trouble with birds. The people were instructed to make noises and kept the birds in the air, untill in the end, they all died and fell to earth. *the exception are pidgeons, we should kill everyone of those bastards!

True, but of course this all depends on whether the Iraqi laws would permit execution or not. For instance, if Saddam was tried in the UK or in most states in the USA, life imprisonment would be the most he would get.

Some are concerned that an execution may make Saddam a martyr, regardless of the many crimes that he has committed. Just bear that in mind...

I accept the blow-job mistake, but the cannibal line does kinda take on an olde worlde stereotype don't you agree? Nowt wrong with satire.

One of them has AIDS would probably be a more pertinent punchline...

A drunk man enters a brothel and asks the Madame what kind of service she's offering. The Madame replies "Well sir, we can offer you a beautiful, high-class model who will do the full works: Blow-Job, Anal you name it, for £100. "I haven't got £100. Have you anything cheaper?" the man replies. "We have a normal girl who just does full sex for £50". "I haven't got £50" replied the man. "What have you got?" inquired the Madame. The man fished out some money and drunkenly counted it. "£11.62". "Give me a tenner and come with me" said the Madame. She took the man by the hand and led him into a small, brightly lit room. There was a small wooden stool in the middle of the room. "Sit on that stool and wait five minutes" instructed the Madame. So the drunk man sits on the stool for a while and tries to keep awake. Five minutes later and he hears this sound, like a small metal hatch opening. In saunters a pig. "Is this it?" thought the man, but then he thought "What the hell" and proceeded to take off his trousers and molest the animal. Two minutes later the man staggers out of the room, thanks the Madame for the nights enetertainment and leaves. One week later, the same man and in the same drunken state, staggers into the same brothel (it's a small town you see). "What have you got this time" asked the Madame. Once more the man fumbles through loose change. "£5.18". He replies. The Madam takes the fiver off his hands and directs him upstairs to the 'Voyueur's Room". The man opens the door and sees that its a large, dark, open room. In the middle of room however is a crowd of people, gathered around a point of light. The man heads towards the gathering and sees for himself what they are interested in. It turns out to be a glass floor and the people are observing a man and woman in the throes of full sexual contact. "This is brilliant" splutters the man, nudging one the observers. "Yeah" replies the other man, "But you should've been here last week mate, we saw a bloke F**k a pig!"

I'm hoping she lives till 120. By then, hopefully 'Thatcherism' would have been overturned, her legacy destroyed and her reputation diminished. If she dies in the near future, I'll have to lock myself in a room for the next few weeks untill the coast is clear and all the platitudes would have died down. Alas, the latter is more likely to happen...

I'm sorry, who is Helen Keller?

Check out this opinion from scaruffi.com: "Elvis Presley was the first great swindle of rock'n'roll, and the prototype for the ones that would follow. Equipped him with a masterful rhythm section (Bill Black on bass and Scotty Moore on guitar), he was marketed as the juvenile delinquent that he was not. In segregated America, Presley became the ultimate white robber of black hits: Arthur Crudup's That's All Right Mama (1954), Roy Brown's Good Rockin' Tonight (1955), Junior Parker's Mystery Train (1955). He began to move towards "whiter" material with Carl Perkins' Blue Suede Shoes (1956), with Shorty Long on piano, Mae Axton's Heartbreak Hotel (1956), perhaps his vocal masterpiece, Leiber & Stoller's Hound Dog (1956), but his black soul still emerged in Otis Blackwell's diptych Don't Be Cruel (1956), his greatest hit, and All Shook Up (1957). Leiber & Stoller's Jailhouse Rock (1958), finally an irreverent boogie, was his swan song. Presley the rocker died there: he went on to croon and shout operatic melodies such as old Italian songs, and to specialize in seduction numbers such as Love Me Tender (1956, stolen from the soundtrack of "Rancho Notorious"), and Hugo (Peretti) & Luigi (Creatore)'s Can't Help Falling In Love (1961, a rewrite of Giovanni Martini's Plaisir d'Amour). " You should read what he says about the Beatles!

Hey give the man a break! Without him Cuba would just be an off-shore casino for the US...

Drat! I was going to tell that joke!

Eh?

No wonder we're running out of oil...

She likes a drink does Maggie. I'll give her a couple of years or so tops!

One thing I'd like to see change is the little indicator bars. They need to be more in proportion to the amount of posts made by members.

Ronnie Barker had a Humanist funeral today and was cremated.

On the list? He's Numero Uno. I saw him on The World new programme on BBC. He'll also give an interview on Newsnight. He looks increasingly frail. Quite sad really, but the Nobel Prize is well deserved.

So Pinter's been awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature. A sure sign that he's going to croak it methinks...

You're lucky! There is a firewall block on my Computer at work, so can't access the website at all...

...and nor did Labour in the 1980s. Ineffective oppositions lead to these long periods in power. Looks as though the Tories are starting to get their act together now though...

Well while we're there, why not think about how Tony Blair managed to get re-elected twice!

Good point. They were hardly going to say 'he's at deaths door you know!'. Mind you the Independent came pretty close in the Pinter article. He should just last the year mind...I think...