Captain of Industry

And I thought I'd finally found a safe space

I said that? Well I never!

Has anyone seen that scoundrel Bellender recently?

Sore arse?

An American fellow named Screen Said "One side of me you've never seen. My agreeable nature, I'm saving for later. Until then I'll remain a latrine."

No you aren't. And stop calling me nobber!

I er, er, er.... corwumph!!

You genius. I think the problem is that they couldn't think of a proper pun for the news title, and you've just provided the clue: The Lyon finally sleeps tonight! That's crap.

Not bad BS. How about this: "Ian Smith, the first Prime Minister of Rhodesia, whose unilateral decleration of independence from the UK in 1965 created a regime of white minority rule, has underlined his personal committment to UDI, resigning from life at the age of 88. His departure takes Deathlist in to double figures for the eighth consecutive year." The above keeps with Banshees line but it's tidier and shorter and leaves out phrases such as "unfortunately" that kind of depend on your point of view. It also avoids that clumsy language "emerge Deathlist" although I have seen much worse from BS. I thought he rose to the challenge pretty well. Well I prefer Banshees Scream's effort. There are slightly fewer spelling errors. Toodle Pip!

No mention of c**ts though.

I see it's turned out nice again!

It's Thursday here. So am I. Anyone fancy a pint?

I, I, I er corwumph...I must admit I get a strange, almost eerie feeling of satisfaction tinged with tingling excitement at the mere thought of conversing with myself. Imagine how enthralled and wrapped (or is it warped) in rapture I am when actually doing so. However; all that aside, in response to you and yours, no I am not as of yet legally schizophrenic.

Bleaaa-arggghh! I'm reliably informed that those chaps are in no way affiliated to the Church of Satan. In fact quite a few of them are Mormons, they say. Nonetheless, You shouldn't overlook some of the Unilever products. Omo and Persil to name but two.

Curtains....mmmm..... In MY world, curtains for children's rooms would be heavily lined and black. These little chappies may come in handy if you intend hanging those curtains up in a high-wear environment. Just to be on the safe side.

Need a helping hand Mr. Windsor? Why not try these chaps? Pleased to be of service.

I say, how jolly! Somebody said Bird's Eye: Bolldy oiks striking again? String 'em up with no supper, that'll show 'em! I wouldn't call Bird's Eye peas processed though, all we did was freeze them a little. What you are thinking of is Batchelor's Mushy Peas. Infernally horrid things which even a good steak and kidney pie can't redeem. We had to let them go. It's Campbells Soups you want if that's your cup of tea. Toodle pip then!

Although I did not meet the man, I was at a dinner for the launch of the BMW 850 series some years ago where Sir John was giving a speech. Sir John got plastered during the dinner and then gave an amusing speech littered with anecdotes about his wartime experiences, much to the discomfiture of the German hosts. The dinner was excellent, there was more wine and brandies than you could shake a stick at, and a good time was had by all. The booze was free all night and all accommodation was paid for. No wonder the car was so damn expensive. I, I, er.. well I never! Corwumph! Bloody Nora!

I.. er.. er.. corwumph!!

You're not having a particularly good day, are you Josco? Correct. I am trying to configure a printer using PCAnywhere over a network. Why are printers the work of the devil? Why do I work with PC's, I hate them with a vengeance! Telecoms was so much more straightforward. Need a Troubleshooter Mr Josco? I personally find a largish chunk of rose quartz gaffa-taped to the offending appliance works wonders to keep Ahriman in check. Bill's in the post.

In an old-fashioned view on democracy: yes. Less than a century ago women didn't have the vote in most western democracies. Things have changed, fortunately. regards, Hein And what about those chappies who invented the thing in the first place? The Greeks I think it was. Not many of their people actually got to take part either. If they could see us now, they'd probably do a lot of laughing to scorn, followed by a lot of head shaking in despair.

Didn't Rutter do almost all the most popular Christmas carol arrangements? Strong talk indeed from Miss Janeo. Not that I'm inclined to disagree particularly. Chap called Andrew Carter has written a couple of good Godsongs. Not that famous or particularly old, but when I chanced to meet him back in 1991 his breath stank as though he was already half rotten. Probably worth a mention on this thread.

Maybe you could wangle an invite to Thorpe Towers to check out his health first-hand. Mr Jackal, I see you describe yourself as a "Post-Twunt", whatever that might be. May I be permitted to ask how long ago you graduated from "Twunt" and if you were ever a "Pre-Twunt"?