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Scraggy Taters

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Posts posted by Scraggy Taters

  4. Posted

     

     

     

     

    Jim Carey, talentless fucker.

    How long have I got ???

    not long if you keep being as humourless as that

    May I suggest you watch the 1st Ace Ventura. It features a plot with a choking "Yankee" sportsman who goes into hiding, how can that not be your thing.

     

    also, n.b, Jim Carrey is actually Canadian so every time he insults someone in one of his films "technically" it's anti-Americanism or something

    Didn't he give up being a canuk ala Pamela Anderson / Neil Young etc etc ? He took the dollar as far as I remember .

     

     

    And if being funny is all about contorting your melted face for larfs, why has Simon Weston not got an Academy Award ?

     

    'Cos he's a fighter, not a luvvie ?

  6. Posted

    Being a Brummie, Scraggy will know the difference between a buffalo and a bison.

    For non Brummies, the difference is you can't wash your hands in a buffalo. :lol:

    I have washed me hands in a buffalo, but got covered in poo and one of my marigold gloves got left in the anal cavity.

     

    Hang on..

    :referee: Me ? A brummie ? Meh. I'd rather be called a 'southern c*nt with a northern accent' than a 'brummie'.

     

    I was unfortunate to be born in Luton.. in fact the same hospital as '80s singer Paul Young.

    Though Luton now is a Halibut breeding ground shithole like Birmingham, but nearer London.

  8. Posted

     

    inside information from my Thailand wife. the King of Thailand has died but the government arnt telling as they fear civil unrest on a massive scale

    Those are some big words for a 13 year old!

     

    Be careful Doc, you might scare her & she'll block you.

  11. Posted

     

    No, not sarcasm. I don't know anything about Croatian pop but the whole German schlager world seems so clean cut and sickly sweet that I am sure there must be some hidden dark side to it all!

    German or Austrian schlager singers usually have rope-bound skeletons in their cellars :ghost2:

     

    I didn't know Joseph Fritzel was a schlager singer ?

    • Like 1

  14. Posted

     

    I'm a bit dizzy from a few pints from my pal's engagement party.

     

    Forgive me if I do a little catching up, although nobody of DDP worthiness has died in the several hours I've been out.

     

    Sadly, I remain single...happily, I remain single...

    1291y4.jpg

     

    No kiss, but you can certainly see me undercrackers while I have me monthly 'back,sack 'n' crack' treatment ! :)

     

     

    3653325379.jpg

  17. Posted

     

    Howard Marks aged 70 RIP

    I knew he wouldn't let me down.

     

    Edit: Wait... all I see is a Wikipedia edit.

    No actual obits. At least none I could find.

    Hoax?

     

    Yup, he's still with us. For now anyway. :)

  18. Posted

     

    Texas' oldest death row inmate has died of natural causes after 38 years waiting to be executed.
    Jack Harry Smith died two days ago at the age of 78.

     

    Oh well, all that waiting.. for nothing. Didn't even get his obligatory triple cheese-burger, fries & glass of cold beer.

    (That's what most death-row inmates have as a final meal, even though it gets shitted out an hour later as 2,000 volts blast it out the other end) :flame2:

  19. Posted

    I was that Dancing Queen and I had to wait a further three years to be legal at the age of 21. (I didn't wait.)

     

    That's the trouble with the Amish entertainment law. No dancing 'til yer 21.. yet you can legally drive a tractor pissed up on homemade moonshine, toss a pitchfork at rabid badgers & grow a dodgy beard with no moustache.. all at 16 !

     

    (why is there no 'roll-eyes' smilie ?) :scratchhead:

  22. Posted

    Sex and onions seem to be commonplace just recently; perhaps serious thought should be given to opening a new thread. :duck:

    Great idea ! A 'Death by sex,onions & other vegetables' thread !

     

    (Awaits Elton John to die as a result of a wrongly inserted horse carrot up his bumhole)

  23. Posted

     

    Sex and onions seem to be commonplace just recently; perhaps serious thought should be given to opening a new thread. :duck:

     

     

     

    Sex and onions are both analogous though...they both involve layers....

     

    .. and rings. erm, not to mention both smell after a while. (allegedly)

  24. Posted

     

     

     

    They can go in "Dead Pop Stars" when the time comes.

     

    If Charlotte Rae ,90 year old horse jockeys and a bunch of other randos can have their own thread then the most commercially succesful pop band of the 20th Century meet the bar for one easily.

     

    plus that notorious thread about British midget wrestling...

     

    amen to that........some people here tend to change side like the wind...one moment they're friends with you and then the other they shit against you.....fucking drama queens

     

    This is an ABBA thread.. so technically... fucking Dancing Queens.

    • Like 5
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