Twelvetrees

Interesting points, Pooka (and you may note that my avatar has become less swinging). However, I have to agree with TLC about Mind Your Language- a programme so indefensibly poor that it made Love Thy Neighbour seem like an advertisement for the Race Relations Board. Likewise the execrable Mixed Blessings, a self-styled comedy about mixed-race relationships that only a dedicated coprophile could enjoy. As for the worst oeuvre, may I make mention of Peter Bowles? Too late, I already have. Some of the programmes he starred in may not themselves been so terrible, but think back to the roles he played in them...To the Manor Born, Lytton's Diary, The Irish RM, Only When I Laugh, Executive Stress, The Bounder and Perfect Scoundrels. Every single 'character' was a minor variation on the theme 'oily piece of sh*t'. Nurse, the screens!!

I'm sure I've seen someone mention her before, maybe on the thread for Taufa'ahau Tupou IV, but a search came up blank. Anyway, Maori Queen Dame Te Arikinui Te Atairangikahu has died. Maori Queen dies This made me wonder - do tombstone engravers get paid by the letter?

If nothing else, King Taufa'toldbugger IV has evidently invested significantly in the Tongan education system.

Arthur Lee has died. http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story...49-1702,00.html http://news.scotsman.com/latest.cfm?id=1129822006

Does your hypothesis extends to Bernie Clifton?

Anubis - the late unlamented Rod Hull was a particularly bitter man. Evidently he had a dick the size of a barber's pole, not that that helps when you spend your adult life playing the stooge to a puppet. I am uncertain as to the penile prowess of Johnny Morris. But I can provide evidence as to his character. In yet another childhood trauma (I have a psychiatric ward full of them), whilst on a trip to Bristol Zoo, I asked the jovial bicycling animal vocalist for his autograph. His response was a simple "Piss off, I'm filming". When I told this story to a friend many years later, I was met with the response. "Yeah? - he did exactly the same to me, evidently everyone knew he was a right c*nt and hated kids" I still watched him on 'Animal Magic' after that, but only in the forlorn hope that he would be torn to pieces by baboons.

I am an accommodation agency in Bristol. http://www.12-trees.co.uk/ I am due to be a nursery in Connecticut. http://www.twelvetrees.com/ I also appear to be a Labrador farm in California. http://www.twelvetreeslabradors.com/ But more (much more) than this, I find to my eternal distress that a namesake is nothing more than a purveyor of sickening filth. These disgusting images of children are too vile for even my strong palate, and I can only advise extreme caution to those foolhardy enough to open this link. The fifth and final of the monstrosities depicted can alone send you running, gibbering into the strait-jacketed arms of madness. You have been warned. http://www.askart.com/AskART/artists/searc...mp;artist=86810

It all depends on your sense of humour. I was once told to "f*ck off" by Father Christmas at Printemps in Paris on my birthday. I think they were the only English words he knew. There were elves, but no dwarves though. When I was ten or eleven, I also saw the bareback rider (Oooooeerrrr missus) fall dead from his horse at the circus. His corpse was dragged off by clowns. People thought it was part of the act and cheered. The ringmaster made an announcement later in the show. I am not sure whether anyone cheered him. These scenes from my childhood have made me who I am today.

Holy mother of God and all the saints - there are other Peter Hammill fans amidst this madness! I'd prefer the ever cheerful take on immortality that is Van der Graaf Generator's "Still Life" - it makes death seem the better option. http://www.lyricsdomain.com/22/van_der_gra...still_life.html Either that or Siegfried's Funeral March by Wagner.

I have seen Professor Hawking at the Royal Opera House twice in the last six months- whilst it cannot be said that he is looking in fine fettle, he is still getting out and about. I also saw that there was an audio book of "A Briefer History of Time". I can only hope he wasn't narrating it.

Yes - Syd Barrett http://arts.guardian.co.uk/news/obituary/0,,1817952,00.html

Herr Hitler's lack of amusement at the Chuckle Brothers' routine spells bad news for the Sudetenland

Pan pipes. And the people that play pan pipes. Especially the people that play pan pipes in shopping centres. And especially the bonebrained buffoons that stand around watching the people that play pan pipes in shopping centres. Just stop it. Please.

One of my favourites - which 20th century leader was responsible for this philosophical observation? "Things are more like they are now than they ever were before"

Pinter was interviewed this evening on TV, and it has to be said he did not look at all well. The interview almost had the air of a valedictory about it, with much use of the past tense. Pinter also looked to be in pain throughout and seemed to have lost some of his lucidity. It put me in mind of the famous interview conducted with Dennis Potter shortly before his death - minus the interviewee sipping on morphine throughout, though. Months, rather than years, I fear.

Being a cultured sort of chap, I thought I'd see which composers were on the brink of decomposing. I think the following may well not be far off hearing their own funeral marches... These are either the oldest, or those whom I know have had recent health problems. Apologies if any of these have received a mention, but none of their names appeared in the search engine! Sir Malcolm Arnold - born 21.10.21 and has been living in full-time care for a while. Gian Carlo Mennotti - born 07.07.11 - old in anyone's libretto. Elliott Carter - born 11.12.08 - he was well enough to travel from NY to a series of concerts in London in January, and is still composing! Galina Ustvolskaya - born 17.06.19 - a virtual recluse, she seems to have composed little of note recently. Henri Dutilleux - born 22.01.16 - still composing and winning awards into his tenth decade. Andre Previn - born 06.04.29 - Mr. Preview had to sit down to conduct the last time I saw him, and he found getting on and off the stage very difficult. Maybe having a wife 34 years his junior is taking its toll? Milton Babbitt - born 10.05.16 Earl Wild - born 26.11.15 - mostly known for his virtuoso pianism and transcriptions. Performed in his own 90th birthday tribute concert at Carnegie Hall last November. Also a quick mention of - The conductor Kurt Sanderling (19.09.12) retired in 2002. Lady Evelyn Barbirolli (24.01.11), wife of Sir John Barbiroli and oboist. The modern day composer refuses to die - Edgard Varese (1883-1965)

I've read "By His Own Hand", not a spectacular read, but worth it if you can find a cheap copy. As part of a book club, my last choice for the group was "The Collector", whose author, John Fowles, was collected shortly afterwards. "The Loved One" by Evelyn Waugh is a humorous depiction of an old-style US cemetery, and I'd recommend Dostoevsky's "Crime and Punishment" to everyone.

I actually saw Denis Norden walking along Charlotte Street in London just over a week ago. He looked cold, but quite healthy.

What do you call a dismembered mime artist? Marcel Morceaux.

Off-topic, but all my very own work. Why did the muddy puppy cross the road twice? Because he was a dirty double-crossing son-of-a-bitch. I met Barry Cryer once, you know.

Sir Paul was fit and well at the start of the year, turning on the Christmas lights in the small Sussex village where he lives, or so I was told.

Hymphrey Lyttleton seems set for at least another series of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" - I hope he'll be around for a long while yet, and as for Elliott Carter, he was fit enough earlier this year to fly to London to be present for the world premiere of his new harp concerto, Mosaic. Has anyone any news on Joe Longthorne? I understood he has been seriously ill for some time - apologies if I've missed a thread on him!