Brinsworth House Baiter

And I'll take a wild guess that he's not heavy either.

Well, this is a witty, intellectual thread I must say. Is their any fresh news regarding the slack breasted exercise video queen's health then? Is there not already an existing Barbara (note the second 'a') Windsor thread? Can godsbollox talk anything but?

If only I had known- we could have met up and 'arched' some arrows together or discussed the price of Wellington boots. We could even have discussed which game compliments gravy the best; rabbit or run over pheasant- such was our close proximity at that point where you were skulking around trying to feed your box frenzy. Darn it. Yet another potentially magnificent drinking session that never occurred.

I would suspect that you might have been physically safer in the Hungarian hospital than one of ours, given rates of MRSA, tired nurses tending the sick in between coke-fuelled sex with porters and morphine addicted doctors and surgeons not washing their hands after taking a sh*t. Glad your injury turned out to have no worse lingering affects than giving all your fellow DListers a F*****g good laugh! I have this wonderful image of you yelling out a startled, yet comedic, 'ey, oop!' as the front wheel of your bicycle hit the pothole and you realised you were becoming a cropper. Northern slapstick at its best.

Bullshit. He is still hunched up in the corner of a cave somewhere. Bullshit. With our F*****g slack immigration laws he's more likely to be on full benefits in a bedsit in Crawley.

Happy Birthday Windsor! You have the dubious accolade of sharing your birthday with our eight year old monster. I have just told her and she looks less than thrilled, but then not even you can compete with freshly unwrapped Bratz dolls (is it just me, or does that last bit sound distictly seedy and unseemly?).

The one in colour is Donna Dixon, the one in black & white is Natalie Wood. Thank you, O of O. I was still none the wiser, until I 'popped her into Google' and discovered that she was the hot looking bint in 'Spies Like Us' who wore Russian furry type clothing. Mmm. And she was the dream sequence girl in 'Wayne's World' too, apparently. This is what I truly love about DL- it's educational.

Okay. I once had sex with a dwarf. Jesus Christ man, Was she under 4ft tall? F**k! Affirmative, but I can assure you that she was 'of age' as gentlemen of my persuasion say. She looked like that dwarven bint in Total Recall. Horny, but comedic.

Godot wrote: I've met a lot of those in my time.

I'm probably being thick, but who is that bird below Giselle Bundchen and above Diana Rigg? I'm asking because I think she's hot and wish to trouble my browser with her identity; followed by random words such as 'naked, sweaty, baking cakes in wellies, having sex with dwarven men, okay I'll settle for looking excited at a koi carp farm.' She's hot, I tell thee!

Okay. I once had sex with a dwarf.

Good news! I'm celebrating too! For additional reasons. Although already, which, at eight o' clock in the morning is quite worrying, I grant you, but the dark days of Doug Herbert Ellis are nearly over... C'mon Villa!

It's still missing and, seeing as my threats of torture were met by much derision at BHB Towers, I have decided to be typically British about it- ie, I shall wait, do nothing about it and see if it turns up. Until then, James Ellroy's 'LA Confidential' has my attention.

I've not wanted to read The Da Vinci Code because it has received so much high praise, and things that receive high praise from the general media are usually completely rubbish... but I am thinking of giving it a try now based on your opinion BHB. I am trusting your individualism here. Six, give it a go! Finished it yesterday afternoon out in the garden and I was pleasantly surprised. It's a very good book with some nice twists, although I wouldn't say it was the masterpiece that all these media types claimed it to be- not a patch on a decent King for example. Talking of whom I was considering dusting off all his tomes on my shelves and re-reading them from the beginning, starting with Carrie, but I have now put off this plan as I noticed, when planning my King marathon this morning, that my copy of The Stand is missing. I am currently interrogating the family one by one, even baby BHB, but so far she has not uttered a word. She must be aware of her right to remain silent. Tonight I plan to do the old trick of leaving the lights off, turning my back and urging the guilty person to place the book on the coffee table for when the light is turned back on- with guaranteed anonymity. However, if this doesn't work, tomorrow I shall be going all 'Sayid' on their asses. There'll be torturous screams in BHB Towers come morning... <effects Vincent Price-like evil laugh>

Now that is, beyond a doubt, not a band at all. It's actually a still from the little known eightie's bongo flick 'Captain Birdseye Gets A Group Handjob.' I recognise my uncle again. And my cousin. I did mention that I grew up in Devon, right?

I believe he was represented in court by A. Morissette & Partners. Well isn't it ironic? Anyways it's like one heck of a jagged little pill to swallow this news. C- Bruno must try harder. I don't know, certainly made me smile. CP wrote: Why has that thread been closed? I, for one, found it very amusing. And 86 posts to the good would seem to suggest that fellow members agreed likewise. Having said that, the mods will all be glad to know that I couldn't give that much of a F**k and will not be protesting as strongly as when the Dicky O thread was temporarily locked one time. Ah, happy days eh, Dr. Hackenslash? However, I shall miss those classy birds at the BBC swearing like docker whores.

CP Wrote: Jesus! Now that really is some imagery I could have done without- CP & his shorn scrotum.

Wouldn't a Doug Ellis biography be a better choice? Lol, now you mention it, yeah!

Like anyone gives a flying crap, but a promise is a promise. It was a bloody good read and I was astounded by how much the man achieved during his life. I was also a little surprised to learn that Jimmy Edwards was gay- gives a whole new interpretation to 'Whack O!' Anyway, The Da Vinci Code next- yeah, I know, but I'm always put off by stuff that everyone else likes- I like to be a bit individual. I'm halfway through it at the mo and, it pains me to say, it's a F*****g good read.

Mmm. This perturbs me, as I've just gotten round to starting the Da Vinci Code. Maybe I have a hitherto unnoticed 'talent/gift' for causing the deaths of people from organisations I read about? I'm off down Waterstones to buy a book about Big Brother contestants...

Cowboy Ronnie wrote: Hey! That's just plain nasty! I take your point though...

Hmmm. I would have thought mightiness would require sweeping all before them, rather than winning something significant one season in the 20th century and one season in the 19th century. The Real Madrid team, for example, who won the first 5 European Cups, may be considered by some to have been mighty. Hmmm. So winning the European Cup, the FA Cup seven times, etc. etc. doesn't, in any way at all, make a team mighty? You have to win the European Cup 5 times to even be considered by some as mighty? Uh-huh. And is just me, but does the word 'mightiness' put anyone else in mind of marmite on toast? Hmmm!

No. Pissed as a handcart.

? 1981-1982. And have a look at about 100 years before that. Christ, we were like Man U then. Only with longer shorts and hobnail boots.

Thought it was about this thread came back up on top of the page, you bitches, After all, got a shout in the mail last week, in case you did'na looka, Doctor's looked at my boil and prescribed me leeches, But at least Wyatt's safe from the Pooka. TLC wishes it's true and not a lie, But Tessa's filed a complaint, Pooka rolls his eyes and says 'why oh why?' TLC breaks the news, 'she's late.' Ahem! That's what happens if you listen to Harry Nilsson too much. Challenge: Keep the verses going....over to you....