Mr Stats

Hi Catherine Sad to see that Kamato Hongo, the world's oldest person died last week at 116 Mr Stats

Dear colleagues and friends of the Death List It's been a record breaking year with 14 deaths so far, after four consecutive years with 10 scored it's been a huge breakthrough. The task now is to consolidate and build on this success. However, while we discuss and mull over possible 2004 nominations it's important that at a management level we don't take our eye off the ball as we enter the final month of 2003. There are still opportunities out there and I urge you all to retain your focus, maintain your drive and dedication and go for closure. The success of this company depends on each and every one of you. Go Team Death List. Draft 03 report below (although it might not be legible) - It is now- see message below - GR Mr Stats

Dear Guests and Members I can't believe all this hullaballoo over the passing of Rikki Fulton (famous in his own back yard) while there has not been even a squeak about the death of surely the Greatest Ever Scotsman Don't mention Cubillas, don't mention missed penalties and don't ever mention Iran Willie Robertson's failed drug test shouldn't even cross your mind "We'll bring back a medal" he said and I believed him - and I'm not even Scottish Ally MacLeod (1931 - 2004) Never mind Mr Stats

Dear Mr G Reaper I know how fond you are of conspiracy theories but this has nothing to do with them. Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that since you started this engaging and stimulating discussion Forum we haven't had a single Death List success. Not one In the 9 months up to 28th September 2003 we had 14 deaths. Since the conception of the forum later the same day until now (4 months and 6 days) we've not had a sniff. What's going on? Sort it out or you're fired Mr Stats

I used to work with Dick Feast - i could never keep a straight face

We just need to tickle him along until the end of the year. He's 96 and they are coming after his money. Might as well give up surely.

Hello I am shocked and appalled that Zsa Zsa Gabor is not in this year's list. Difficult to believe but she is still alive and on husband number nine. Surely time she was reconsidered for the list Mr Reaper. Mr Stats

I worked with a guy called Richard Feast - but everyone called him Dick. I couldn't keep a straight face or is it only me that finds that funny.

Hello Possibly a bit early in proceedings for my annual post, but I've just been reminiscing about Roddy's finest film moment when he starred in a terrific post-nuclear trash film "Hell come to Frogtown" in which (I think) he had to rescue unsullied vestal virgins and return them intact in order to save the future of mankind. I cannot believe there was never a sequel. Maybe now he'll get one made. Mr Stats

Hello and a happy thingummy time to you all I'd just like to confirm that Morph and Chas are indeed dead - I was at their funeral a few weeks ago (much delayed as the autopsy took forever). Anyway it was an emotional affair and one that will live long in the memory. Still waiting for plans for a retrospective on BBC4 Mr Stats (now averaging one post per year)

Hello Some of you will remember the fun we had writing Idi Amin's obiturary last year. Self declared King of Scotland and accomplished accordian player (or something) Anyway, thought I'd mention this great programme about him on C4 which I'm watching with Death In Pixie Boots at the moment. "The Man Who Ate His Archbishop's Liver" Tremendous. He's just banned flip flops in the street as they were for the bathroom only. Mr Stats

While it's difficult to argue with Grim Reaper's cherished memories of the Lady Di domino effect, I personally remember fondly Roy Castle's passing. Driving up north somewhere with a packed car of idiots all shouting with excitement as the news broke. And I got the point for being first to phone in the news. It was all before this new-fangled technology which takes all the fun out of reading Ceefax first thing in the morning. Bah humbug

Dear Lady Die Sadly we can't rely on the winter months, history has shown that we chalk up very few deaths after September closes. Most of our remaining selections have enough cash to be somewhere hot and sunny and are not scratching around for social security handouts So Michael Foot it is then Mr Stats

Golly gosh. I pop out for a loaf and a pint and look what happens. Grimbo, old bean, we need to have a chat about planning for 2006 - how are we going to include all of these weighty suggestions? Or do we ignore them as usual? Perhaps you could pop round the family crypt next weekend for a chinwag. Ponce a lift off the boy Carter.

Is it biologically or physically possible to "literally" crush the guts out of someone? I may be skinny and weak but I am literally literarily perfect Although this forum could do with a spell checker

Dear Yeti Anyone for a lemon flavoured snow cone? Mr Stats (I've got kids - for those of you without, it's Monsters Inc) (also incidentally, I don't have a dead cool avatar - Mr Staying Alive gave me that without even a by the way - I am available for upgrades)

At our end of season awards dinner there is going to be absolutely no suspense whatsoever when it comes to announcing the winner of the "Forum Thread which has the most inane drivel posted to it by random passers by" award (Not to be confused with "Forum Thread which has the most inane drivel posted to it by DL Members" award Mr Reaper, in the name of Desmond please close this thread forever!

I don't believe it

As long as you're not keeping us in suspense for that "**************" line when ******** shuffles on

If we're including cartoon characters I'd like to nominate Kenny from South Park. I've heard a whisper.......

Have we heard back from Norman's agent recently? He sent us an awfully shirty email a few years ago saying that his client was fighting fit (and available for Panto). We asked him to let us know if there was any deterioration in NW's condition.

One to watch? That's terrible - how long did you spend thinking about that? I'm sure he'll see the funny side

I've been in mourning and unable to bring myself to add my irrelevance to this thread. I felt a deep sense of loss with the passing of Caron, as she was responsible for one of the most moving moments I have ever experienced It was in the late eighties, West Ham at home to Aston Villa, and Caron was on hand to open the new Family Enclosure. As she walked across the pitch both sets of fans were, for the only time I have witnessed, united in their singing and it brought a tear to my eye as "Get your tits out for the lads" rang out from every side of the ground. Seminal.

My vote for the headline would have been " Estee Lauder - not smelling so good now" But I was busy

GR Al Lewis was discussed at our meeting was deemed not famous enough Mr Stats