Windsor

Animal charity adverts and general campaigning. Not content with fleecing you for all that your worth, they also guilt trip you into giving. They show animals suffering on the TV screen then we are greeted with the message: 'Turn the channel if you want, but this will not go away' (paraphrase). The other thing they do is they show you some animal that has been badly abused and tell you what all has happened to it culminating with the question, "Is that ok with you?". Ofcourse it's not alright with me - doesn't mean I have to give you two pounds a month. Bastards.

Lady G - you have opened up a world of opportunity to me! Sorry Lard B, this means your biological mother is dumped. I have been introduced to a number of whores but I'm afraid I had to turn them down - whorish behaviour starts young in Fraserburgh. On one occasion a younger female employee took my mobile number off the contact sheet at work and was rather suggestive by text. It was all looking good until I found out who she was and how old she was. Prison isn't a turn on (nor was the excessive use of make-up). She looked like a panda, and I don't mean cute. My workplace seems to be young-whore central. It reminds me of the South Park episode featuring Paris Hilton. Among the employees there is a 14 year old girl who is currently seeing a 17/18 year old guy. She has done the rounds. She boasts of her conquests at school including where her ex-boyfriend's fingers may or may not have ended up. That boyfriend was 13 years old. I particularly dislike this girl because she is a regular church goer. Indeed, she is a young Sunday School teacher and part of the Holy youth group that is the 'Covenanters' (who said sectarianism was dead?). Her mother is my sub-boss so when I quit slutty-ann may find herself in a bit of bother. I can remember that I predicted that she would become a whore. I was right. She looks like a chav and I would really like it if she would curl up and die. Thus ends this Chronicle of Fraserburgh.

People actually move to Fraserburgh? I have two questions for you. Is she a crack addict? And when was her last appearance on the Jeremey Kyle Show?

A vote for the SNP is a vote for health and Education.

Scum Bag Scum Bag I bet they give you dirty looks as your walking out. No. They know better. If they did that I'd have them fired. I'd go back and do a big greener in my food and simply blame it on the one who was giving me dirty looks...

If he really wanted a place in heaven he would give up Roman Catholicism.

The gore levels were too much for me. At one point they showed a photo of Mohammed Al Fayed!

I don't have any tipping issues. I just generally don't tip. They are getting paid aren't they? When we got our milk delivered, the milkboy would get a tip mainly because of his shitty hours. I was always against it because milk boys generally get paid more than your under-16 age group. The paper boy only gets a tip at Christmas on account of the cold weather. Also, it is christmas - you have to pretend that you are cheery and made of money.

In my dictionary, Phillip is a Nazi. I'll go by German since it means so much to everyone. For the record, if you are German it does not mean you are a Nazi, but I enjoy calling Phillip a Nazi. Got it? Why? Where is the enjoyment in that? Is he your hero or something? Afterall, less than a week ago you said that Gordon Brown looked like a 'miserable jew'. Is it anti-semites unite?

No you didn't. Ask footballfan - he is the one who made it popular. I happen to think it's cheesy and so don't use it. Same with people who refer the the dead as the 'Class of' whatever year it is. But still - I'm sure my phrases annoy people. Assuming people still bother to read my posts.

The new Big Brother race row. It's pathetic. I feel some discretion should have been used given the context in which the word was used. Yes, it is a horrible word which can be offensive. The problem with that particular word is that the usage of it can be confusing. For example, you would not use it when chatting to Nelson Mandela or Trevor McDonald. Today's youth culture has put a new spin on the word. Indeed, it is often used as a trendy phrase in certain company (with no offensive intent). Had it been another black person who directed that comment, nothing would have been made of it. In my opinion the word should not be off limits to white people if no racial discrimination is meant. Quite frankly, I think that the bitch it was directed towards has made an arse of the black community. She is not and was not offended. She played it up hopong to become the next Shilpa Shetty. I don't watch Big Brother. Honest...

Fantastic article, Lady G. Personally I stopped reading at the first line. King Edward VIII abdicated in December 1936. Banshees, you have a cheek. You have a pop at the Jews at every possible opportunity. You also need to learn the difference between 'German' and 'Nazi'. Going by your standard the entire population of Germany must be Nazi because they are all German.

Completely untrue. Not buying it. He is accusing the Nazi Royal Family of killing his son for that purpose, it's not his doing. If anybody used this as an example in the paper clearly they are looking for a story and they are trying to get their name out there, under straight up false circumstances. Story Junkie Bastards. At least write something people will believe for god sakes. So how is it that you are so sure that Prince Philip is a murderer for the same but reversed reason as this? There is no proof bar a claim from the Princess of Wales who was quite obviously paranoid in nature. People only believe what Al Fayed says because they want to. They want to make Diana into some kind of fairytale when she is in fact, just a tasetless slapper whose car crashed. There was no conspiracy. Only to the people closest to her because it helps line their pockets. I see you are still calling the Royal Family 'Nazi' when it's two most senior members were involved in the war effort against the Nazis.

Indeed, the whole feedback system is annoying. I only buy on ebay, I don't sell. As a buyer, my transactions are complete before those of the seller (I pay before the item is sent). Even though my transaction finished two or so days before theirs, most of the time I'm the first to give feedback. They should be leaving feedback first.

When you buy things on ebay, and leave feedback, you get this message: How annoying is that? Makes it sound like it should be a challenge for the average ebay user. I think it's an insult to the masses of ebay users. Bastards.

I watched the new documentary tonight. Personally, I can't see what all the fuss is about. What interested me was the fact that immediately after the crash, Al Fayed was very keen to nail the photographers in the Court. Now, after not getting the verdict he was hoping for, he is in persuit of the Royal Family. In my opinion, he is trying to keep the blame from his doorstep. Although I don't believe in conspiracy theories (it was a car crash caused by drink and speed), I think the Royal Family should lower their level and accuse Al Fayed. Possible conspiracies: 1: Mr Al Fayed is trying to cover up the fact that one of his employees is responsible for the death of both his son, and the Princess of Wales. 2: Mr Al Fayed drugged his own driver in order to cause death. He did not want his son to marry a non-Halibut bride and was unhappy at the fact that a non-Halibut was carrying his future grandson. 3: Mr Al Fayed staged the whole press situation. It was he who alerted certain members of the press of the new route through the tunnel. His intention was for his son and Diana to be seen leaving the Ritz together that evening. I have just about as much evidence as Mr Al Fayed, so I'll look forward to seeing his three QCs in Court. I found it quite funny that this 'justice' Mr Al Fayed is chasing will not be good enough for him unless it is served at Court Room number one. Shows that he is not after 'justice' - just headlines.

A huge loss to the sport. He had been very ill, but we had all hoped he would pull through. So how many of you had him on deadpools then?

His father was a presbyterian minister - so I suppose that makes sense. If I'm not mistaken, it was down to Knox and his pals that Christmas was not an official celebration in Scotland from 1560 to 1958.

I meant this one:

Personally, I prefer the first logo. Besides, London will be hosting something even more special than the Olympics in 2012 - the Queen's Diamond Jubilee. The last Olympic Games took place in London in 1948. The last Diamond Jubilee was celebrated in 1897. I'll probably live to see another British Olympics, but not another Diamond Jubilee (assuming she makes it).

I'm quite happy with my watered down theory of biological absorbtion. 1) We die. 2) We rot and leak our fluids. 3) We get absorbed by the ground. To water this down further, watch the Lion King. We do, however, cease to exist at phase one. We don't live in the grass etc. As for being absolved - I'm a complete c**t and don't really give a rat's ass. If there is some spiritual approch to things, and I've been wrong about religion, it will simply be one tyrant for another. At the end of the day - if we take so much pleasure from sin, wouldn't 'heaven' be a complete waste of time? It would be a paradise where you would not be allowed to partake in most fun things in life. I take 'heaven', in the Biblical sense, to be nothing more than one big church service. Afterall, according to the Bible, isn't worshipping God suppose to be your main salvation and pleasure in life? That would be sh*t. Wouldn't it?

Happy Birthday scsibear! And you, Star Crossed...

I can't have an abortion. I don't produce eggs and lack a womb. The Catholic Church are simply anti-sex. There is no pleasing them. They are against artificial contraception. They are against abortion. They obviously hold a grudge because their posts prevent them for partaking in the fun (bar a certain Priest in Glasgow who probably helped to cover up a murder). I'm sure he had no problem with contraception. Cardinal O'Brien should be tackling problems in his own executive (the church) rather than threatening our executive (the parliament). I think I have made my point about religion and politics before (or was that somewhere else). Using the vote of the people for your own personal means is not proper representation. If they have personal strong issues on a topic, they should simply abstain. Then let the people judge next time round. I say boot out O'Brien and the General Assembly. If the monarch were to do as they have done in politics, they would have been long gone. The difference is that both churches hold more power.

If they introduce a ban of abortion in Scotland, people will simply seek treatment on the English side of the wall or go private. The problem here is that the richer people will go largely unaffected but the poorer will have another mouth to feed. I'm led to believe that in Ireland, the ban in abortion has been eased by the presence of the Catholic church who are waiting in the wings ready to take in unwanted babies. Thus the theological poison enters their brain early. It's all a conspiracy I tell you! If you think it is bad now, think how it will be when more Eastern Europeans swarm in. They have already made an impact on the Catholic Church in Scotland. They will give the Catholic Church even more power, especially if Cardinal O'Brien keeps up his political pressure. Not long now until the next civil wars in Britain...

One good thing about the deathlist. It makes my life seem exciting!