Star Crossed

or summat.

Y'know... I'm convinced that I did actually post in this thread some months ago, but it seems my post has disappeared. DL's like the Pinochet regime sometimes; maybe I dissented from the editorial line.

Yes. I was discussing it in chat, and a couple of days later his campaign started. He provoked me into kicking him as to have an excuse to start the campaign. Yes. Ideological contrasts, provocations, retaliations, excuses, campaigns... the whole thing was a grand homage to the breakdown of the Middle East peace process. Some days I feel a little Mossad, some days more Izzadin al-Qassam. Just like the "roadmap to peace", this thread has become long, tortuous and, often, divorced from the reality of its purpose. Will there ever be lasting harmony?

Yes, it's all turned a bit Catcher In The Rye, hasn't it?

This is almost unreadable. But I got there in the end. Perseverance is a virtue, Mr. Pooka. A virtue indeed!

You have now become my "number one" post-whore. I say "number one"; really you're more of a "number two"; a loose, spluttery, Mixed Vegetable Balti sort of one at that. If, however, everyone took Anubis' advice and simply put all the vaginal-envious and over-compensatory, talentless, one-line put-down shills like you who troll the DL from time to time on Ignore we'd all end up like me; pissed-off and disillusioned, with a dozen people on Ignore. Admittedly, Ignoring the bulk of the regular posters has improved the visible quality of the forum of late but, surely, we'd rather see some decent arguments than more of this weak-hearted primary school codswallop. Sure... someone hawking herbal SPAM, swearing a bit or advertising http://www.tdonkleycockrockerXXXromaniangymnasts.com gets short shrift from the Mods, probably an immediate ban and the post sent to trash before impotent members like me can take advantage of the crazy, crazy LOW prices and special guaranteed-to-give-you-a-rise offer read them, whilst "Lady Clarissa" here meanders her crimson fingernails tantalisingly over our collective nutsack with apparent impunity. If any unemployed 36-year-old male virgin like Lady Christopher... sorry, Clarissa, can rock up and pretty much charm the trouser-snake of the membership at large, we should all be ashamed, members... very, very ashamed. As Rolf Harris, someone who I'm sure "Lady Clarissa" is familar with, once copied... "Ooh, and it makes me wonder..." I'd rather see more bordering-on-kiddy-fiddling porn scripts about teenage twins from BHB and Pizzaguy than this wannabe's lame bullsh*t. SC We all know LCR's just some aussie sh*t-stirrer, probably an existing member yanking our chains in time-honoured fashion, but I do so love rising to the bait, doing what you all wanted and expected, having a little rant again; saying what you're feeling... again. remember the Ers? my pleasure... accept no substitute. tommy sheridan is innocent.

I feel the time is long-overdue to officially declare my position; I wish for all Moderaters to be stripped of their "powers" and returned to the same level of ignominy as the rest of us huddled, unwashed masses. If anyone can offer me a decent explanation as to their raison d'être, I will accept that they are a valid institution. That old chestnut "so they can delete/manage their erroneous posts" doesn't hold any water with me; if they are whoring too much and too badly, they should be banned, not given powers to cloak their whoredom. I do not believe that any of the 3 current Moderaters (Windsor, Tempus Fugit and Banshees Scream) possess the wisdom, self-control or posting class to be considered as anything other than ordinary members. These are not people upon whom we want to bestow Moderator powers, so why are we pretending that they are? Why should they have the right to warn, kick or ban other ordinary members? The answer is simple; they shouldn't. Get rid of them all, and get rid of them NOW! Vote YES to Strip! In any case, do vote; it is your democratic right and your civic duty!

From the same source, here's 2 Letterman interviews (total 17 mins) of Captain Beefheart. Pretty surreal stuff. I draw your attention in particular to a point about 12 minutes into the clip when Beefy starts talking about flamingos' beaks. Tremendous.

D- Must try harder. Again, you wish...... Ah yes, the "you wish" defence; a classic variant of the more widely-used "no comment". I believe Saddam Hussein's lawyers had originally instructed him to use the "you wish" tactic when confronted with his charges, but he opted instead for the "refusal to recognise the authority of the court" route. He still has the option, however, of telling the judge that he stinks and claiming to be "minty-skiller" than him "by a factor of infinity plus one".

Brilliant, Lady Die, I totally concur, wholeheartedly....and people who water their b****y gardens when our country is on water restrictions! Ditto! And parents who go to the supermarket together and take their children. One parent could stay at home with the kids.... Double ditto!! And people who park opposite your driveway so you can't get out of your own *bleeping* driveway without hitting them!! Hitting them would be a great solution if it wasn't for the fact that you'd probably damage your own car. Absolutely.....One day, I'm going to buy a big truck and run over them.... A steamroller would be ideal. Would you two ladies like some privacy? Room 102 is free...

From our conversations last night, I think ValiSS' "input" could be more than useful when it comes to the demise of Fidel Castro and Oscar Niemeyer. A sort of unofficial quid pro quo betwen DL and the National Power Unity of Latvia. I mean, it's purely coincidental that his political opponents happen to be famous communists on this year's DL, isn't it?

I admire your post-chastity, Miss Flatterer. To be fair, however, there are many of us who have nothing of value to add to the site, yet are far from silent. Join in, maybe you do have something of value to add; let the other members be the judges of that. Haul-ass those inappropriate smileys, though; being licked to death by kittens isn't as nice as it sounds. SC

Here is a Haiku To discuss masturbation Masturbation's fun That's not bad SC Though this one is much better But I would say that What do you know, eh? Your Haiku stinks of dog-doo! Mine was the shiznit.

Thankyou. I may not be a ter for long, I'm really not worthy of the assignment, but this quote will remind me of my time in this lofty office... "For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return." - Leonardo Da Vinci

She'll be tearing you a new arsehole before long, Mr. Scream.

Perhaps, yes, but I've got no idea whodicca it could be...

11 consecutive posts in the same thread? Eleven? Lady Clarissa Richmond, I believe you may have achieved some sort of record. Someone call Roy Castle & Norris McWhirter, we have a winner! That's not just a DeathList record, it must be a World Record! You could have had more were it not for hungry kittens and a food-laden refrigerator drawing me downstairs in the middle of the night. Feel free to re-commence your posting spree, M'Lady; let's see how far you can take this thing... I for one, am rooting for you!

Please don't die before you've seen a little Cat Head Theatre. Here we have William Shakespeare's performed by the Cat Head Theatre. Bravo!

WWF? Pah! It's not enough that they're always banging on about some conservation project or other, trying to stop me poaching Black Rhinos and such-like; now they're wrestling too? Has the world gone quite mad?

Here is a Haiku To discuss masturbation Masturbation's fun

Does masturbation count as a hobby? I mean, it's not really one that you could show off to your friends, or join a club for, (although I'm sure there must be online forums where you can discuss it) but it'll fill 5 minutes of your day quite nicely. p.s. this Hammond nonsense is almost as irritating as the ubiquity of his "cheeky chirpy chappy" voice. He'll be driving Lamborghinis again by next week, you mark my words; there's nothing wrong with him, unfortunately. Stick an elastoplast on the drama queen and send him home, ffs. Or shove him in a tank full of angry stingrays, whichever is the easier. Imagine if he'd died; hoards of middle-class mourners creating a Sunday-morning memorial tailback on the M25 in their reasonably-priced saloons, BMWs, Subaru Imprezas, MPVs and Chelsea tractors; it would make Steve Irwin's death look like the ignominious demise of some nameless, forgotten vagrant in a squalid squat on the outskirts of a big, windy, northern city.

I'm not sure, CA, but you may be the only one who bothered reading both of those posts in their entirety. Without benefit of paragraphs, they stand before me like the north face of the Eiger, and here's me with just my North Face jacket, a map, a compass, a flask of tea and a pair of Jimmy Choo slip-ons. No way I'm attempting that ascent...

Pretty straightforward, surely? 1) Doherty has clearly had no effective musical training. 2) Doherty is not the brightest fairy light on the christmas tree. QED.

Arrr! That be fantastic! A man after my own heart. At last, someone who can deliver a candid epitaph instead of hiding behind platitudes. He's just that vital hair's-breadth away from saying "That c*nt killed my daughter. It was his fault and he'll burn in hell, hopefully. I'll p*ss on his grave." Although, to be fair, his comments were already pretty defamatory. Good chap!

Stop following me! BTW: Isn't it normal for hampsters in the wild to sleep from late September to late March? (arf) Hampsters? Do they come from Hampshire? I'd like to think that Richard Hammond lives in a hamlet in Hampshire and sleeps in a hammock. He puts his dirty pants in a hamper, washes in his hammam, hammers a ham & spam bap home with haste then, perhaps, pats his pet hampster and goes out to attempt something silly at work.