honez

Found alive and well by the Channel 7 Helicopter crew.

A politician dying along with eighty five others would make the news. And my day.

I love this site... E-mails from an Asshole. There's many a chuckle to be had reading through some of the archives.

Completely irreplaceable, until the next Senator for Massachusetts replaces him.

You are not being discriminated against solely because you have not procreated. If you think you are then you have some sort of complex. Parents with Prams car parks are there for parents with small children and prams that the have to load/unload, similar to disabled/wheelchair access car parks. If you ever have to load/unload a pram, shopping, small child and potentially another one that's as mobile as a greased pig, the you'd know why these car parks are required. Try to load/unload in a normal-sized spot, you risk destroying not only you car, but both cars on either side. Unloading handicapped adults, who likely consent to the whole idea and have some sense of decorum, would be a walk in the park compared to juggling shopping bags, kids, crying child, shopping trolley, pram, headache, sleep deprivation, smelly nappies, and any other number of things -- all happening simultaneously... And you're whinging because you want to park your big-arsed car in a spot set aside for parent with prams, just because you're too damn lazy to walk an extra few yards? If parking in normal spot makes you grit your teeth with frustration and rage, then I'd say you have a serious problem. Manifesting itself as rage against parents with prams is probably the thin end of the wedge. It sounds like you either need some pills from the Doctor or a serious voltage applied daily. Probably anally. You're nearly right. A whiney two year old can be strapped in to his/her car seat/pram and ignored. Takes a bit of effort some days (the ignoring that is) but it can be done quite easily. If it's that much of an effort leave the little buggers at home with partner/grand parent/friend and go to the shops by yourself. Add eighty years to that scenario and it's a completely different kettle of fish. A two year old falls getting out of the car, you pick him up, give him a cuddle, buy him an icecream. Elderly father falls getting out of the car, you get help picking him up, ignore protestations that everything's fine, visit the GP, get refered to the hospital for xrays. All in all a fun day out for everyone. Having done both, I wouldn't seriously compare them. Give me the whiney two year old any day. At least you get ice cream. Agreed. Sort of. Anyway, my point being, both scenarios are infinitely worse than someone who considers it frustrating and rages against being "banished to the back of the car park" and "excluded from the bigger car park spots." Moosey asked if he was being unreasonable about it. Those are the reasons Moosey, you work it out.

Rally Car 2 - 0 Horses. Oh, the humanity. It cost him 30 seconds, Goddammit.

You are not being discriminated against solely because you have not procreated. If you think you are then you have some sort of complex. Parents with Prams car parks are there for parents with small children and prams that the have to load/unload, similar to disabled/wheelchair access car parks. If you ever have to load/unload a pram, shopping, small child and potentially another one that's as mobile as a greased pig, the you'd know why these car parks are required. Try to load/unload in a normal-sized spot, you risk destroying not only you car, but both cars on either side. Unloading handicapped adults, who likely consent to the whole idea and have some sense of decorum, would be a walk in the park compared to juggling shopping bags, kids, crying child, shopping trolley, pram, headache, sleep deprivation, smelly nappies, and any other number of things -- all happening simultaneously... And you're whinging because you want to park your big-arsed car in a spot set aside for parent with prams, just because you're too damn lazy to walk an extra few yards? If parking in normal spot makes you grit your teeth with frustration and rage, then I'd say you have a serious problem. Manifesting itself as rage against parents with prams is probably the thin end of the wedge. It sounds like you either need some pills from the Doctor or a serious voltage applied daily. Probably anally.

Send stuff you don't want to junk mail companies and they pay for it. Here's how. I'm going to sent a pair of old slippers to a large credit card company. I hope they like them.

I wonder how one pronounces honez. If for example he were employing a French pronunciation then the h would be silent (try getting a Frenchman to say he has had a happy holiday) and the ez would sound a bit like ey as in voulez vous, making his name 'oney. In this instance I propose honez takes a capital F. Lowercase is intentional, for many reasons far too trivial and uninteresting to recount here, and pronunciation is Spanish, not French. Ok, can I call you Juan Carlos then? No. Call me honez.

Congratulations, you win the Bad Grammar Award. Of a cigar. Go on, of one. You of earned it.

I wonder how one pronounces honez. If for example he were employing a French pronunciation then the h would be silent (try getting a Frenchman to say he has had a happy holiday) and the ez would sound a bit like ey as in voulez vous, making his name 'oney. In this instance I propose honez takes a capital F. Lowercase is intentional, for many reasons far too trivial and uninteresting to recount here, and pronunciation is Spanish, not French.

You sure? I was there (sadly near the twats of the 'Barmy Army') and the touts were doing tickets for over three times face value, the only empty seats were the corporates after the traditional 2 hour boozy lunch. Unlike 'The Best League In The World' which can only fill stadia to 2/3 capacity apparently. Hate to break it to you but football sold its' soul to Mammon and it's getting harder and harder to care about which team of mercenary millionaires lose to which other team of grasping morality-free oil-sheiks playthings. Anyway, it's going right to the wire now, who's going to get that last burst over the line? I ventured down to the Wheatsheaf yesterday afternoon for a pie and a pint. On one TV they were showing England v Australia, on the other a couple of London derbies in the Premier League. I'll give you three guesses which screen attracted the most attention. The one showing Strictly Come Dancing. Southern Poofs.

I always read The Ear of Van Gogh as The Earl of Van Gogh. How about you change it to Van Gogh woz Ear?

He might be busy.

Happy belated birthday one and all. Am I too late for trifle?

I hate the NinkyfuckingNonk. And don't get me started on that stupid muthafucka, Makka Pakka. Whatever happened to kiddy programmes that made any sense? I blame those Telly Tubby bastards.

Another one given a good kicking, but not quite as good as the first.

but someone spelt her name wrong! RIP VD. Sailors around the world rejoice.

Artist's impression of a Jetpod Impression of a Jetpod

... ex-husbands, mostly, who all died from falling on kitchen knives? ;-)

I wonder this too. Is there any recorded case of someone suffering from an aggressive cancer in an advanced stage such as this stopping smoking and suddenly getting all better? I'd be very surprised. What's the point? It isn't lung cancer and is quite possibly one of the few things he could get any satisfaction from. I'd be even more surprised if hadn't tried smoking a bit of pot, I doubt he'd be worried about it leading to harder drugs. In his place, I'm sure many would be smoking crack. Why the hell not? That's not gonna kill 'em.

What is it about f'uckwits and a morbid aversion of spell checkers? If you want people to read your twaddle, then do them the courtesy of proof reading it before posting. If you can't be bothered reading your posts, then neither can I. One more Gen-Y-dickfer added to the ignore list...