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Everything posted by Spade_Cooley

  1. Spade_Cooley

    Deathlist Cup 2023

    The one cup that cannot be accused of sportswashing is back. The Deathlist Cup is a series of 100m sprints compared to the marathon that is the DDP, and has been won by all the deadpooling greats: deadsox, DDT, An Fear Beag, gcreptile, my good self, and Joey Russ. Will we be engraving yet another name on the trophy in 2023, or will someone finally become the first two-time winner? Here's the rules, which I've surely left an error c+p-ing from last year. The Deathlist Cup   1. This is a knockout tournament featuring one-on-one matchups between Deathlist forum posters. These matches will be determined by use of a random draw, using Random.org.   2. Unless we happen to end up with 2/4/8/16/32/64 entrants, then certain competitors will get byes to the Second Round. This will be based on results from the 2022 Cup: ie, winners first. 3. Players, on receiving their randomly drawn opponent, will have a ten day period to send the Referee their First Eleven for the match by PM, and one sub in case of an early death. These eleven picks can be very low hanging fruit if you so wish, as the point of the game is to score as many “goals” during the month a match is played. ie, a perfect team would look like this 1. Adam Ant (joker) 2. Bob Backlund 3. Chelsea Clinton 4. Didier Drogba 5. Erika Eleniak 6. Frank Field 7. Green Gartside  8. Harry Hill  9. Ilias Iliadis (gold medal winner in the men's 81kg judo at the 2004 Olympics) 10. Joe Jackson 11. Kevin Keegan subs 12. Lennox Lewis 13. Meghan McCain 14. Nick Nolte 4. Banned picks – We're slightly more lenient than the DDP, but we're still banning Famous For Being Ill, people on Death Row (unless they die naturally), anyone who is a prisoner of a terrorist organisation, animals, the under 18s, and anyone who is "missing in action" but blatantly already dead. 5. Famous For Being Ill picks are those who have no notoriety outside of their cancer/other illness. If they played two matches for a Conference North team or they were mayor of a city in Kiribati back in the 90s, that's fine. If they're Joe Bloggs who is in a coma after refusing a covid vaccine or a Brave Parent Celebrating Their Last Christmas, they're not getting accepted.   6. If in doubt, submit a pick, but the decision of the ref (me) is final and is not open to any court of appeal. If you think it’s a dodgy pick, it probably is. 7. Each match will take place over the course of a single month. For example, a February match would take place from February 1st to February 28th, a March match from March 1st to March 31st and so on... 8. Games will be scored in the following manner: A person in your team dies = 3 points A unique person in your team dies = 1 more point (ie 1 bonus point) Fatality – Your joker. Double points  9. Here is what happens in the case of a team member dying prematurely (ie on 28th Feb for the March game). If you discover this before the 3rd of the month, your top sub will automatically go into place. If it is discovered on the 3rd or after, sorry about your luck. If it turns out the person was dead and known to be (this is determined via a reference in a newspaper or magazine, not social media) then subs don’t come into play. This will upset at least one player a year. Will it lead to a huffy forum stormout in 2023? Let's see. 10. At the end of the month, the player in the match with the highest score wins that game, and will advance to the next round. The player who doesn’t have the highest score will lose, and be eliminated. 11. In the event of a draw, the following tiebreaks will be used:   1st tiebreak = number of hits 2nd tiebreak = average age of hits 3rd tiebreak = a coin toss   12. A player is only held to one team for a single match. If they win their match and advance to the next round, they may pick eleven entirely different people for the next round. In this way, folk who announce their terminal illness in, say, May, can be put to good dead pooling use. 13. Qualifying obits? Every single English-language newspaper, magazine or significant website in the universe. Also Le Monde, Le Figaro, Der Spiegel, Die Zeit, El Pais, El Mundo and Corriere Della Sera. If they still can't get a QO from that, then they really weren't famous. 14. For the removal of any doubt, any players who do not send in their team before the deadline will be DQ'd and replaced by the highest scoring loser. No matter how many sad PMs you send afterwards.  This draw takes place in Month 1 (ie January) and is for matches taking place in Month 2 (February). After the draw, each player sends me (via PM) a team of eleven celebrities (and some subs hopefully) they think will snuff it in Month 2.   Good luck and sign up to take part in this thread. Entries close on January 21 with the draw to take place immediately after.
  2. Spade_Cooley

    Deathlist Cup 2023

    There is a strain of annoyance unique to the DL Cup, when the clever, obscure pick you unearthed is picked by only one other person - and they're your opponent. Still, I don't fancy Casey Quinlan's chances of seeing Easter.
  3. Spade_Cooley

    The 100 Club

    A thread for people who have passed the age of 100 but have (very, very) faint claims to fame other than "just being old". The lifeblood of many a DDP theme team, really, may as well get them all in one place. Plus it gives me an excuse to have a regular meeting point for two of my favourites: 110-year-old paranormal investigator Alexander Imich and 107-year-old financier Irving Kahn, who apparently still goes to work daily. Check out his current stock portfolio here. Anyway, so here's where we can rhapsodise about Run Run Shaw, Roy Douglas and Vo Nguyen Giap and the many public appearances they'll no doubt be making in the near future. One of the leading actors of the pre-blaxploitation era cowboy "race movies", Herb Jeffries, just turned 100.
  4. Spade_Cooley

    Deathlist Cup 2023

    And here is the draw for the quarter finals of the Deathlist Cup, as sponsored by "Vote Ferrier for Rutherglen and Hamilton": WINNER gcreptile vs SpadeCooley vs WINNER deadsox vs MariNisia WINNER Hell vs alt obits guy vs WINNER Grim Up North vs CaptainChorizo WINNER Banana vs Sir Cunto vs WINNER msc vs wannamaker WINNER Annami vs DevonDeathTrip vs WINNER An Fear Baeg vs Captain Hemlock
  5. Spade_Cooley

    Deathlist Cup 2023

    Thanks to all who participated, and thanks to the four additional teams who all offered their services as replacements in case someone decided to have an early night. There's always next year, lads. Anyway, as stated previously, I am on holiday for four days, but I couldn't leave you without getting the basics out there. Here are the 66 names that matter for the next 30 days: ”Superstar” Billy Graham ANN, GUN, MSC, MAR, WAN, SOX, BAN, AFB, SIR Bernadette Chirac MSC, CHO, DDT Black Bart SPA, MSG, AOG Brian Barczyk DDT Brian O'Donovan DDT Butch Pedersen GUN*, AOG*, GCR, BAN*, DDT* Casey Quinlan GCR, SPA Chiam See Tong CHO Christy Dignam SOX, GUN, MSC, MAR, HEL, ANN, GCR, BAN, DDT Clive Barker BAN Dakota Fred Hurt SPA Daniel Barenboim HEM Daniel Ellsberg MSC, AOG, DDT Daniel N. Paul AOG David Simister WAN Denny Crum GUN, AFB Father Igumen Leonty SIR* Frank Field HEL, HEM, AOG, ANN, CHO, SIR Frank Gilliam GCR* Gautam Dhingra AFB George Alagiah HEM Gloria Molina SIR, SPA, AOG, GCR, DDT Graham Caveney SPA, MSC, ANN, AFB Guatam Dinghra SIR James Whale GUN, HEM, HEL, ANN, BAN Jango Edwards CHO Jimmy Carter GUN, SPA, HEM, MSC, AOG, MAR, HEL, WAN, SOX*, GCR, SIR, BAN, DDT, AFB, ANN*, CHO* Joanne Woodward HEM, MAR John Farnham MAR Johnny Ruffo MAR* Jonnie Irwin AOG, HEL, WAN, ANN, DDT Juan Vicente Perez Mora SOX Karen Mayne HEM Kazimierz Klimczak CHO Linda Nolan WAN Malachy McCourt BAN Margaret Read SIR Maria Branyas SOX Martti J. Kari HEL Marty Ruley SIR, BAN Mikheil Saakashvili AOG Mister Mekotur SPA Muazzez İlmiye Çığ CHO Nigel Starmer-Smith MSC Oscar Wyatt CHO Paul Auster SPA Paul Vachon GUN Princess Bajrakitiyabha WAN, ANN, SOX, SIR Rachel Pollack SPA*, MSC, SOX, GCR, HEL*, WAN* Robert Zimmer GUN Roberto Chale SOX Rocket Norton SOX Rolf Harris HEM, MAR, HEL, WAN, ANN, SOX, GCR, SIR, BAN, DDT, AFB Roman Kostomarov GUN, MAR, AFBANN Sarath Badu GCR Simon Cowell (not that one) CHO, SOX, WAN, MAR, HEL, ANN Steve "Mongo" McMichael SPA, MSC*, MAR, CHO, ANN, HEM, HEL, AFB Sudhir Naik GUN, SPA, AOG, HEL, WAN, GCR, BAN, AFB Sulochana Latkar SIR Swami Smaranananda AFB Teresa Taylor MAR, BAN, GUN, MSC, WAN, GCR, AFB Thomas F. Maniscalco AOG Tim Keller DDT Violeta Chamorro HEM Walid Daqqa HEM* Whitey Von Nieda CHO
  6. Spade_Cooley

    Deathlist Cup 2023

    Only two teams left to come in, so hopefully we should have the full complement.
  7. Spade_Cooley

    Deathlist Cup 2023

    Three, which is insane.
  8. Spade_Cooley

    Deathlist Cup 2023

    I'm retarded, yes. It's not been a banner month for me in the cognitive stakes.
  9. Spade_Cooley

    Deathlist Cup 2023

    If they are AWOL ... @Sideik would be our highest-scoring loser of this round (again with @TheKillingTime missing out on number of hits), so it might be an idea for them to throw together a scrub team just in case they're required...
  10. Spade_Cooley

    Deathlist Cup 2023

    A Wan Haifeng QO in the next 12 hours and 10 minutes will put me out and @JoeMoneypenny through... Although the fact he hasn't logged on for 31 days is a concern...
  11. Spade_Cooley

    Time Added

    Sofian Kiyine, former Serie A and Morocco U21 midfielder currently plying his trade in Belgium, making headlines for driving his car at 200mph and then this happened: Luckily the building he ploughed into, a school gym, was empty at the time. He's hospitalized but injuries are apparently not life-threatening.
  12. Spade_Cooley

    Death, Italian Style

    Alfio Cantarella, drummer for 60s Italian beatpop act Equipe 84, dead at 841. Very popular with those online radio stations and Spotify playlist types who love "famous English song but sung in a foreign language" covers. Here's them doing "Goodbye Blackberry Way"
  13. Spade_Cooley

    Death, Italian Style

    Alright, there's enough of us on here now to have earned our own topic. Andrea Camilleri, Topo Gigio creator Maria Perego, Nico Fidenco, Omero Antonutti... this is where they go when they experience La Dolce Morte.
  14. Spade_Cooley

    Deathlist Cup 2023

    Right, my team for the next round is in the custody of Joey, so I guess entries are now open.
  15. Spade_Cooley

    Deathlist Cup 2023

    And it's "bap's out" for the DL Cup, thanks to the death of former guardian minister of Maharashtra Girish Bapat. Grim Up North becomes top scorer for the round, while Arghton scores a futile consolation. gcreptile 17 vs Arghton 3 alt obits guy 9 vs YorkshireBanker 0 deadsox 7 vs Gooseberry Crumble 0 The Old Crem 3 vs Banana 9 diego 3 vs Sir Cunto 9 Sideik 6 vs wannamaker 9 GuyFromFuture 0 vs CaptainChorizo 6 CalebH 0 vs Captain Hemlock 6 BabyBlue 0 vs Annami 6 Hell 6 vs LizLemon 0 Perhaps 9 vs Grim Up North 19 An Fear Baeg 6 vs Pop_Zeus 0 ladyfiona 3 vs DevonDeathTrip 6 SpadeCooley 6 vs JoeMoneypenny 3 TQR 9 vs MariNisia 9 msc 6 vs TheKillingTime 6
  16. Spade_Cooley

    Lara Roxx

  17. Spade_Cooley

    Last appearances

    Could easily do this with a bunch of wrestlers, so I'll just contribute Chris Benoit and bounce:
  18. Spade_Cooley

    Comedians & Comedy Writers

  19. Spade_Cooley

    Lara Roxx

    Weird how little traction his death has garnered. He was probably one of the three most famous porn stars in the world during his heyday, and his arrest/imprisonment was a big news story when it happened. But yeah, rot in piss.
  20. Spade_Cooley

    Deathlist Cup 2023

    Yep, with Jon Bruce and Zhong Yiren both currently failing the QO test, it's down to PSV Eindhoven press spokesman Thijs Slegers to bring some life (death) to this round of cup action. Slegers was diagnosed with acute leukemia in 2020 and subsequently underwent a stem cell transplant, but last month discovered his body had rejected it and had very little time left on this planet. His story received plenty of attention in the Netherlands, sparking a stem cell recruitment drive across the country, and even got some publicity in the UK thanks to Zlatan Ibrahimovic declaring Slegers his "only friend in Holland". The big-nosed choker yet again failed to secure a victory when it mattered though, as Slegers died at 46. Grim Up North goes 7 points up over Perhaps as a result. The hunt for a Zhong Yiren QO could prove decisive: msc is currently beating TheKillingTime by dint of having more hits, but any news source in English confirming ZY's death would send TKT through. gcreptile 17 vs Arghton 0 alt obits guy 9 vs YorkshireBanker 0 deadsox 7 vs Gooseberry Crumble 0 The Old Crem 3 vs Banana 9 diego 3 vs Sir Cunto 9 Sideik 6 vs wannamaker 9 GuyFromFuture 0 vs CaptainChorizo 6 CalebH 0 vs Captain Hemlock 6 BabyBlue 0 vs Annami 6 Hell 6 vs LizLemon 0 Perhaps 9 vs Grim Up North 16 An Fear Baeg 6 vs Pop_Zeus 0 ladyfiona 3 vs DevonDeathTrip 6 SpadeCooley 6 vs JoeMoneypenny 3 TQR 9 vs MariNisia 9 msc 6 vs TheKillingTime 6
  21. Spade_Cooley

    Deathlist Cup 2023

    The dry patch does tally with what I was thinking at the end of last year, that this wasn't going to be a high-scoring year for dead-pooling at all. 2020 cleared out a lot of the generic "elderly and old people illnesses" with COVID, and 21/22 saw people diagnosed with cancer over that time dying sooner because of the hospital backlogs. Now everything's back to normal, we're almost starting with a game reset.
  22. Spade_Cooley

    Deathlist Cup 2023

    I'll do an update and calculate who actually goes through in the current draws later on tonight. End of the month has really snuck up on us.
  23. Spade_Cooley


    Didn't know whether to put this here, Detective Work or Fringes of Fame, but..... Some may be familiar with the late 70s proto-reality TV show The Big Time, in which current deadpooler short-lister Esther Rantzer sent Joe Public out to do the jobs of celebrities. It gave Sheena Easton her big break, most famously. Those with an interest in British wrestling history would best remember it as the show where a teacher by the name of Keith Rawlinson was "trained" as a professional wrestler, except nobody told him it was fake and the wrestlers proceeded to beat the living piss out of him for 12 weeks or so until he was hospitalised. What a prank. Anyway, I've managed to find Mr Rawlinson online, in a Facebook post from The Bible Society talking about how seven years ago he was diagnosed with cancer but his faith helped send it into remission. Looking a bit Keith Barron as well.
  24. Spade_Cooley

    Dead Pop Stars

    Her death would be a terrible loss for the white black Asian (this week) community.
  25. Spade_Cooley

    Dying Off The Radar

    A catch-all thread I've been toying around with for a bit, for when you get stuck down a research hole and find someone of (minor) fame died a few years back with no mention on here, or indeed in the wider media. Anne Sellors, a Sheffield-based drama teacher who shot to viral internet fame due to her IMDB page containing one solitary credit - Woman Who Urinates on Herself in legendary TV movie Threads - died in 2015 aged 63. Also dying in 2015, this time at the age of 58, Labj Janjua. A journeyman singer for numerous Bollywood movies, a song he recorded for the 1997 film Legalised - "Mundian To Bach Ke" - was remixed by Panjabi MC and rereleased in 2002, going to #1 across the world (#2 in the UK) and selling over 10 million copies. And yet no mention outside of Indian-language entertainment press at the time of his passing.

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