Star Crossed

Technically, it's not that hard to whack anybody. On US soil, citizens can (and you can debate the pros/cons of this one all night long) purchase long-range anti-personnel/anti-materiel rifles like these, provided they have around $15k to spare. Weapons like this are powerful and accurate enough to acquire a target as small as a human at ranges in excess of 1.5 kilometres. The human bomb option is the one that gives his security detail the biggest headache and is the reason why GWB's movements are so rigidly structured. There are, no doubt, countless willing martyrs who would use this option, given half a chance. GWB has an unprecedented level of security and also has the least-advanced travel schedule of any US President. You don't see GWB on a walkabout unless the area has been cleared for, literally, days beforehand by his special forces teams. This is the benefit of being Commander In Thief of the world's most potent military force. When he is out and about, his security detail consists typically of 3 concentric rings of bodyguards:- 1) Personal Bodyguards (right there with him, men in suits carrying small arms, ready to smother him and provide returning fire in the event of close-range personal attack) 2) Sniper/Counter-sniper (on rooftops/in buildings around any venue he attends; these soldiers are trained specifically to scan crowds/buildings for suspicious people and act accordingly. As you would expect, lethal force is carte-blanche for these chaps. If you look shifty enough, they can take you out with minimal additional authorisation.) 3) Tactical range defence (helicopters patrolling using visual, infra-red and other imaging techniques to look for possible threats and to provide coordination of any "threat mitigation" exercise on the ground.) This is a subject which I could discuss all day; it's actually a complex intellectual exercise, planning an assassination. It's difficult. If it was easy, it would have been done successfully by now. We don't know how many attempts have been thwarted; personally I believe there may have been several, up to and including a suicide pretzel . To quote Mr. Braithwaite in Enter The Dragon, "any bloody fool can pull a trigger". You are correct, any attempt to kill GWB would be a suicide mission. I personally would ensure that I finished the job myself, having first successfully "acquired the subject". I would, of course, telephone the press after my triumph with details of where to find my body, and hopefully they'd find the letter of admission/explanation taped to my corpse before the special forces got to it. No way I'm spending time at Camp X-Ray. A headshot as prestigious as GWB would be worthy of martyrdom. So... despite being the most universally hated and ridiculed world leader of modern times GWB is, imho, not going to be assassinated, simply because the windows of opportunities are so few, and his defence so tight.

Unfortunately, his freedom was fleeting; he's being sent back for another 4-stretch.

That may be one of the best thread revivals ever. I concur. Great resurrection. Gutted for sophie, though... I hope she wasn't harbouring any grudge over the lack of christmas card from the late Mr. Booth. I imagine that one or more of our DLers are keeping a secret tally of the best thread-revivals. Anyone? Anyone?...

A right-wing government in Canada may be disheartening to some, but it just means that when the big war between the democracy-loving euro-zone and the ultra-right-wing bible-fascist USofA arrives, we won't need to worry about our nukes straying north of the border. You get what you vote for. I mourn the potential death of your country, ie+ and Canuck Paul, and hope that Stephen Harper and his lunatic minions f**k-up so badly that they are chucked out of office asap. Canada now enters my "nice place, shame about the government" list (yes, Britain's on there too).

There's a good chance that MTM's stalker-dude is german, or gay, or both. I have nothing against either (or both, in his case) but let's, for boredom's sake, examine the evidence and profile this young 'un. If he ends up wasting her with a kitchen knife, we'll have a head-start on the FBI. 1) "Gluckschwein" (lucky pig) hanging on bead necklace. 2) Love-hearts on sweatshirt/top. 3) Classic "Euro-Zone"-type tourist shades on forehead. 4) Puffa jacket. The prosecution rests, your honour...

"The smaller the country, the bigger the leader": excerpts from an article by T P Sreenivasan. Believe it or not, If any of you have read this far, please, please go to Jane's Tonga Postcards Page. You'll need sound on to appreciate this. The muzak is almost unbelievable, it had me in stitches. Give it a few minutes, it really gets going. NB If you are suicidal, PLEASE don't listen to this music; it may just tip you over the edge. If that's what you're looking for though, that final push, by all means crank your amplifier and slip away. I've a good mind to email Jane to let her know just how much I "like" it.

Perhaps he's dead already. That would provide the Prince Regent who, conveniently, is also the tongan Prime Minister ‘Ulukalala Lavaka Ata, an opportunity to delay reformists' demands from being formally heard indefinitely. Pro-democracy Reformists: "Tell the king we want to talk" Prince Regent/Prime Minister: "He'll look into it as soon as he returns from NZ... I promise." I reckon they could keep up this "he's still in New Zealand" lark for a while, until they work out a way to avoid the burgeoning civil war. It's a precursor to the type of situation in Nepal at the moment, except without the state brutality, curfews and civil disobedience. Yet. Perhaps the Tongan revolution will be bloodless? They seem pretty chilled-out. Who knows? Maybe Taufa' knows, or maybe he's dead.

From Basildon, you say? Basildon Bond? Good job there's lead in your pencil. I'm not Irish, but I'll have a go as well. This isn't amateur night, Mr Bastard...

The beginning of his agonizingly long end was a looooong time ago in my opinion. July 14th, 1913, to be precise.

George Kennedy, you say? I'll love it if he dies in a plane crash. All those "near misses"; he cheated gravity-related death SO many times in the movies, Karma surely has a mid-air malfunction in store for him? With his many connections in big business and covert ops, I'm sure Kurt could arrange a fuel shortage/shoe-icide bomber on George's next 747 flight? Pilot: "Mayday, Mayday, this is American Airlines 590 heavy to JFK tower. George Kennedy on board. Repeat, George Kennedy on board. Please advise..." JFK Tower: "Stand by, 590 heavy. Activate your transponder and set your radio frequency to 78.25 for La Guardia control..." Flight Engineer"We're doomed, we're all doomed! Kennedy's jinxed us all! AAAagggh..."

I'm willing to bet that Oscar Niemeyer and the words to Carmina Burana could sort out some of this confusion.

Indeed. The real thing. Like Coke. I only know Pepsideutsch; a cheap, aspartame-laden version. My old german teacher would be spinning in her grave. If she were dead, that is. Any news on Niemeyer? (apart from his causative effect on South American dictatorships, global poverty, carpet burns, the rise of national socialism, corruption, split ends, etc) From Wikipedia: Sounds like he's got a pretty good racket going. A man that clever deserves to live a little longer... let's say, ooh, maybe... 10 months longer?

Ronnie Biggs is a certainty to see 2006, as are Brooke Astor, Patrick Moore and Fidel Castro.

A quarter past eight on a sunday morning, and I'm sat here weeping with laughter looking at these pictures. Superb stuff. Honez'/football_fan's comparison montage is brilliant too. Kudos to all involved.

Good work, fella. Never bothered looking at this thread before. Looks like a live one alright. The rant even got indexed. Love it.

Is it just my monitor, or has Bou's earring lost some sparkle? Did I imagine that?

I read the thread wrong too. I thought it said "Bill Clinton scat socks". Needless to say, I thought DL had been infiltrated by some filthy cash-click internet pornsters. It made me want to "empty my cookies folder" (pun intended). Incidentally, whilst looking for the link above, I found this quiz. Pretty taxing, but I scored 10 out of 14. I had, however, just spent two minutes looking for a suitable scat site to link to, so I guess you could say I was battle-hardened. Snickers, anyone?

Well there's a potential new sig. Perhaps this should be renamed given it's similarity to our beloved Castro thread. Suggestions? Carmina Burana´s 17th profane song(= remember 17 is the star in the tarot card deck and a symbol of communism). Stetit puella A girl stood rufa tunica; in a red tunic;(=red the colour of communists) si quis eam tetigit, if anyone touched it, tunica crepuit. the tunic rustled. Eia. Eia! Kill the Celtic Queen!!! A rare and controversial suggestion that a DL Moderator be put to death? Now the mystery ranter's got Bou implicated in the Castro/Niemeyer/Carmina Burana/Lula conspiracy? Guest, you are treading on mucho dangerous ground. If you will allow me to translate some passages from Carmina Burana:- Chramer, gip die varwe mir / Guest, give it a rest die min wengel roete, / with your tiny appendage damit ich die jungen man / with which you molest young men an ir dank der minnenliebe noete. / and we'll let this pass. Seht mich an, jungen man! / Listen good, young man Lat mich iu gevallen! / let me give you some sound advice! Minnet, tugentliche man, / take a minute, impetuous fool minnechliche frouwen! / don't make us frown! Our guest has now made 23 posts. 23, as we all know, was Michael Jordan's number whilst playing for the Chicago Bulls. "Bulls" is an abbreviation of "bullsh*t", and Michael Jordan's career is now over. Coincidence? I think not. Surely this alignment of the stars (which means "posts" in ancient Aramaic) spells the end for our guest ranter? This was all foretold in the Book of Revelations, Chapter 12, as follows:- 12:1 A great sign was seen in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars. / "a woman clothed with the sun" - surely this represents Bou's red evening gown?; "the moon at her feet" - she's a Moderator, a lofty position indeed. 12:11 They overcame him because of the Lamb's blood, and because of the word of their testimony. They didn't love their life, even to death. / "they overcame him..." - surely this means that DL will outlive the guest ranter?; "they didn't love their life, even to death" - of course, this represents the fascination with death held by many DL contributors. I rest my case.

I urge and press for the deletion of this thread. We do not negotiate with terrorists. I told you too shut up. Or i'll hire AJS to do his thing. [pedantic]Banshees my dear chap, do me a small favour... PLEASE use the correct "to" instead of "too". "Too" means "also"; if this is not the intended meaning, please use "to", which is a preposition. [/pedantic] Cheers! p.s. Why would anyone dislike Bou?

Donor kebab? Surely you don't mean this kind of donor? I'd definitely require a little drinky before asking for one of those in pitta bread with salad and sauce!

Ah, yes, the conditional tense. So much scope. Much as in the phrase "If I found out where you live, I would come and beat the living sh*t out of you" and the time-honoured classic "If I could get my hands on those meddling kids..." Brinsworth House and Dickie O' fans should be thanking DL for keeping them in the public eye, or at least higher-up in the Google listings than they would normally be. Being a showbiz sort, I'm sure you've heard the phrase "no publicity is bad publicity"? Dismount from your 16-hand mare immediately.

I see your Spanish lessons were about as successful as mine! Si.

Bah! You beat me to it. On both the announcement and the pun. Kudos.

He's dead, isn't he? Or did he rise again? I lose track...