The Pooka

I'm not a plump man Clarissa. It could get cold in that garden. However, I have lobbed my parkas in the wheely-bin and moved on. You are right. A long winter lies ahead. The colonies beckon................. Wow. See me lost for words. At least for 30 seconds. What can I say to that? Come on over, mate! Oh, wait - should I take offence at the reference to "the colonies"? Maybe you meant America..... Actually, that having been said, we had one of the coldest November days on record yesterday - it was hailing here in Melbourne, and snowing 20 miles away, a hitherto practically unheard of phenomenon, so don't know if summer's going to be hot or not! I was thinking of coming out for a Test match or two. But no tickets, alas. And now work is in the way. But I'll be there for the next tour so keep the Banrock sparkling Shiraz on ice.

Hi Clarissa. lovely to see you back. Am I imagining it or are you particularly fragrant tonight? Is that frangipan? PS The discussion with Windsor must NOT be confined to PMs. Many of us have empty lives. This is our Cup Final. Cheers, Pooka. I can't believe you guys have "smell-a-vision" over there in the old dart already! Just got back from 2 glorious weeks at the Sheraton Mirage resort in Port Douglas, so you can indeed smell frangipani on me! Good call! No, really, how did you know? Hope that's all you can smell.... About the "Windsor" thing - I think, sadly, that the Big W has lost his bite somewhere in the last 2 weeks - BS is desperately trying to help him recover it, but I think it may be lost forever...stand by for updates... Cup Final, eh? I'm flattered that someone's enjoying it...I never really liked my Mum's idea of "not airing your dirty linen in public" - it's so much fun the other way! Clarissa - I have a moderate hooter yet it still detects aromas like a cosmic Alsatian. I sense that you deodorise your right armpit less than the left. What is that about? You have mentioned your dirty linen. I suspect that Windsor and Banshee's have withdrawn for some solitary 'contemplation' as a result. May God forgive them.

I'm not a plump man Clarissa. It could get cold in that garden. However, I have lobbed my parkas in the wheely-bin and moved on. You are right. A long winter lies ahead. The colonies beckon.................

well just roll me in flour and F**k where it sticks

......... and the buggers still haven't apologised for De Valera sending a message of sympathy to the German embassy on hearing of the death of Hitler. Ahhhhhh........... but they dit it wid a twinkle in the oiye......

Hi Godot - very civil of you. The site has been lacklustre lately. I thought of returning to Cricinfo for my excitement. Windsor and LCR have popped a bit of tabasco up the Deathlist anus. And good for them.

Yeah, and I'm Christine Smart! Pull the other one, it plays Jingle Bells! If you can read, and I'm assuming you can, what with that expensive education and all, where did you read any insults towards "your mother" or "her friends", pray? Not here, mate. And you probably should have checked out the names of TW's kids before you started mouthing off.... And if you were the product of the union between TW and RO'S, I'm sure you'd know how to spell your own name - that would be J-A-M-I-E O'-S-U-L-L-I-V-A-N. Just name the time and place. Love M xxx It may well be him. I'm sure its the lad I saw masturbating freely over a picture of Pia Zadora as I glanced into the Wyatt ranch en passant one summer's night.

Hi Clarissa. lovely to see you back. Am I imagining it or are you particularly fragrant tonight? Is that frangipan? PS The discussion with Windsor must NOT be confined to PMs. Many of us have empty lives. This is our Cup Final.

Careful Carol Ann. I wouldn't want you to upset your even more bloodthirsty neighbours in New Mexico. Their penitentiary riot of 1980 features in one of the scariest documentaries ever seen. Inmates had their eyes burnt out with oxy-acetylene torches ....... and the main perpetrator is now free. Curiously no-one would give evidence against him. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Mexico_St...nitentiary_Riot

More like a bunch of proud haemorrhoids.

Jack!! Its all true. Dolls, wanking, chick-boys ............. anything goes. Well almost - none of us would ever F**k Tony Blackburn. Glad to hear about the decent balls. Yer mammy must love 'em.

Given recent events, it makes more sense than the Crucible.

I spent days clearing out the medicine cabinet and had only two visitors. Whoever they were I doubt that they'll have woken up yet. Still the wife's pleased I didn't give all her cytotoxics away. Every cloud etc........

There's an update on her health (well, from April) on her website. Basically to sum it up it says she has good and bad days - on her good days she's quite lucid, on bad days she just sleeps. The quote that is of interest to us (and especially those of us foolish enough to have her as our joker...) is "There is nothing life threatening going on". Either way, age is not on her side and I agree it does seem to have gone a bit quiet of late. However, perhaps there simply isn't anything new to report. We'll only know if she makes a public appearance or when she dies how she's doing. I'd be betting on a bout of flu or a cold over the winter. That should do the trick.

Funnily enough, I happened upon this pic of Arthur English earlier today: Beware the judderman when the moon is fat................

TF - have you been reading The People's Friend again?

Now if you try a wee bit harder you could achieve complete gibberish. ally - you're long way from home.

Perhaps some time in the future I will return to that (surreal post) mode or for that matter even bother posting more than an occasional snippet here and there.... well, I will post several snippets but the basics of how I posted are gone, I will not continue along in that format... what truly offends however is how T.H. can now be found in another thread continuing along as a sanctimonious twit. Well, so-be-it, he is a head honcho here and has certain clout....welcome to life. I appreciate the messages here and elsewhere of support and apologize to those who have been offended by my oddball ways and humor. Seem to have missed a page of posts BB. I see now that you are contrite and, indeed literate. Keep it up my good fellow and keep posting. Pip, pip.

Totally agree Lady Grendel. That's what I have done. I'm sure some people enjoy them. I did try to decipher them once, but life really is too short. Me too. The gag has worn too thin for me to bother. As I indicated, my apologies to all. End of story. Noo prbmles.. hic.

Totally agree Lady Grendel. That's what I have done. I'm sure some people enjoy them. I did try to decipher them once, but life really is too short. Me too. The gag has worn too thin for me to bother.

While a word like 'tard' is considered offensive, the problem is not the word, but the way people perceive tards. You can replace the word by any other, within weeks the euphemism du jour will get exactly the same offensive quality. In my life I've seen several cycles of this happen in Dutch: 'zwakzinnig' (feebleminded) was replaced by 'imbeciel', 'geestelijk gehandicapt' (mentally disabled), 'moeilijk lerend' (difficult learning) and 'verstandelijk gehandicapt' (intellectually disabled). In the days that politically correct language was in fashion more were proposed and cheerfully forgotten. regards, Hein Agree. A rose is a rose is a rose. Interestingly, I believe that the term 'learning difficulties' was rapidly superseded in the UK by 'learning disabilities' when dyslexic people objected to being grouped with people who had formerly been graded as idiots (IQ<40), imbeciles (IQ<60) and morons (IQ<80). I find it strange that, on a web-site where poor taste is a ticket of entry, I feel somewhat uneasy about the picture and the link........ and I'm not sure why.

That sounds a little bit rude. When I was at school we called gay men 'browners' and their preferred activity 'browning'. Are the terms still used? Whatever did Stefan mean?

Well, I was about to be awfully witty, make a comment about La Macca's talent as a pianist and post a link to Gladys Mills (d.1978). But I can find no images of Gladys and very little reference. Amazing considering she used to appear on Morecombe and Wise.

Excellent work Captain. You have 20 Masters level credits from the Deathlist University.

What an extremely odd link to post, mpfc! I'm not sure I get whatever (extremely) subtle social comment you're making... Like you, ie, I cannot follow MPFC's flow. He may have posted a bad link. He may just be suffering posting burn-out. Are you all right lad?