Star Crossed

TAFKAG, don't start. Life Began At 5 O'Clock for you and ended shortly after. Joining again with the same online persona wasn't the smartest move. This time, hopefully, you'll gain a sense of perspective and settle down. Until then, take criticism with aplomb. The reason this forum can be a hard school is because we have standards, as I discussed with you last time you tried to join in. We don't like people like iain, who post inaccurate crap. If you can't post something informative, post something funny. By funny I don't mean a huge jpeg of some semi-naked girl whose birthday you just googled, I mean something which actually took you a bit of effort or was actually... funny. Your Swayze poem was good work. If you don't like the fact that some of us care about standards here, there are other forums. I've been told that the Hartlepool Deadlypool forum is almost an exact duplicate of this one, busier too, but I never go there so maybe you'd be better-off pissing in the shallow end of that (dead)pool... CP, why would you join in? You've nothing to gain. Here's $0.25, go buy yourself a bagel and a sense of humour, you soulless f*****g automaton. As for your comment about my posts being off-topic and attention-whoring? Laughable, Mr. I'm-the-man-with-the-deadpool-info-you-really-want, laughable. I don't know why you'd bother starting another round of public arguments with me; you'll always be a few steps behind on the evolutionary ladder. Yeah, all your posts are on-topic, yeah you contribute more to the look-i-just-trawled-another-newspaper-for-news-of-a-dying-celebrity-and-i-posted-it-here-before-anyone-else thread than most, but that has scarcely equated to anything approaching a quality contribution, in the opinion of most around here. I'm sure the Admins could, if they could be arsed, write some sort of searchbot program which would perform your function better and cheaper. Among the 'community' that is DL, you're the guy who collates articles for the village newsletter; the pen-pushing work-experience boy who tries hard but will never be in on the in-jokes, because he just doesn't get them. If anyone else wants to know why they're unworthy of licking the dog-sh*t from DL's boot-heel, I have a window around 15:00 today. Leave a message on the answerphone. And make it short; chipboard doesn't assemble itself, you know.

He should have been charged with wasting police time.

Once again, TAFKAG, you've grasped the wrong end of a relatively simple stick. Please take more care, darling... Mann fingered filthy gun-running, murdering criminal businessman Ely Calil but, unfortunately, denied any involvement by Archer or Mandelson. See the whole interview here. Footnote I: Channel 4 were allowed to broadcast this interview only after injunctions from Calil's lawyer and lawyers acting on behalf of Amanda, Simon's "adoring" wife, were overturned by a high court judge. Here's an article in the military forums (uk), which asks "why Mrs Mann should seek to silence her husband, especially when naming names could well, as Equatorial Guinea has suggested, be his ticket to freedom." Why, indeed? An interesting case this, and I doubt we'll ever get fully to the bottom of it. Footnote II: I was intrigued by the reference in the report to the fact that there is only one known photo of Ely Calil in existence, taken 30-odd years ago at his wedding (to an absolute stunner, see the film). How much power and control over his life must this guy have, if he can control the use of his image like this? He has huge financial interests all over the world, and is a notorious shithammer businessman. If I've heard of the guy prior to this E.G. affair, then he must be pretty well-known. Fascinating.

It is, however, misleading, given the title of this thread. Humphrey Lyttelton is NOT dead, or even unwell.

The only place Mark 'Thicko' Thatcher deserves a seat is on the board of directors of the Black Beach Prisoners' Futile Protests Regarding Chronic Starvation And Excessive Buggery By A Psycho Committee. I wish his mother would just die, so we could stop having to read about her in this thread. Unfortunately, I think she'll be around for many, many years to come. She should be left off next year's DL.

I agree, BS. We should build them a big palace on the Moon instead, from where they could observe the mundane trivialities of their Earth-bound subjects. Imagine the scene; Prince Phil looking through a huge telescope (maybe they could use the Hubble once it's been decommissioned), making hilariously demeaning comments about the many naked, ignorant cannibals he can see: Phil: Look at all those bloody nig-nogs, Liz, with their plate-lips and their cocks all hanging out. f*****g savages. Liz: Yes... well, that's New York for you! Phil: Mr. Burrell, prepare the royal laser-beam! Mwuah-ha-ha-ha-HA!

In Argentina, we believe the islands are ours (just look at a map, will you?). Plus the problem is not with "who started" the war, but with "who behaved live a war criminal?" What, like using hollowpoint bullets? Could we please get back on-topic, folks? This is the Marmite thread, not the Malvinas threa... ah... ok.

I wonder what she'd be like spread on toast.

Happy birthdays to Bridge Over The River Styx and Vaagheid! Remember you two, only post when absolutely necessary and a Happy Birthday for the 19th March to Grim Reaper, in case I'm not around then to wish him many happy returns.

Everyone is related to everyone if you go back about 2000 generations Or if you visit New Pitsligo.

Sounds like his doctors are taking the piss.

Ironically voted Sir Patrick Moore.

That might be the only good reason anyone ever found to go to Pompey.

Ramon Barquin has died, aged 93, which is a shame as I had him pencilled-in for my WDP team.

Sir Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in "Ghost"

No.

Unlike references to his other films, which will have to be more contrived. For example... It looks like Swayze's gone from "Point Break" to breaking-point.

By Jove, how time flies... March's episode, Return To The Moon, looked at planned missions to the Moon, with emphasis placed on a British-led mission to crash something heavy and fast at the Moon, and analyze the resulting impact ejecta. Unfortunately, Sir Patrick only appeared twice in this episode. He looked in splendid form both times, resplendent in his trademark black Vicuña-hair suit by Steed of Savile Row as he provided the opening and closing statements of the episode, essentially acting as anchorman to roving reporter, minge-hound and notorious society cat-burglar Chris Lintott. For all I know, Sir Patrick's health may be so bad this month that he could barely muster these 30 seconds of crisp coherence, cobbled together from the 57 takes it actually required to film them. I doubt it, though. He strikes me as a single-take merchant; after all, he's been doing the show for over 50 years. In the time spent not filming those links, I like to imagine Sir Patrick took a little R&R, Taufa'ahau Tupou IV-style: Sir Patrick Moore, surfing to take his mind off the burning question: "Will Mikey Dread get an obit?"

No, 'arry, if Diabolus were dead, OoO, DDT or CP would have mentioned it in the Bring Out Your Dead thread. Happy Birthday, OoO!

They should just bury him erect, balls-deep; he'd appreciate the irony, I'm sure. Plus, angry feminists could go and piss on his decomposing torso. Mind you, he'd probably have enjoyed that as well.

Ditto. Job's a good 'un

Would that be a bit like getting mugged by Stephen Hawking? [speakandspell=hawking]"just give us your wallet, yeah, an' mans won't get stab wi' dis dirty needle." [/speakandspell]

As with the 2000 and 2004 swindles elections, 2008's result is a foregone conclusion.

The life of Kevin Dunn is done. Sweet. Time to dust off the Accuracy International and start picking off the numerous cattylickers from my local council estate who will, no doubt, be making their shell-suited, Mary-hailing, Friday-fish-eating way to the local sinagogue. If we're lucky, the BBC might turn up and film a Songs Of Praise special from the abbey.

I wonder if she has a long tongue too... \m/ \m/