Star Crossed

I was recently "dissed" by someone purporting to be Charlton Heston. I shall be amending my CV accordingly.

Congratulations Mr. Carter, you got a rise out of me. Consider this the rise. As far as I'm able to calculate, John's rant scores as follows on the DL Rant Index: (Content #7. The post states or infers a wish of a painful or imminent death on the members of DeathList.net. check) (1/25)*100 = 4 Is this the worst rant ever? I'm equal-parts proud/ashamed to be the subject of it. p.s. I realise the hypocrisy of my own rant in the Dickie O' thread about relevant content, so here's some trivia about Charlton Heston... 1) His birth name was John Charles Carter (not the John Charles Carter of DL micro-rant fame, surely?) 2) He and his wife, Lydia, both battled cancer recently. He battled prostate cancer and she battled breast cancer. Now both are in remission. 3) He's 6'3" tall. 4) In 1954, he made 2 movies; 'Bad For Each Other' and 'Secret Of The Incas'.

I've never used the Live Chat function on this site, but this thread seems to have turned into a surrogate Yahoo! Messenger. I realise that people want to see as many entries as possible on this thread, but it's gaining around three pages of waffle per day at the moment. How about we have a thread where people can just chat to each other about doing stuff and keep this one for news and relevant posts about Dickie O'? Don't mean to insult anyone in particular, but can we keep the stream-of-consciousness waffle to a minimum? Cheers, Star Crossed

I preferred Dudley Sutton when he played Mr Carter the history teacher in the Beiderbecke Trilogy I've bumped into Mark Wing-Davey (Zaphod Beedlebrox) and also Christopher Biggins up by Tower Hill, although not on the same day I've also remembered meeting 'Jonno' Coleman, the fat Aussie DJ, hardly a celeb, But what stood out was that he had an attractive girl on either arm, it's an unjust world. That reminds me, another hotel one... Sir John Harvey Jones. Didn't leave a tip, despite spending a fortune on cocktails. He had a gaggle of his "nieces" with him, all in their early 20s, pretty, leggy and oh-so-giggly on the vintage Krug he was splashing about. I remember being jealous at the time but, let's face it, they were all just praying for some money to fall out of his fat wallet. I seriously hope he didn't get to bed any of them, even if it was for cash. Sorry, my mistake, they were his nieces. Yes. Definitely not prostitutes. Nieces. Nieces.

I do have a number of Stacy Keibler-related fantasies MyBrainHurts2, you lucky, lucky devil. All of my celeb claims-to-fame revolve around my work in various hotels in my youth. The ones I can remember, in order of magnitude:- Elle "the body" MacPherson - did her room service once at Claridges. I asked her out on a date, then instantly apologised and asked her not to tell the manager. She never really replied to my question so, technically, she's still thinking about it. Patrick Moore - served him breakfast. The consumate gentleman. Norris McWhirter - served him breakfast at same time as above. Very polite. Chris Bonnington (mountaineer) - breakfast at an hotel in Aviemore. Full english, 2 pots of tea. Jeremy Healy (Dance music DJ) - room service again. A tad the worse for "clubbing", nice chap though. Billy Connolly - room service. Annoying wife. "do you know who my husband is?" Sandy Toksvig - room service and dinner. Bedside table like a branch of Boots. Robert Wiseman (milk magnate) - dinner. Good tipper. Richer than Croesus. I think that's about all. Wish I'd gone to school with Stacy Keibler.

Just watched the latest instalment of The Sky At Night. It concentrated on the research objectives of the many observatories on Mauna Kea, Hawaii. It was so exciting, I nearly soiled my Kecks. Sir Patrick looked and sounded in fine fettle, even sliding in a quip about the inactive ("well, we hope so, anyway!") volcano that is Mauna Kea. He stayed at home to grill the local boffins whilst his protégé, Chris Lintoft, got to do the glamourous stuff, partying all night on Hawaii with the hardcore telescope geeks.

Sounds like a good time was had by all - I bet your friends were so pleased they decided to get together with you. True, my friends do get used to my eccentricities (oh dear, I'm starting to sound like Banshees ). I feel compelled to educate the uneducated. My thirst for knowledge has been a life-long affair and it has cost me "good friends" in the past. One ex-friend was disowned after she insisted that engine braking was not a "proper" part of driving. Haven't spoken to her since that conversation 5 years ago; no great loss (I'm sure she feels the same ). I do get a little over-protective when it comes to this thread, for which I make no apology; I actually have a genuine interest in it, having known nothing of Tonga prior to joining DL. Don't get me wrong, I'm no party-pooper (feel free to disagree by PM, not on this thread), but flaming relatively polite guests, especially those who may have some updates on Taufa's health, gets us nowhere. Yours Sincerely, Star Crossed hasn't had breakfast yet and is already on the defensive.

I think you'll find that most of our posts have shown due respect to King Taufa'ahau Tupou IV and his house (aside, perhaps from a few light-hearted remarks regarding his musical tastes). We're not all morons out to get a rise from guests; that's mainly Windsor's vocation, it would seem. Just last night I spent half an hour educating three good friends of mine about Tonga, her people, monarchy and constitutional aspirations. I also expressed my deep concern that there appears to be a news blackout regarding the health of your King. I wonder if any of our Tongan friends have any news about King Taufa'ahau Tupou IV's health? The last we heard, he had been rushed to NZ for treatment, but that was over a month ago. I can find no recent news. Your help would be appreciated... Yours Sincerely, Star Crossed

Mr/Mrs/Ms Toerag, For your use of the word "shitehawk", please accept my hearty praise. I'll be using that one at the weekly crisis meeting on monday morning. "Neither saint nor shitehawk be" - A. Wiseman

Sir, I refer you to my previous rebuttal. Please accept my apologies for any offence caused.

Many happy returns of the day to you, Yeti! Let's hope that you continue to remain undiscovered, lest you be caged and exhibited like the freak that you are. Star Crossed

Yes, quite. It would seem that the only policy of Pinochet's that didn't quite come off was his attempt to liquidate ALL of his political opponents: it seems a few of them "slipped through the net". Or should that be "slipped through the electrodes"? We all now know, with the benefit of hindsight, what a resounding economic triumph "Maggie's years" were. If only I'd known how instrumental you'd been in Britain's last two decades of economic buoyancy Thank you, Augusto. Hope everything works out ok with your, erm... trial thingy. Very true that Maggie sorted this country out. Thank God she had the balls to tackle the miners - look at the state of France when the unions decide to call a strike. I just wish she was still here to give the London Underground drivers a kicking. £30,000 to close the doors, put your feet up and let the computer take over - and then striking for more pay. Actually, sod Maggie - put Pinochet onto them! Sorry, should have made my tone more obvious by applying the [iRONY][/iRONY] tags. Wouldn't want any of my hard-left comrades to think I'd deserted them.

Yes, quite. It would seem that the only policy of Pinochet's that didn't quite come off was his attempt to liquidate ALL of his political opponents: it seems a few of them "slipped through the net". Or should that be "slipped through the electrodes"? We all now know, with the benefit of hindsight, what a resounding economic triumph "Maggie's years" were. If only I'd known how instrumental you'd been in Britain's last two decades of economic buoyancy Thank you, Augusto. Hope everything works out ok with your trial.

So did I Neither of you did. Tony Hawk is a skateboarder. Tony Hawks is a comedian.

I think you'll find, Mr. Cook, IF you bothered to read this thread, that the vast majority of site members have huge respect for Patrick Moore and his contribution to furthering the popularity of astronomy. This site is (largely, see notable exceptions such as Margaret Thatcher, whom most of us would dearly love to see expire) dedicated to the statistical probability of a celebrity dying within the calendar year, not some sort of wishlist for the death of celebrities we hate. As you intimated yourself, Mr Moore is more than intelligent enough to see this site for what it is and to take any fun-poking in the spirit in which it is intended. I can't think that any of our members would wish to play down, "attack" or denigrate Patrick's achievements, whether it be in the field of astronomy or elsewhere. Furthermore, Mr. Moore has himself alluded openly to the fact that he feels he is dying at an increasingly rapid rate. This admission, combined with the physical ailments he suffers, make him a candidate for the Deathlist 2006. People die, Mr. Cook. Nobody likes it, but it's inevitable. You may find our site ghoulish, but we don't see anything wrong with the Deathlist as an intellectual exercise. Please remember, in addition, that many of our readers may not have known much about Patrick or his work before encountering this thread; I know I have learned a great deal about a number of people whose lives had previously been a complete mystery to me. The educational benefits of Deathlist are what many members find compelling. I, for one, would love to see him outlast the year, especially as I look forward to the 50th anniversary of The Sky At Night in 2007. Patrick Moore is a living legend, especially in Britain; many, many people would be sad to see him go. The team who pick the 50 celebs for the Deathlist, however, do not believe that he is statistically capable of lasting that long; he is, therefore, included on this year's list. I hope you read this, Mr. Cook, and accept that our intentions are not as malign as you first thought. Yours, Star Crossed

Mr Scargill, your comments are duly noted.

And we have another honez! (don't worry Godot, I agree wholeheartedly) p.s. Sentences cannot start with "And".

One Kennedy-relative I'd like to see bite the dust is neo-con Schwarzenegger. I used to admire him. As a bodybuilder, he knows what he's talking about but please, Arnie, you utter, utter halfwit, stay OUT of politics. In fact, stay out of EVERYTHING except... lifting heavy weights and eating lots. I'd rejoice if Arnie was the next quasi-kennedy to buy the farm, preferably (i'm a lover of irony) by being run over by a Hummer. "I'll be back". No, you won't.

Yeah! Tony Hawk is a legend! His Nollie Heel Flip 540 is sick, dude!

...

I couldn't even be arsed to look at the rest of the thread. After a half-bottle of Lamb's Navy Rum, that's more than enough to make me object. Objection, you honour!

Ephraim's trippin'.

VV, was that in large print so Patrick can read it?

As an impoverished student in Glasgow many moons ago, I once had the pleasure of witnessing Mr. Winner being ejected pre-meal from a (now Michelin starred) restaurant by the head chef, whose verbal tirade earned him a round of applause from the waiting staff (myself included) and other diners. This restaurant remains one of the few top-end british eateries that Winner has never, to the best of my knowledge, publicly reviewed. You can't fault his work on Death Wish, though. Cutting edge social commentary and cheer-inducing scumbag riddance; an awesome movie in every respect. The sequel was pretty damned good too. Are we e-sure that he's a good candidate? He's only 70, dear...

Welcome on board the good ship Deathlist, POD. On the Maradonna front, have you seen him recently? He'll outlive me at the rate he's going. He looks superb, all things considered. I reckon he has at least another 20 years left, now that he can't overeat and his penchant for the coca seems to be under control. He was touch-and-go for a while a couple of years back but, the way he's going, I wouldn't rule him out for a return to the argentinian national squad! Happy Deathlisting, Star Crossed