Raskolnikov

Well that's thrown a couple of spanners into the spokes of Banshees' welcome wagon! Thanks for the advice BS, but judging by the tidal wave of derision you seem to attract around here, I think I'll take my chances and tread my own path.

Well I'm sorry that my word alone is not enough. It's funny, I always considered myself quite a cynical person, but some people on here take cynicism to a whole new level. And seeing as I'm probably going to be dogged by these suspicions for the forseeable future, I guess I'm just going to have to take a positive view of the situation and accept it as a backhanded compliment in that it implies I've fitted in reasonably well. If nothing else, it's reassuring to know that I'm not the first person to have had the finger of suspicion pointed at me.

Am I bringing back bad memories for you or something? I mention him, because anyone with even a passing interest in the DL will probably be aware of his existence, (if you like blame Godot for linking several of last year's monkey awards to his posts) and whilst I don't agree with the way he seemed to actively seek out hostilities with other members, I do have some sympathy with his views. I named and shamed 'ethnic cleansing' the other day as someone who seems to have little or no grasp of the search facility, and they have gone and proved my point once again today by 'announcing' the death of Willem Kolff some 10 hours after it was first noted. Either they are the alias of a regular member who is just on the wind up (or even Deadly Doug!), or they have insufficient grey cells to provide any sort of worth in the long run, and thus should be humanely put down now by a short sharp rebuke, preferably by someone with more authority on these boards than myself. I do realise that I'm laying myself wide open to accusations of having ideas above my station so soon after having joined the forum, but stupidity is ten a penny on most forums and I really would rather see this forum bereft of base ineptness. Not at all. I got on fine with SC, I get on fine with most people here, I just thought it odd that someone who has been here for about 6 weeks brought his name into it and it just made me wonder if perhaps you are yet another old regular hiding under a new name, or perhaps you're trying to further ingratiate yourself by picking up on in-jokes from the past or maybe you are sad enough to have read all of SC's posts. Perhaps you were just trying to pick fight, in which case, I've fallen straight into your trap. To be honest your "I'm only a newbie, but...." mantra is as tiring as "I'm not being funny, but.." and certainly as irritating as the likes of ethnic cleansing et al. Well that's quite an assortment of potential accusations you've levelled at me there, so allow me to respond to them one by one. 1. Being an old regular hiding behind a different name - No. This isn't the first time someone has suggested that about me, and call me naive but I hadn't realised the trend of using multiple persona's on these boards was so prevalent. I can only reiterate that I'm a genuinely new member (who did lurk for a while admittedly), and that this is my only username. 2. Trying to ingratiate myself - How? And with who? It seems that you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't when engaging with regular posters around here. If you keep your head down and surface only to post death notices for obscure non-entities then you're just another low impact newbie. And yet if you actively try and join in, offer opinions, and, heaven forbid, make reference to someone who was 'before your time' then it's seen as trying to ingratiate yourself. All I'll say in my defence is that I don't have any grand scheme to try and curry favour with particular members. Believe it or not, I'm a pretty easy-going sort of person and I intend and expect to get on with most people here. 3. Being sad enough to have read all of Star Crossed's posts - I've no doubt certain people think me sad, but I'm not nearly sad enough to go to the lengths you've implied there. A quick skim through the Patrick Moore thread and one or two others should be enough to give anyone a decent grounding in SC's views. 4. Trying to pick a fight with you - Hardly. I didn't think my post was particularly antagonistic towards you. In fact, only the first line was directed at you and even then it was intended to be facetious. 5. Making constant reference to myself as a newcomer - OK. Criticism accepted. I shall hereafter make no further mention of my lower-caste status on these boards.

Am I bringing back bad memories for you or something? I mention him, because anyone with even a passing interest in the DL will probably be aware of his existence, (if you like blame Godot for linking several of last year's monkey awards to his posts) and whilst I don't agree with the way he seemed to actively seek out hostilities with other members, I do have some sympathy with his views. I named and shamed 'ethnic cleansing' the other day as someone who seems to have little or no grasp of the search facility, and they have gone and proved my point once again today by 'announcing' the death of Willem Kolff some 10 hours after it was first noted. Either they are the alias of a regular member who is just on the wind up (or even Deadly Doug!), or they have insufficient grey cells to provide any sort of worth in the long run, and thus should be humanely put down now by a short sharp rebuke, preferably by someone with more authority on these boards than myself. I do realise that I'm laying myself wide open to accusations of having ideas above my station so soon after having joined the forum, but stupidity is ten a penny on most forums and I really would rather see this forum bereft of base ineptness.

The suicide rate may have dropped in recent months, but teenagers continue to die in the vicinity of Bridgend.

Someone who I think would make prime DL material, and who I'm amazed to see has barely been mentioned before is travel writer Patrick Leigh Fermor, who turned 94 today, and who, it is fair to say, has had a rather eventful life. Not only is he widely regarded as Britain's greatest living travel writer, he also distinguished himself in WW2 when, as an SOE agent, he kidnapped the German commander in Crete. This episode was then made into the film Ill Met by Moonlight in which he was played by Dirk Bogarde. Post war he embarked on his writing career and established a correspondence with the Duchess of Devonshire* which has lasted right up to the present day. The most recent update I've found on him is this interview with the Telegraph from last Autumn which is worth a read if you've got a spare 10 minutes, though from a deadpooler's point of view, the following extract is probably the most useful: * Who is the last remaining Mitford sister, and imho another potential DL candidate in the future.

Perhaps this is just me suffering the effects of being both drunk and bored but the comments made by Harry and TMIB earlier about this forum becoming too genteel has really struck a chord with me. Far be it for me as a newcomer on this forum to dictate how things should be done, but there does seem to be rather too much tolerance given towards pointless posts made (more often then not) by timid newcomers. For example, just yesterday, a newcomer by the name of 'ethnic cleansing' posted twice in quick succession in the Dead of 2009 thread, both times reporting the deaths of people who had already been reported on. The response? A somewhat tepid and mild mannered rebuke, which has probably done little to put that same person off doing the same in the future. Now I'm not advocating a return to the days of Star Crossed mercilessly laying in to whichever unsuspecting victim took his fancy, and I know it's always good to encourage newcomers, but surely we need to start knocking a firmer line in the direction of nothing posts by people who haven't bothered to suss the ways and means of this forum before they start typing. Perhaps we should adopt this helpful blueprint for new members which Godot put together last year? Thoughts or otherwise? (apart from the fact that this is quite possibly drunken b*llocks).

Well what a strange individual CerealK turned out to be. Bursting onto the scene, seemingly with so much to say for themselves, and then retreating faster than the Italian army as soon as they came up against some opposition. CerealK. As you can probably infer, I'm fairly new around here myself, and whilst I don't doubt that your sentiments towards Mandela are sincere, you really shouldn't need to be a member of mensa to work out (preferably before you start posting) that if you're going to post sanctimonious rubbish then there are probably better forums out there on which to do so. However, if you are genuinely from South Africa, then perhaps you can make yourself useful on this forum by becoming our on the spot reporter for Mandela. Or, if you're feeling really adventurous, perhaps you might like to run some cross border sorties into Zimbabwe to give us the very latest on Mugabe. I'm pretty sure there's no ban on Deathlist.net reporting from inside his regime, and who knows, if you keep your head down and don't fall prone to any sudden outbursts, you'll probably make it out safely, thus enabling you to pass your findings on to us. However, if you can't/won't accept this offer, then (judging by your inspired portfolio of 3 posts) it's probably in the best interests of all concerned if you take LFN's advice and simply f**k off.

Reasons to laugh at John Terry #128 He looks like a trannie!

Blatter and Havelange arm in arm during a visit to the new South American Football Museum last week. A heart warming sight I'm sure you'll all agree... On a serious note, he doesn't look too bad for a man of 92, and as TAFKAG said above, judging by his relatively frequent appearances at these social functions, his health would appear to be decent.

Sorry it's taken me so long to post my victory speech. I'd like to be able to say I've spent the last two days in a euphoric haze, celebrating my win by going on a bender that Oliver Reed would have been proud of, but the sad truth is I spent most of Monday failing to escape from Kent, and most of yesterday and today at work. Thankyou MPFC for organising the Deathrace. I am truly humbled to be its inaugural champion. I'll take a rain check on that Carlisle United book, but were you to conjure up some sort of cheap, tacky trophy/ornament, of the variety that wouldn't look out of place in Pound Land (and possibly with the face of Sly Stallone himself on it) then you might be onto a winner. Thankyou also to eejit for providing such stiff opposition, and for ensuring that the vindictive, bitter attitude that I tend to display following defeat was not lost to these pages.

Laugh at the misfortune of others. And people say this forum can be cruel!

Now that's what I call dying to go to the toilet.

Sir Bobby was well enough to brave the cold and attend the Tyne-Wear derby yesterday, although on the odd occasion the camera panned across him in the crowd, he appeared gaunt and very, very frail. Sadly, I don't think he's going to see 2010.

And here we are.

Another veteran of France '98, Serbian striker Darko Kovacevic, is also not in the best of health. The ex Juventus, Lazio, and Sheffield Wednesday(!) player underwent heart surgery a couple of weeks ago, and although the doctors are pleased with how the operation went, he might be worth keeping an eye on, especially if he decides to resume his career.

Harry Redknapp's media strategy.

The BBC are claiming that the last surviving Irish fighter of the International Brigade in the Spanish Civil War has died. Now you'll excuse me for referring to wikipedia on this matter, but they suggest that there is another surviving Irishman who fought (Paddy Cochrane), and in all, there are roughly 35 people still alive who fought in the conflict of which over half are British! Two things. Firstly, I'm amazed that British survivors currently outnumber Spanish ones by a ratio of nearly 5 to 1. And secondly, the most notable British survivor still alive is one Jack Jones. But not this one...

Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh who is 76, is to undergo heart bypass surgery for the second time over the weekend. Could be a unique hit on the DDP for 'Death-Defying' if things get messy.

While we all wait for Mr Swayze to succumb to pancreatic cancer, one man who has lost his fight with it is David 'Fathead' Newman, who was a key member of Ray Charles' band for 12 years in the 50's and 60's, being described as its "star tenor sax soloist" no less.

Seve is optimistic on his health. Well, he would say that wouldn't he, but I do think it's becoming increasingly likely that he'll turn out to be the Russell Watson of this years list.

If ever a story was guaranteed to cheer you up/mildly amuse you, it could well be this one about Mr Jacques Chirac.

Turns out Ted was just feeling a bit tired. If that's how he reacts to feeling tired, then it must be quite a pantomime just before he goes to bed every night.

Ha. Way to rain on Obama's parade.