Saint Peter

From : services@alliance-leicester.co.uk Dear Valued Customer, We recently reviewed your account, and we are suspecting that your Internet Banking account may have been accessed from an unauthorized computer. We are asking you to immediately login and report any unauthorized withdrawals, and check your account profile to make sure that no changes has been made.. Please click on the following link to verify your account activity. CONTINUE Thank You. Another one from the same cnut

From : services@alliance-leicester.co.uk Dear Valued Customer, We recently reviewed your account, and we are suspecting that your Internet Banking account may have been accessed from an unauthorized computer. This may be due to changes in your IP addresses or location. Protecting the security of your account and of the Alliance-Leicester Bank networks is our primary concern. We are asking you to immediately login and report any unauthorized withdrawals, and check your account profile to make sure that no changes has been made. Click to Resolve Yours sincerely, Online Customer Service I don't bank with them

From : mawerickcows@verizon.net Hello, Our store offers all kinds of medicines that you need to recover your health at low price. We work all over the world with clients from America, Europe and Asia. Now you don't have to pay a good deal of money for medicines. We deliver high quality pills worldwide. Visit our site and get medicines that you need instantly direct to your home. We are verified by VeriSign and VISA so we provide secure and confidential purchase.Our store has all kinds of pills to cure the following medical problems : Man's health, Anti-depressants, Antibiotics, Pain relief, Blood Pressure/Cholesterol, Diabetes, Diuretic, Sexual health, Erectile dysfunction, Weight loss, Anti-herpes, General health, Womens's health, Anti-allergic/Asthma, Anti-acidity, Sleep aids. - All popular medicines are available (SPAM, SPAM, SPAM and many more) - Fast and discreet worldwide shipping - No Doctor Visits, No Prescriptions - Save up to % 80 because online shops are always cheaper than local ones. - Friendly customer support, 100% Customer Satisfaction We back our medications up with a full 45 days guarantee. If you are not 100% satisfied, we will refund you no questions asked. Check out our store here : http://somewebsite I'm not sick !!!

Capital H, as in Hello, to start a sentence. The education system is phucked!!

From : op012555@keptprivate.com Good Day, Please Read. My name is Mr. Sidi Sanogo Napon , I am the credit officer in International Credit Bank Ouagadougou Burkina Faso. I have a business proposal in the tune of $5.5m, (Five Million Five hundred Thousand only) after the successful transfer; we shall share in ratio of 40% for you and 60% for me.Should you be interested, please contact me through my private email (snapon01@seznam.cz) so we can commence all arrangements and i will give you more information on how we would handle this project. Please treat this business with utmost confidentiality and send me the Following: (1) Full names: (2) Private phone number: (3) Current residential address: (4) Occupation: (5) Age and Sex: Kind Regards, Mr.Sidi.S.Napon NB:Please reply via this Email: snapon01@seznam.cz Please call me on the receipt Tel:00226-76984378 I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams

From : shocal@centrum.sk PRIVATE COMPANY INVESMENT PLACEMENT DR. SHOFFIT CALVIN RICHARD BUSINESS/MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT, 56 TELLMAN SQUARE, KIDBROOKE (SE), LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM. DEAR FRIEND, I AM AN AMERICAN CITIZEN BASED IN LONDON, I HAVE BEEN IN MONEY MANAGEMENT FIELD IN ASIA SINCE 11 YEARS BUT NOW IN UNITED KINGDOM. I HAVE A CLIENT WHO WANTS TO INVEST THE SUM OF US$15MILLION (FIFTEEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS) IN YOUR COUNTRY WHO IS A TOP POLITICIAN IN IRAQ AND NEVER WANT HIS NAME TO BE MENTIONED. CAN YOU HANDLE SUCH A HUGE SUM OF INVESTMENT AND HELP US TO MOVE THIS MONEY TO YOUR COUNTRY THROUGH UN DIPLOMATIC COURIER SERVICE CHANNEL? IF YOU ARE INTERESTED TO BE MY CLIENT'S PARTNER TO INVEST IN YOUR COUNTRY, KINDLY RESPOND WITH YOUR FULL NAMES, ADDRESS, CONTACT NUMBERS AND OCCUPATION, FOR FURTHER DETAILS URGENTLY CONTACT ME VIA MY EMAIL ADDRESS: shocal@centrum.sk REGARDS, DR. SHOFFIT CALVIN RICHARD KINDLY ENSURE TO REPLY ME DIRECTLY TO MY PRIVATE E-MAIL SO THAT I CAN GET YOUR RESPONSE AS I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO ACCESS THIS ACCOUNT OUTSIDE LONDON: shocal@centrum.sk Even more money for me!!!

From : manyindocharles@inmail24.com FREDERICK NZEH WILLIAMS OFFICE ADDRESS: 23 BROAD STREET VICTORIA ISLAND. LAGOS NIGERIA Sir, Greetings to you, with warm heart I offer my friendship, and greetings, and I hope this message meets you in good time. However strange or surprising this contact might seem to you as we have not met personally or had any dealings in the past, I humbly ask that you take due consideration of its importance and the immense benefit it will be to You. After careful consideration, I resolved to contact you assistance in this manner. I duly apologize for your most needed infringing on your privacy, if this contact is not I am acceptable to you, as I make this proposal to you as a person of integrity. I am Barrister Frederick Nzeh Williams; I have a client who bears the Same last name with you and a nationality of your Country who used to work With Chevron Oil Company in Nigeria on the 22nd of May 2005, my Client, his wife and their three children were involved in a car Accident along Lagos Express Road. All occupants of the vehicle Unfortunately lost their lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to your Embassy to locate any of my client's extended relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his relatives over the internet, to locate any member of his family but of no avail, hence I contacted you. I have contacted you to assist me in repatriating the money left behind by my late client before they got confiscated or declared unserviceable by the Finance House where these huge deposits were Lodged. Particularly, the Finance House where the deceased had a consignment valued about Sixty Million United State dollars ($60,000,000.00) . They have issued me a notice to provide the next-of- kin or have the consignment confiscated within the next ten official working days. Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over two year (2) Years now, I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased so that the proceeds of this consignment/funds valued about Sixty Million ($60,000,000.00) can be paid to you and then you and I can share the money, 50% to me and 50% for you. I will work out all the necessary legal documents that can be used to back up this claim , all I require is your honest co-operation to enable us see this transaction through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. Please get in touch with me by my secured and confidential email address immediately you acknowledge the good receipt of this message, do not forget to send me your direct telephone number, so that I can put a call to you for an extensive discussion on this transaction. Pls feel free to email at ( fwilliamschambers1@inMail24.com ) Anticipating your prompt response. Yours Sincerely, Barr Frederick Nzeh williams $30,000,000 for me!!!

From : fun@list.bindaassearch.in Dear Member, Here is a site to browse Beautiful and Glamorous Models from India and abroad. It has huge collection of Models portfolios to view. Just have a look at plenty of Models from all corners of world here. Be There, Nandini Palit Member of what???

From : scsfmof1@8u8.com ATTENTION SIR/MADAM, THIS IS TO OFFICIALLY INFORM YOU THAT WE RECEIVED YOUR PAYMENT FILE THIS MORNING AND WE HAVE VERIFIED YOUR FILE AND FOUND OUT THAT WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR PAYMENT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN COMMUNICATING AND DEALING WITH SOME IMPOSTERS WHO HAS CLAIMED TO BE OFFICIALS OF THE CENTRAL BANK HENCE THEY HAVE BEEN ASKING YOU TO PAY SOME CERTAIN FEES FOR SIGNING OF THE PAPER WORKS WHICH IS NOT TRUE . WE WISH TO ADVISE YOU THAT SUCH AN ILLEGAL ACT LIKE THIS HAVE TO STOP IF YOU WISH TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT SINCE WE HAVE DECIDED TO BRING A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM RIGHT NOW . YOUR PAYMENT FILE IS RIGHT HERE WITH US AND WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT THROUGH OUR A.T.M. SWIFT CARD MODE OF PAYMENT , THAT IS THE LATEST INSTRUCTION FROM HIS EXCELLENCY PRESIDENT UMARU MUSA YARADUA (GCFR) PRESIDENT FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA AND FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE. WE HAVE CONCLUDED EVERY ARRANGEMENT TO SEND THE THE A.T.M. SWIFT CARD TO YOUR ADDRESS UPON THE RECEIPT OF YOUR REPLY TO THIS MAIL TODAY OR TOMORROW SO THAT YOU CAN USE IT TO WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN AMERICA AND OTHER PART OF THE WORLD . NOTE THAT YOU CAN ONLY WITHDRAW TWO THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS PER DAY FROM THE CARD . YOU WILL BE EXPECTED TO GET BACK TO ME UPON THE RECEIPT OF THIS MAIL WHILE WE STILL ADVISE YOU TO STOP FURTHER COMMUNICATION WITH ANYBODY HENCEFORTH WHO CLAIM TO BE ANY OFFICIAL OF BOTH THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE AND CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA. THE ATM CARD MODE OF PAYMENT HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT ($2,300,00000) AS PART PAYMENT FOR THIS FISCAL YEAR 2009 . I REPEAT THAT YOU HAVE TO STOP FURTHER COMMUNICATION WITH ANY OTHER PERSON(S) OR OFFICE(s) TO AVOID ANY HITCHES IN RECEIVING YOUR ATM CARD NOW. WE HEREBY ISSUE YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT, WHICH IS (ATM-811) SO YOU HAVE TO INDICATE THIS CODE WHEN CONTACTING US BY USING IT AS YOUR SUBJECT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS . YOUR'S SINCERELY , DANJUMA JUBRIL MARTIN FOREIGN DEBT SETTLEMENT COMMITTEE A.T.M. CARD PAYMENT UNIT. EH!

Euro Telecom Promotions Inc. / Yahoo Microsoft POWER BALL WINNER!!! DEAR WINNER, [REF Nº: UK-BT / 172 / 09 /2009] [bATCH Nº: F.P.S./BT/147] The management of the Euro Telecom Promotions Inc. in collaboration with Yahoo/Microsoft wishes to congratulate you as one of the winners of “lucky 100” Thunder-Ball quarterly grand promo draw, for the 1st quarter of year 2009. This in effect is to notify you that this email address was randomly selected and entered into our free Third Category draws held today the 15th May, 2009.You have subsequently emerged a winner and therefore entitled to a substantial amount of £372,000.00 (Three hundred & Seventy Two thousand) British Pounds sterling. Please note your winning details as follows: REF: BT/ 17209/2009 BATCH: FPS / BT/147 SERIAL NO: 2 - 7- 2 0 - 5 "POWER-BALLS" 11-17- 18- 25- 30- 37- 44 Bonus 21 To begin your claim, kindly confirm receipt of this email, by forwarding this message to our Regional Claims department with the following questionnaire either by fax or email on the address given below or you may contact the regional claims officer directly via telephone for a quicker processing of your prize claim: QUESTIONAIRE: Full Name: Age: Gender: Occupation: Ref: Batch: Tel/Fax: Email: Country of Origin: Country of residence: REGIONAL CLAIMS OFFICE DETAILS: Contact: Dr. Cedric Willoughby (Regional Claims Manager) Tel: + 44 709 284 9402 Fax: + 44 870 974 0809 Email: claimsonlinedeskoffice@yahoo.co.uk Alternative email: claimsonlinehelpdeskdepartment@yahoo.co.uk Please note that all prize winnings have been highly insured by the UK Old Mutual insurance policy with an insurance certificate issued in your name, as the claims office shall advise you later. In other to circumvent problems associated with fraudulent claims, winners are advised to keep their winning details from third parties to avoid double claim attempts or reach of non-disclosure claim that may jeopardize their prize claim. This is a part of our precautionary measure to avoid any unwarranted abuse of this program and if detected by our monitoring committee will lead to automatic disqualification and prize returned to our lottery pool as unclaimed. This winning automatically qualifies you as Euro Tech Alliance Partner (ETAP) and its benefits thereof. Your Alliance benefits will be explained alongside your Alliance certificate. Congratulations, once again from all our staff thanking you for being part of this promotional program. At your disposal, I remain. Very Truly Yours, MRS. EDITH ALLEN-McPherson (Power-Ball Promotions co-coordinator) Euro Telecom Promo Inc., UK HQTS. The EBT online promotional award is sponsored by Euro Telecom Group PLC in conjunction with a consortium of software promotion companies. The program is held periodically and is organized to encourage the use of the Internet and promote computer literacy worldwide. Copyright? © 1994-2009 The BT online Promotion Inc. All rights reserved. Terms of Service -Guideline. WARNING! Do not disclose the information’s contained therein to others about your Prize Award until your prize monies is successful handed over to you to avoid disqualification that may arise from double claims. You may also receive similar e-mails from people portraying to be other Organizations or Yahoo Inc. This is solely to collect your personal/winning information’s and lay claim over such winning. In an event of receiving any e-mail similar to this notification letter as dispatched from this office, kindly delete it from your mail box and give no further correspondence to such person or body. Yahoo shall not be held responsible for any loss of fund arising from the above mentioned. The information in this e-mail (which includes any attachments transmitted with it) is confidential and may be legally privileged. It is intended solely for the addressee. If you are not the intended recipient, any disclosure, copying, distribution of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. The views and opinions expressed in this e-mail are those of the sending authority or lottery board. If you have received this e-mail in error, please do not read it, notify the lottery board and delete the e-mail from your system. The Lottery board cannot assure that the integrity of this communication has been maintained or that it is free of error, viruses, interception or interference. While The Lottery Board has taken all reasonable precautions to ensure that no viruses are present in this e-mail, the lottery board cannot accept liability for any loss or damage arising from the use of the e-mail. You are accordingly encouraged to keep the information’s contained therein confidential and also carry out your own virus checks prior to opening same. Lucky Me, but I didn't enter anything

Well......you see, there's you, and then I do ALL the other posts. And me now

From : e-bankingalert@alliance-leicester.co.uk Dear Valued Customer, We recently reviewed your account, and we are suspecting that your Internet Banking account may have been accessed from an unauthorized computer. This may be due to changes in your IP addresss or location. Protecting the security of your account and of the Alliance-Leicester Bank networks is our primary concern. We are asking you to immediately login and report any unauthorized withdrawals, and check your account profile to make sure that no changes has been made. Please click on the following link to verify your account activity. Restore Your Account Access. Your security is our priority . . . Alliance-Leicester I got very suspicious as I don't have an Alliance-Leicester account.

From : tfswawahyyi@lomas.ab.ca Play like royalty To be royal is to lead. To lead, you must win. To win, you must play! Play like royalty at Royal Planet Casino. Then some address to a site

Mr/Mrs Onthedoor, Can I point out the word is predictable not predictible and aren't not arn't. I hate to correct you twice in a post. There is a very useful utility called “Microsoft Word” that checks your spelling. Now if you leave your address such that I can send my invoice for this invaluable information, it will help prevent your embarrassing spelling problem. Should you have any other problems the Grim Reaper will be round to facilitate a solution as you have usefully given your address. However I am not sure how much he charges for his services. Dear Saint Peter, have you any idea how much Microsoft Word costs? No? Neither have I, but I'm pretty sure it's quite an expensive way of checking your spelling. If you use Firefox you can get a spell checker add on (in British English) for free. But that would be unlikely to interest our ranting friend. Dear Notapotato, Thanks. I now feel cheated by one Mr Bill Gates. Actually we all probably do ...

Oh Shucks, Thanks.

Mr/Mrs Onthedoor, Can I point out the word is predictable not predictible and aren't not arn't. I hate to correct you twice in a post. There is a very useful utility called “Microsoft Word” that checks your spelling. Now if you leave your address such that I can send my invoice for this invaluable information, it will help prevent your embarrassing spelling problem. Should you have any other problems the Grim Reaper will be round to facilitate a solution as you have usefully given your address. However I am not sure how much he charges for his services.

I love the ranters. They get so wound up that they forget how to spell Or maybe they are just a little thick.....

Sausage up a close comes mind or a garage for a mini.

Watched "Question Time" on the beeb last night There was a mention of websites that were predicting her death date . tut tut. Thank god Dl is not predicting her death.

Confirmed by the BEEB Looks like the Grim Reaper is making his travel arrangements at the moment

It looks like Grim Reaper is now peeping from behind the curtains. If she survives '09 she will be a definite '10. My bet is '09, DL miss. Bugger!!

Were you one of the Fuzzy Wuzzies in the film "Zulu" ? I would like to see what the release from Buck House was explaining his cheeky gaff !!!

According to the BEEB News his big impact on day one hardly lived to it's hype. Some of the spin doctors will need to get some Brasso out to shine the tarnish. There was a great quote "This the second thing he has ever headed up, the first was his presidential campaign". So he has the perfect CV with not even had run a 2 pence raffle before. Unless he carries out some serious hard hitting policies the US is going to slide into a financial and foriegn policy melt down. I won't hold my breath.

A "rugby ball" sized tumor. Amazing she never noticed anything!!!

The telling words are the fact it has spread. Once the Big C has moved from it's primary site, usually means means the final curtain is not long behind. However Lance Armstrong somehow managed to pull himself back from the brink with secondary cancers. Maybe Jade will be one of the "Lucky" ones. She has had pretty good luck so far; being a talentless, bigoted, thick and ugly twat!! I've seen quite a few twats and very few are ugly