Godot

Don't they call that spanking the monkey? Good to see you're still with us Banshees.

That's more of a north west pronunciation MPFC, just as anyone from Lancashire would pronounce look as lewk. In Yorkshire, the county that that put the Grim in fairy tales, book is buck and look is luck. Equally a bus is never a buzz as it is in Salford. Eddie Wareing, a Dewsbury lad, would indeed stray towards the "oop" in pronouncing "up and under" but he was probably influenced by Lancashire posh. He did have his effete side, dressing in stripey blazers for It's a Knockout. Wessies definitely use a gutteral "uh" pronunciation in "up". So "Whatsup withee?" would not sound like "what's oop?" To talk that way would be to invite a smack in the mouth for acting like a pansy. "I'm going for a sup and sum grub in t'pub," would therefore sound just so and not: "I'm going for some soup and some fewd in the poob." Newbody talks lahk that arrand 'ere.

A few provocative ads here once (or still) considered shocking.

While I'm at it (this is not a Carry on script), I'd like to share this blog post on the revival of the Sunday Sport. There's a delightful snippet about a Scotsman sitting on his new bride's knee plus dwarf paparazzi employed for up-shots. The blogger also has a super injunction quiz.

Hmmm, stuff about various folk here. I've never heard of some of these people. Actors in Shameless? They're having a laugh. So here's a short deathlist for next year chosen from a quick look at Twitter: Euan McGregor, Jose Mourinho Avram Grant Ryan Giggs David Schneider (weird-looking actor) Gordon Ramsey, Hugh Bonneville. I've crossed off Jemima and Jeremy since they say its just good publicity and Andrew Marr has outed himself. Can any names be added? I take it people have to fork out £50,000 for a super-injunction. Money down the drain and considerably more than a session with a prostitute if these stories are to be believed. The judges must be laughing all the way to the bank (or wherever they go for their own peculiar pleasures). Gagging orders? A license to print money, I say.

Where are all these tweets that are causing the latest fuss? Anyone got a link? I'm getting a bit confused now between the real gagging order stories and the tittle tattle about Jemima Puddleduck and Euan McGregor. Or was it Alan Shearer? Anyway none of it is believable. Ryan Giggs is such a nice man, as is Gabby Yorath, not like that horrible Clarkson bloke who probably started the rumour. Maybe we could throw a judge in to the pot for good measure. And then there's that bloke from Downton Abbey, what's (who) he supposed to have done?

Just back from a trip and heard Bin Laden has been buried at sea. It hasn't sunk in yet.

Cat burglary no less.

Ex Ray Spex. Poly Gon? I knew her body double - Poly Filla.

I have some sympathy with these sentiments but the danger is that expensive gagging orders might be perceived by the rich and famous as a kind of "license to shag" with impunity while projecting a saintly image to an otherwise unsuspecting public. I'm sure that Americans felt safer in their beds when J Edgar Hoover was running the FBI, but imagine the harm that could have been done had Hoover been blackmailed using images of him dressed in high heels, stockings and a fluffy black dress (although these stories may not be true). Once you start gagging the press you create fertile ground for the rumour mill that flourishes among the Twitterarti and bloggerdom.

Haven't been around much lately but I haven't seen any discussion on all these gagging orders that have been passed recently by the judiciary. Mr Justice Eady seems particularly fond of his Contra Mundum powers. Anyway there's a bit of background discussion here on the England captaincy. I wonder who the unnamed party is in the Imogen Thomas case?

I was booking a flight on EasyJet yesterday and I noticed the online birth date options started at 1850, so there's nothing to stop him travelling as long as he doesn't mind paying for each piece of luggage, in flight meals, priority bath chair etc. It's really inclusive of them to have an upper age limit of 161.

This US journo has been watching too many films. Cape Fear? Sooner or later they're going to be quoting the local mayor telling everyone it's safe to go back on the beach. Here's the real problem for the hacks: Quote for next report? "We're going to need a bigger digger."

I thought there was a serial killers thread too. Apparently there is a new nutter on the loose in New York, the "Bodies on the Beach" murderer. He has killed at least eight prostitutes so far: http://abcnewsradioonline.com/national-new...d-on-beach.html http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40656155/ns/us...ime_and_courts/ So will he be caught or kill himself? Reading that first report I could imagine US readers reacting more to the mention of "tick infested" scrub and poison ivy than the discovery of bodies. "Hey Marlene, says here, twenty police officers been treated for poison ivy. Can't be too careful. And them darn ticks are bad this year." It's like something out of a Larson cartoon.

There are two owls on Twitter. One says: "I am going to send two tweets''. The other says "Two tweets to who?". Well it tickled me but then it doesn't take much.

One of the best bits of the DL are the witty headlines that mark a hit. The Grim Reaper seems finely tuned to the possibilities but we all like to chip in our own ideas and get some satisfaction when they hit the mark. This thread is designed as a pun bank for the list so that when the time comes there might be a few contenders here for that crucial send off headline. I've just been looking down this year's list and it's a challenge finding apposite epitaphs for some of them. Here are one or two lame (and pretty obvious) efforts to get this going: Dicky Cheney: "Cheney Dicked" Harry Morgan: "Harry Mashed" or "Painless end for Harry" Aretha Franklin: "Last Respect" Frank Thornton: "Going up" Vera Lynn: "Whale meat" Ray Bradbury: "Carbonised" Ronnie Biggs: "Derailed" Margaret Thacher "Gotcha!" Kim Jong-il: "Kim Jong-dead" Zsa Zsa Gabor: "Nine marriages and a funeral" Betty Ford: "Dried out" John Edrich "stumped" or "run out for (age at death)" Kirk Douglas: "Thumbs down for Spartacus" Michael Douglas: "Fallen down" Gerry Rafferty: "Dead on his feet", "Stuck in the ground", "Falls off his chair" Jake LaMotta: "Technical knockout" Elizabeth Taylor: "Gone for a Burton" Anna Wing: "An' a prayer" Dom Mintoff: "Maltese loss" Ian Brady: "Moors the merrier" Herbert Lom: "Cleausaued"

Don't ask us Bou, ask good old Honest John. . What Car readers but generally positive, without having driven it..

Find a new hill for your cheese.