honez

Take a sickeningly flowery psyche test

I was highly disappointed this year, as none of the marauding gits turned up. I'd specifically gone and bought some chilli bomb gobstoppers and "little crappers"--laxative choccies--to give them. I dunno, there's just no sense of commitment these days.

Shave your Yeti

I don't believe you. Prove it.

That's hardly surprising seeing how your moniker can be anagramed to Lank, Mean Bitch. Neil Warnock = Wank 'n' recoil?

DL's last half dozen hits... John Profumo = Jump of honor. Caspar Weinberger = Re: Crap. Big new arse. Stanley Kunitz = Nutty ink's zeal. Charles Haughey = Ache shy laugher. Aaron Spelling = Legal; as in Porn. Byron Nelson = Nylon boners.

Does this make him a trainsquatter?

I think if you did find the required amount of hairspray you'd be well advised to request that the meeting be held at a non-smoking pub... ...and not to stand anywhere near Typhoid Harry. His is not the first blue flame I've seen, but it's certainly the first involvling a skull.

Yes, character assasination for the poor old stingray.

Toilet Duck = Dick outlet (anag)

Who? Me?

I'll be watching from the dark corners.

Good work weatherman90. But have you done any data-mining around what day of the week is de rigeur? How close their deathday was to their birthday? Whether there is any statistical correlation between age at death and the outside temp at their place of death. Give us some statistical anomalies we can get our teeth into. Telling us more people die when it's cold is hardly Earth-shattering. I want to know, for example, that if you're over 80, left-handed and live on the Eastern seaboard of the US, there is a .7 probability that you will die on a Sunday afternoon between Nov-1 and Dec-17, trying to read the small-print on a broadsheet on the crapper. That kind of info I can use. Now, get to it.

Lost where? Are they floating around? It takes a lot of energy to create thoughts and we know from physics that energy isn't lost but it can be converted to something else. Maybe that something is memes. Converting these thoughts into something else, memes for example, would require additional energy to effect this transition from one ordered state to another. Something that's not exactly forthcoming whilst the brain is undergoing a great deal of entropy, by being crushed, ignited, smashed or rotted. To follow on from your computer analogy, when the power gets pulled, whatever was in volitile memory is cactus. Switching it back on isn't going to bring it back no matter what--especially if the RAM is crushed, ignited or smashed in the meantime. At the precise time you switch off the power to this volitile memory, if you do manage to suck up any free-range electrons with an olfactory device, connected to some more RAM, it isn't exactly going to achieve a hell of a lot IMHO. Sorry.

Here you go MPFC. I've had a stab at pinning the puntuation on the rant. I'm not sure what it means, but I'm sure it'd get an honourable mention in a free-verse poetry comp. I call it Poor old T-Hat. T-Hats? Out of order... Iver 'ead T. He Top; I candid. On tag: "R-E-E" with W-Hat (You Dob) U tiag? "R-E-E-Y-O" urca. U sing: "N, Oh Armbut!" T-Hats?... Sick...

Remember Tammy the Virtual Bartender? Well she's got a friend now. Virtual Bartender 2

I'm not sure what the movie was or who the actors were, but I remember seeing a flick when I was a kid that ended with the two (bank-robbing?) lead characters looking like they were going to make a getaway across the state border and off to freedom. The car they were in was being chased by the police and had to race to a level-crossing before a train arrived. If they got there in time they'd get away with it, if not they'd get caught. In the end, they got there at the same time as the train. Crunch!

Do you mean this Heavon and this Hell?

Given that the population of the Indian sub-continent is absolutely nuts about cricket (there's approaching 1 billion people in India, let alone Pakistan, Sri Lanka, etc) I would have thought that participation levels there would be pretty high.

This defies description

or Vegemite, if you prefer. It's made from beer like every good Aussie food should be.

.......... putting his final full stop in just the right place. he'd been in a comma for some time..... I wouldn't be surprised to learn he had a large part of his intestine removed due to cancer. If so, he would have been left with a semi colon.

If you think I'm ugly, wait until I get up and walk away.

Nope. A bloke posting on here a while back got off on pictures of people being restrained with a hand over their mouth. Now that was weird. Anyway, we banned him. But I suspect that 99%+ of blokes don't get off on insulting, macho, death-threat s**t. Probably.

At least you're not up a tree sinking beers and shooting old dears.