honez

How rude. They should at least signal their intentions before succumbing to the steel-belted radials of death (as your car is undoubtably known).

Probably has been, but unfortunately, the bugger's probably heathier now than he has been for years. I don't think he's ready to go just yet, but then again, a dodgy ticker could go at any moment. He wouldn't make it into my list for 2006.

F**k me, good point, I'm off. Me too. Bunch of G*dd*mn c*cksuck*rs. Cens*rsh*p my *rse. You can all go and g*t f*ck*d ya f***ing b**** sh*** ***k * *** **a** f**k ***ss* *** *** *****d*** **t ***d p***. (Just kidding)

Nope: It's 20 years.

Oh, that'll definitely do the job. She should be as right as rain in five minutes flat, due to the proven healing power of prayer. I don't know why the (ex)Pope didn't think of it.

There's nothing more stable than a nice flat line on the ECG. Sounds to me like she's headin' that way.

Ah, yes, but a valuable ninety minutes of sitting inactive on a comfy chair to add to your good cellulite.

OK then, i'll show him respect and drop the 'alleged.' Perv.

Pah. What piffle. It'd never work I tell yuz.

Good to see You're using top notch material there HCW... http://www.deathlist.net/forums/index.php?...findpost&p=6477

Well done Weatherman90! I bet your mum's so proud of you. Here's a certificate for you to print out for her to put on the fridge...

I think it's safe to say he's somewhat of a bigot, yes.

Why not? Come on... How'd you know?

I don't understand why they waste all that money on training. All they seem to do is lie on their backs for a couple of hours before they light the blue touchpaper and the computer flies them up into orbit. And a fully trained pilot seems overkill for the return journey. No matter how much training they give him/her, a couple of hundred tons of flaming catherine-wheel isn't going to respond to feathering the controls no matter what the NASA procedures say.

Probably not. If you work out what you'll get paid in your lifetime and divide it by the number of hours you've worked, you'll not end up getting anywhere near as much as those guys do. There's a good chance they'll earn all their lifetime's salary in a week or so and then get paid a life insurance lump sum at the end of it. I bet your better half wishes you were an astronaut now.

1 question. why be particularly childish, it makes no sense in a crowd like us. Oh, be quiet. I don't care who started it--the next one that makes a sound gets a birch rod across their legs and sent to bed without any tea.

Weren't the Osmonds the white middle-class antithesis of the Jacksons? Seeing how Michael J got thinner and thinner, and whiter and whiter, Does that mean that Little Jimmy got fatter and fatter, blackened up and got a 'fro?

Well, Dr Squire, that 'q' in your monicker isn't making it easy. Quill redrew 'S' makes sense, but isn't funny. Sorry, that's about all I can find. regards, Hein How about Matron's response to a Carry-On-esque pinch on the bum? "Well! Dr. Risque!"

Two old ladies are sitting outside their old peoples' home having a smoke and a drink. It starts to rain, so the first old lady pulls out a condom packet, rips it open, snips the end off the condom and puts it on her cigarette. "What's that?" Mable asks. "It's a condom," Ethel says. "It keeps my cigarettes dry when it rains." "That's a good idea. But where do you get them?" "Oh, you can pick them up at any chemist shop." "I'll have to get some of those," Mable says. The next day, Mable hobbles off to the local chemist's. Inside, she goes straight up to the young assistant. "Do you sell condoms?" she asks. The assistant, obviously embarrased by the little old lady asking for condoms, coughs and splutters a response. "Um, yes we do." He manages to regain his composure and continues. "What sort were you after exactly?" "Oh, I don't care, just as long as they fit a camel."

He'll be needing an addition for England's performance in the first Ashes test then.

Pray tell, where would one get such an epic tome of near-future militaristic speculative fiction, 4H?

And I quote B, Brimley from another thread. I'm starting to get frightened...

Work it out. My job description is an anagram of "free carpet monster"