Dr. Zorders

I want to meet Prince Philip to ask him if he wants to hire me as his new joke writer since Bernard Manning's been dead 8 years tomorrow.

I don't remember that at all. After looking it up he was killed at 10PM Indian time which I guess would have been during Neighbours or something over here, I dunno. If they'd interrupted one of my favourite TV shows as a kid, just to deliver the shocking news that the Indians had decided to knock off yet another member of the Gandhi family, then by fuck I would be incredibly retrospectively angry about that. Was anyone else "up for Diana"? (ha ha?) I remember just flicking the telly on at 6am on a Sunday morning for no reason and was rewarded with the shocking news and those impressively grisly pictures of the remains of the Merc.

If it's any comfort to you he didn't literally die there on the actual toilet... there was a good reconstruction-filled documentary about it on Channel 5 last year innit. When he realised he was having the bad kind of "heart-pounder" he got up and staggered forward in an attempt to get help. So he died face-down, flabby-arse-up in the bathroom with his pants round his ankles, much more dignified I'm sure you'll agree.

Reports coming in that he bet his life on black

My opinion is that I am wrong and you are right. Thus I win. wha...?

Repeat ad infinitum I am not a civil servent. Yes I came from a working class background but for me Christopher Lee was a superb actor who had a remarkable and long career. He was not known for making political statements and I would not have held them against him. I was a big fan of Patrick Moore and he was well known Tory (later UKIP) supporter but he was a great astronomer and science communicator. I know i'm not but what am you? (kidding. I promise if I ever make another civil service joke I'll paint my hall white.) I was only saying it was mildly "ironic" too jeez calm your teets. I just noticed his very posh birth and death thats all. No spottings of him yet so far, I think the garlic worked.

The new song might e affect Rolf's parole bid: http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-06-15/alleged-harris-letter-should-lead-to-parole-review-lawyer-says/6545282 He could be paroled as early as autumn 2017, but that's dependent on clear remorse and being reformed. So, whether the board listen to the solicitor for his victims or not, Rolfie's done himself no favours with the song. The parole board won't wobble.

^Who are these people that can kick a ball really well? I know there's like that one Argentinian guy in Spain or something but AFAIK that's about all...

Everyone who works at the BBC is tied for 1st place in the "most retarded human beings ever" list.

You mean you're gonna blitz the old bio pages? Isn't that slightly being the ISIS of the internet, blowing up artefacts?

Ironic that it was Bibliogryphon who's most upset about a guy who was born in Belgravia and died in Chelsea. (Actually, on his civil service wages he's probably got three immaculately-kept flats in each district, but, y'know just saying "on paper" he's left-wing.) Lee was also a Tory y'know.

Again..... nope... What's wrong with posting images the simple old way? It's like watching a 430lb Downs kid struggling to put his trousers on at the moment.

Another mental image you didn't need... (no seriously)

A case of "bye-de-bye" then. Yeah, yeah, I know where my coat is... Note the fences to keep people in. Anyway, Rik Mayall was perfectly explicable. It was Tony Blair's fault. I was gonna post his death on here but my feelings was hurt on the subject, cause I remembered... if you look up the relevant thread I offered to explain why but no-one was interested.

I would have backed you up on the other stuff if you hadn't gone around farting like a hyperactive Tyneside terrier or summat. Most normal people only wanna sniff their own farts.

Yeah but the price of it is murder these days!

The career of a lifetime.... right down the drain....

How about a sip of this to his memory

Probably best to put garlic up around the windows and doors tonight.

If someone tried that joke on him he'd probably kill them. Oh wait...

*skimreads* something something, Great Khali's package? Okay..........

The only people who care about months are tax inspectors, astrologers and period-havers.

Young Americans get taught some manners in Polite Academy Mel Gibson deals with the repercussions after sending an angry telecommunication in Mad Fax Niki Lauda goes back to the Nurburgring to try and find the wreck of his old crashed car - Rust Leonardo DiCaprio goes to an insane asylum for people obsessed with toilets - Shitter Island Tom Hanks tries to get an embarrassing lump removed in Cyst Away Margaret Thatcher moves to the Highland region and gets a sex change in The Iron Laddy Seth MacFarlane is a gun-toting adjustable bed salesman in A Million Ways to Lie in the West Barack Obama decides the dollar isn't worth the paper it's printed on and gets his exchanged - All The President's Yen

I'm scoffing a pack right now in his memory.

While we're all still chipping in I will point out how ironic it is for a "genius" to die in New Jersey. (Americans DLers do not need informing of this, but it would have been good of them to point it out the lazy fucks) Also happened to another slightly more famous genius.