Dr. Zorders

You actually watch that shit?

I think the "disoriented" part is just a genetic thing.

Booooooo. Never seen Hang 'Em High but I'm sure it's somewhere on one of my many scrappy, hastily-scribbled "movies to watch eventually" lists. Not sure why, but it annoys me when movie directors die before I've seen their movies. I mean, if they were still alive while I was old enough to actually watch them/be aware of them, that is. Plus it's just generally sad to me when any decent movie person dies since I love films so much.

For a few seconds, he would have felt as bad as we Brits feel every time we hear his accent in "Mary Poppins".

I know there's still faintly lingering "conspiracy theories" about it. But who would kill a 93 year old former Nazi (who was not always considered to be the brightest bulb in the pack anyway, if my brief skimming of the subject hasn't led me to the wrong conclusion). I'm kinda struggling to understand what there is to gain, other than perhaps some property developer wanted the land that Spandau was on (because the prison was demolished after it became empty with Hess' death).

THE FUCK!!!! I'm just gonna go ahead and say it, he's actually lucky to be alive.

On August 17th 1987, Rudolf Hess, Hitler's former deputy, and the last remaining inmate of Spandau Prison in Germany, which housed convicted Nazi war criminals, committed suicide by strangling himself with the electrical cord from a heater. He was 93 and had been the sole remaining inmate since 1966.

Man in Bolivia claims to be oldest ever recorded living person (123 years of age, beating that French bat who died in 1997 by 1 year) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/16/carmelo-flores-laura-aymara-bolivia-oldest-man-person-ever_n_3769218.html

I think everyone's got Yew Tree fatigue at this point.

What are the odd's of his name being paddy power , NO seriously what are the odds? Tree tousand tree hundred and tirty tree to one.

Whoops, I almost forgot to post this (it still is 14th August here, just about). 25 years ago, on August 14th 1988, Enzo Ferrari, founder of Ferrari, died at the age of 90, in Maranello, Italy. Before he died, he signed Nigel Mansell up to the Ferrari F1 team for the 1989 season onwards. Mansell was the last driver to be hand-picked by Enzo himself. Then a few weeks later at the Italian Grand Prix, Ferrari's home race, a small miracle occurred when both of the McLaren cars, which had utterly dominated the season, somehow both managed to drop out of the race. Alain Prost had a rare engine failure and Ayrton Senna got bumped out of the race by hapless backmarker Jean-Louis Schlesser, who was only in the race in the first place becuase he was a temporary replacement for Mansell (driving for Williams) who had a very bad case of chickenpox (yes, really). The two Ferraris inherited 1st and 2nd places, when they had been nowhere near a race-win all season. Indeed, by the end of the season McLaren had won 15 out of the 16 races and the Italian GP ended up being Ferrari's only win that year. Surely even the least superstitious people would get a smile out of that turn of events.

I don't think he'll like you calling him English, boyo. He's coming home. Baddiel and Skinner.......?

Fixed Absolutely. Marcus Brigstocke is about as funny as having both your grandparents suffer strokes at the Christmas dinner table, in front of the kids. He's not that funny. Shouldn't this and other recent posts be in the shit comedians thread? Oh, there isn't one. Is there a thread for Radio Four? That has more than its fair share of unfunny comedy shows these days while I'm sorry I haven't a Clue stands head, shoulders and knees above the rest. Miranda Hart isn't a munchkin either, so she'll have to wait her turn too. Well it is kind of on topic because he's a comedy midget.

Fixed Absolutely. Marcus Brigstocke is about as funny as having both your grandparents suffer strokes at the Christmas dinner table, in front of the kids.

Definitely not him then.

Hmm. It's by Renny Harlin, the guy who shot Die Hard 2. It's actually small miracle to me that he once directed a movie as entertaining as Die Hard 2. I can't stand his work these days, but there are directors out there that I hate a lot more than him. He also made 1993's "Cliffhanger" (you know that one with Stallone as a mountain climber or something) and "Deep Blue Sea", that one from 1999 with the genetically enhanced sharks "going nuts" and attacking a bunch of curiously good looking, young scientists (and Samuel L Jackson) in their research base in the middle of the sea. There's probably nothing else by him that you've heard of (or want to be reminded of). IMO the only person who I think could possibly visualize a way to make the movie as scary and compelling as the story is on paper, is Stanley Kubrick and he's been dead 14 years. The trailer immediately put me in mind of the 2011 "The Thing" remake, but even more shitty. Seems like their explanation for it is a weird underground base full of aliens or something like that....... a little lame really, just seems like a Blair-Witch wannabe with aliens.

Lost Orson Welles film discovered: and it's called "Too Much Johnson"....... hahaha http://www.theguardian.com/film/filmblog/2013/aug/08/orson-welles-film-discovered-too-much-johnson

Ohhhhhhhhhh......... fuck! Poor guy..... wow, I can't believe that. Here's a summary/musical montage of his final against Martin Adams (an extremely dramatic one, I remember watching it live. I was lucky because I certainly didn't watch much darts then so I picked a great match to watch). 2007 was his first time he ever qualified for the televised stages of the championship, after attempting to qualify from as far down as the regional qualifiers since some time in the mid 80s.

haha....... the HMRC one is probably my best bet........ Well in case you can't tell I was really fucking spooked by that. The only time you usually hear a noise like that coming from a car driving that slow is when some religious nut is telling everyone the end is nigh or something. The weirdest shit I can remember happening in this neck of the woods in a long time. I'm sure everybody's had "pikeys at the door" trying to sell you stuff but never seen anything like that. I mean was that just a complete one-off or do they now go around trying to blast everyone's ears off and that's the first time I've heard of it?

Wow. Sounds like reality TV (well, at least, this particular show anyway) is finally reaching the kind of depths/doing the kinds of things to people that some "doom-mongering" cultural observers have predicted previously. I vaguely saw about the repeated racist remarks that were caught on camera but had no idea it had got to this level.

I've got two questions here. Has anyone else had any problems with chavs/pikeys equipped with loudspeakers? That might sound like a weird question but read on. Also, the other one is, has anyone else had problems with demented, batty relatives/family members as bad as I have? I really doubt you have. Specifically, it's my mum driving me up the wall again and it's not even remotely funny, or possible to shrug it off/file it under "general grievance" with everything else she does, this time. Apparently at about 2PM today some shameless chavs/pikeys (whatever) were driving slowly around in a pick-up truck with a bunch of (quite presumably stolen) scrap metal in the back, either trying to buy some more from people on our suburban street, or sell some of it to us, I'm not sure. And believe it or not they had a bizarre fucking loudspeaker system going, with some weird, really loud noise coming out of it, that sounded like some religious chanting or something (and I don't think they even realised that's what it sounded like). I guess they must have been shouting "scrap metal" but the speaker was so fucking primitive it just sounded like some weird chanting. And it was incredibly loud. It was like a bizarre, hellish version of an ice cream van that travels around Mordor selling gritty choc-ices spiked with razor blades and nails. Or something out of one of the Mad Max movies or something. I know this because I she videotaped it and then phoned the police about it. God bless all the people who decided to put video cameras in every phone because now every sheltered, clueless middle class twat out there thinks they're a cop or a journalist. She openly stood out on the street and videotaped these feral, inbred weirdos, instead of keeping out of the way (or at least making at least SOME FUCKING EFFORT to make the filming covert, like any sensible, vaguely world-aware person would do). Seemingly the demented, loony old bat must have seriously believed that they would see her and think "OH NO, LOOK, IT'S AN UPSTANDING CITIZEN WITH A CAMERAPHONE! RUN!" instead of just laughing at her (which is what they probably did). So I guess I'm now sitting here waiting for them to come back and take some sort of revenge. I guess she must think the guys from New Tricks will come round and save her if anyone tries to get revenge on her because she seems very calm considering what an incredibly twatty thing she did. If they actually got picked up by the police, then no doubt they'll get a fixed penalty notice for noise disturbance or something and then the first thing they'll do is head straight back here looking for us. I'm just wondering if it will be limited to egging us, or they will try and stick something through the door or whatever. Hopefully the former, obviously. Does anyone else think I'm being paranoid? I just want to know, I'm probably not gonna actually change my mind even if you do think I'm paranoid or I'm a "pussy" or whatever. Because if you had heard how loud this thing was, you would be as apprehensive about these people as I was. If they're confident enough to go around making this much noise then they're probably not very afraid of the police, and probably very aware that policemen these days seem to think their duty ends when they've said "We'll look into it", then hang up the phone and go back to their extended coffee break. The worst part is the fucking sheltered, ignorant, clowntastic, Lord-Peter-Wimsey-reading cow actually thinks that she's smarter than me and she knows more about the world than those of us in this family who actually deal with it. I can't even tell my dad what happened today because we have a sort of "policy" of not telling him stressful things if we don't have to, because he has high blood pressure. So I can't even get him to tell her off and try to talk some sense into her. And even if you think I'm being needlessly scared, you should know that this wouldn't actually be the first time my mother has casually endangered our lives in the last few months and then refused to apologise for it. This weird little incident has rather changed the urgency of my goal of not-living-with-my-parents-anymore from being a "by the end of the year" thing to a "by the end of the fucking day, if possible" thing.

And yet, when women leave men because they got their legs blown off in a war or some other dangerous job, it's "understandable" because of the "marital difficulties" it causes, and you will never ever see it described in condemning/damning terms in the Huffington Post or whatever's your "liberal" choice of publication. Or any publication for that matter.

Haha that's priceless. They've even managed to find a picture of her looking like the female version of Victor Meldrew.

Uh, that's okay I'm not that sensitive. It's not like they're mine is it? Anyway I already saw them all over the TV news, duh. The real reason it struck a nerve was because of a couple of bad experiences I've personally had with careless animal owners, which isn't surprising considering I've grown up in one of the chavviest places in the world - you might have heard of it, it's called Britain. Obviously nothing as bad as a python though.....

That's really fucking awful. Yeah but I think I've got a pretty good fucking idea. Some incompetent and/or lazy, careless cunt didn't lock it up properly. Oh, and just remember, it probably can't have choked them both to death at the same time so that means one of the poor little fuckers would have been waken up by the noise and had to watch the other one die and then watch a python slither over and choke him. Hope the person who is responsible for this gets life. But they will probably just get the same lenient fucking sentence that drunk-driver killers get. There are few things lower than people who own deadly animals but can't control them or can't be bothered to control them.