Star Crossed

Can't get the image of MC Stephen Hawking singing this out of my head now.... very surreal It is MC Stephen Hawking, the renowned physicist, Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at the University of Cambridge and part-time hip-hop MC. The link works, have a listen. (You may have to click the "play" button a few times to get it to work) He even has his own website. Kudos, Godot.

Why Won't Jesse Helms Just Hurry Up And Die? Not just a rhetorical question, but a brilliant rap-metal track by MC Hawking. See attachment. The lyrics:- Verse 1 Big fat f**k from North Carolina state, he's a worthless piece of sh*t, he's a paragon of hate, he's a redneck, f**k-face, brain-dead waste of space, two-bit, two-timing, motherfucking pool of slime. Against gay rights, and funding for the arts, tried to cancel PBS and tear Big Bird apart. cut AIDS funding, corporate welfare for the rich, he's a shameless money grubber, he's a two dollar bitch. Chorus Why won't Jesse Helms just hurry up and die? x 2 Verse 2 Fundamentalist, fuckwad, dickless prick, he's ugly as a morlock, dumb as a brick. He's a sack of sh*t, hypocrite, single-minded, fat bigot, punk bitch, ignorant, ass-munch sycophant. Life long friend of the deadly cancer sticks, thinks AIDS is the fault of the people it inflicts. Racist f**k who supports segregation, foe of the people friend of the corporation. Chorus MC_Hawking_Why_Won__t_Jesse_Helms_Just_Hurry_Up_And_Die.mp3

Whomsoever's decision it was, is deserving of a bareback horse ride to Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan, where they should be tied to a stake on the launchpad and burned alive by the vicious flames of the next available Soyuz rocket, and then have their death reported in the "not famous enough" and "ironic deaths" threads. TSAN and Patrick Moore's presentation of it, is one of the very few reasons to justify the payment of any kind of television tax licence fee and should be prime-time, if not compulsory, viewing. Anyone who knows anything about anything at all must agree that there is absolutely no room for manoeuvre or debate on this issue. As those of you salty enough to have stayed up to watch the last episode will have witnessed, no less top-hole a man than Piers Sellers, when thanked for appearing on the programme, replied with the greatest sincerity "The honour is all mine."

It's not enough that they're due to be hanged, Banshees is determined to kick 'em whilst they're down by insulting their manhood. I too have taken cynical advantage of the current "Islam vs ROTW" aggro in my DDP/HDP teams this year, proferring both:- Ahmed Sheik Sharif (leader of Somalia's Council Of Islamic Courts) and Mohammed Deif (suspected master bomb-maker, anit-zionist hero and military leader of Hamas) for untimely, if glorious, returns to Allah following their successful martyrdom.

There ain't really much news on Johnson at the moment apart from he's making a steady recovery. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZ But he's not completely off the danger list yet. we could do with a "sleep" emoticon At the risk of ushering in a New Age of apparent tolerance, I must agree with, and expand on Phantom's post just a little by once-again reiterating my usual mantra... if there's nothing worth discussing, don't discuss anything. There are other, more appropriate threads for the chit-chat, especially the chit-chat concerning subjects of other threads. FFS, there's a whole forum for common-room antics now, so let's keep this thread on the Tim Johnson, shall we?

I concur wholeheartedly and in full. If only more Texans were capable of rational, logical thought, the world could be an immeasurably nicer place to live. CarolAnn for President in 2008? p.s. Back on-topic... Borgnine? No chance. Not unless he gets hit by a meteorite or something. When the global "nucular" holocaust cometh, the human race will be distilled to Ernest Borgnine, Evel Knievel and Chuck Norris, sat in a tin shack on a windswept plateau eating cockroaches; Clive Dunn chilling in the corner, nursing a bottle of Portuguese plonk, advising them not to panic. Apart from that, the DL 2007 is looking pretty good. For deadpool perfection, however, see my DDP/HDP entries.

Does the chat still work? If not, am I banned? I can't get it to work.

It could be worse SC, you could have a partner who'd rather watch Little Britain than give you a good seeing to. Yes, that would be bad. Time to freshen up the batteries in your rabbit, H. Or call up one of your fancy-men and head down to his cosy cottage for a spot of yuletide fireside how's-your-father. My sympathies are with you; sounds like Mr. H might have a problem with his "Torchwood" Quite. Not to mention sh*t taste in comedy Could it have something to do with your avatar? Hardly demure and aluring. Bet she's handy with a rolling pin, though. If you're into that kind of thing.

It could be worse SC, you could have a partner who'd rather watch Little Britain than give you a good seeing to. Yes, that would be bad. Time to freshen up the batteries in your rabbit, H. Or call up one of your fancy-men and head down to his cosy cottage for a spot of yuletide fireside how's-your-father. My sympathies are with you; sounds like Mr. H might have a problem with his "Torchwood"

It's Christmas day, I'm drunk and bored. You lot are probably somewhere having a good time, whilst I'm here "in the kitchen doing the washing-up". Six'll be getting her dad to mend the new Bratz doll she's already pulled the head off. mpfc'll be sinking a pint of the usual down the Slag 'n' Whippet, chipping into everyone's conversations, like. I just tried to get into the chat here, but it wouldn't let me. Bah! Cunch of bunts. Still, that's what I get for being a curmudgeonly old grumpy guss. And Xenon II is what you get for letting any old rucking fiff-faff fore on your whorums. Blah blah blah humbug! Season's Greetings to you, one and all! SC

I wasn't aware that the Germans had built Australia. I thought it was just left there when Pangaea broke up. Next you'll be telling us that Albert Speer designed the Sydney Opera House. What exactly does this have to do with Margaret Thatcher? Well, yes, it is annoying, but it's still off-topic. Another day, another page of off-topic, talentless codswallop on the DL. Xenon II: the new Life Begins At 5 O'Clock?

I wouldn't put them in Room 101, Godot; they're not worth it.

You didn't really want an answer, but an answer you shall have... We should close this thread, which was about the Moderaters, and open a fresh one about the Moderators, if neccessary. It has long irked me that some of you think I tried to strip the Moderators of their powers (and I know that some of you conniving little sh*ts members tried to make it seem that way, didn't you?) with this thread. That was clearly not the case. Close this thread, and open another one if you all want to have a bitch about the real Moderators, with whom I have no beef. I recommend that the split happen here, on page 5, where millwall32 resurrected the wrong end of the stick about the intentions of this thread, possibly opening discussions about the proper Mods.

Chris Rea "Driving Home For Christmas" If any one "song" has been responsible for more people thinking "F*ck it, I've had enough of living" and pointing their car through the central reservation into oncoming traffic, I can't imagine what it would be. Tuneless, talentless sh1t from start to finish. I vote for Chris Rea's entire back-catalogue, and his future-catalogue too, to be hurled into Room 101. I mean... imagine... just *imagine*, people... whilst Radio 2's listeners are "enjoying" this excuse for music (i.e. trying in vain to keep one eye on the road ahead whilst frantically scrabbling at the knobs and buttons on their car stereos, trying to hear anything, ANYTHING but THIS SH1T), this pr1ck's kids are probably "enjoying" their ritualised christmas buggery at whatever public school he's put them through with the royalites from the endless seasonal airplay of this worthless, depressing dirge. ZERO TOLERANCE for Rea's rubbish career which, I'm sorry to say it, is the musical equivalent of post-whoring. ZERO TOLERANCE for ANYTHING else with even a vague hint of fvcking sleighbells (unless they were attached to the door of Room 101, so we could hear a little "chink chink" every time someone's pet hate is banished forever, which would be a rather nice touch, I think).

So you thought you'd bore the rest of us by slopping out 21+ posts today, did you? Get a job.

Apologies to all non-UK residents, but there's a documentary on UK telly tonight at 22:00 (channel 4) called 638 Ways To Kill Castro, about the CIA's many 3-Stooges-like attempts to whack everyone's favourite nail-hard communist cuban dictator. Exploding cigars, poison, snakes in his pyjamas, an undercooked egg, a sudden loud bang, an overly-hilarious joke etc. etc. I won't be watching, though, because my favourite british actress, Gina McKee, is once-again involved in a dreary, slit-your-wrists, waste-of-money BBC docu-drama about some improbable big wave catastrophe or other, through which I will have to trawl just to catch the 15 awesome seconds of her which will, no doubt, be the full extent of her gorgeous, horse-faced geordie contribution to the ill-advised proceedings. Lest we forget, Castro will almost certainly die in 2007, so let's not forget to put him on next year's DL.

Bravo! A brilliant, almost Paul McKenna-like in some ways, performance by maryportfuncity, pulling BORLEYRECTORY back off-topic with a single click of his post-counter. Could someone ban him from this thread, please? Some threads deserve a bit of decorum and respect. I think this is one of them. Patrick Moore haiku; Maryportfuncity's just Taking the p*ss now

Looks like it's a bloody revolution, too. I wonder if they had a Woolworths in Nuku'alofa? The thought of all that Pick 'n' Mix going up in smoke made Mrs SC weep with dismay.

Cancer-riddled Patricia Balsom, who claimed poor treatment at the hands of the National Health Service, has died. Sh*t happens.

Clearly, Mr. Toole, given that the last 3 pages of this thread have been almost entirely given over to idle speculation from the Usual Suspects on topics spanning UFOs, stealth aircraft, garden fairies and god helmets, whatever they are, there has been no recent news of Sir Patrick's health, deteriorating or otherwise. My advice would be to keep him on your list; if he is desperately hanging on for anything, it's for the 50th anniversary of his television show The Sky At Night which occurs next year, in April, I believe. I strongly suspect that Chris Lintott will be lurking around Sir Patrick's back garden this weekend, looking out for the Leonids. Will you be watching?

If any of the definitions on this page apply to you, particularly this one or this one, it's likely that you are a post whore, scourge of internet forums... Here comes the science: High Post Count + Low Post Quality = Post Whore If, in the light of the above link, you've recently discovered postwhoric symptoms in your posting habits, ask yourself a few simple questions... 1) Why do I feel the need to post in every thread? 2) Are all of my posts relevant and according to the spirit of the forum/thread in which I'm posting, i.e. will people gain value from reading them? 3) Would the overall quality of the forum be improved were I to be more selective with my posting? Usually, an honest self-appraisal will see you right. Happy posting everyone! Don't be that guy... SC

Please supply a link to this specific claim, dipshit. Best of luck.

Neither you nor I, millwall32, nor the majority of posters herein, but that didn't stop us posting here, did it?

Happy Three-Oh, H, from me, Mrs SC, the kittens and tdonkleys! Hope you're having fun wherever you are! SC x

Jesus? Jesus? Don't give me f**king Jesus! What did he have to contend with? Fishes, loaves, water, wine, crucifixion? Whatever... he never tried reducing the amount of whoring (often mis-labelled "banter") on DeathList, did he? Did he? Eh? What you saying now, Jesus-fish? Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus Chriiiiist!