Brinsworth House Baiter

Puts me in mind of that Michael Douglas film, 'Falling Down' where he walks across the golf course and shoots the buggy and the guy has a heart attack. I can picture Godot now, standing over someone and saying that the worst thing about it all is that they're going to die 'wearing that stupid F*****g hat.' You have a point BHB. I do hate local club golfers and the whole golf club scene. One of them nearly hit me with a ball a while back when I was on my walk. I hate the electric gate on the private car park and the parking space for the club captain. I hate putting greens. All that pampering over a bit of F*****g grass when people in Sudan are having dust for breakfast. I hate the whole pointlessness of it all (although I quite like the pointlessness too). Who was it who called it a "a good walk spoilt"? I hate all the snooty, snobbish middle-class, white colonial we-don't-want-any-blacks-living-next-door-to-us, lardydah, conceited, twatish home countyness of it all. I don't mind the professionals. It's the weekend players and the people who watch golf who wear those ridiculous shorts and those silly eye-shades and I don't like Peter Allis, Mr God's gift to golf, it's about time he was deathlisted, he's so up himself he makes me feel physically sick every time I hear him speak. Do I hate golf. So, I take it I can't interest you in a round or two this weekend?

Puts me in mind of that Michael Douglas film, 'Falling Down' where he walks across the golf course and shoots the buggy and the guy has a heart attack. I can picture Godot now, standing over someone and saying that the worst thing about it all is that they're going to die 'wearing that stupid F*****g hat.'

Oh Mary, please don't keep us all in suspenders... name the guilty party as soon as possible so we can all bombard him with e-mail/ letters/ phone calls in order to get this sitcom legend the recognition he so rightfully deserves. Excellent work by the MPFC spying division (which actually sounds incredibly sinister if you effect a Russian accent) by the way. I am sure medals and a photo shoot with Mister Blair are just around the corner.

Thanks Handrejka, Six, ie+ and Captain Oates, perhaps you and I would make more posts if we took up whoring together Handrejka!! Ok. We could wear our boots Can I be the official photographer?

Baroness? PD James is a woman? You know, I never realised that, but then I've haven't read any of her books. I was aware of the tv adaptations etc. but somehow always assumed PD James to be a middle to old aged ex-forces type living in Devon, as against a little white haired old lady. I feel like an ignorant berk who's just had his day enlightened.

You Are Iceman You tried to live a normal life, but it just wasn't possible A bit of a slacker, you rather tell jokes than cultivate your powers Powers: turning self and others into ice, making ice weapons, becoming nearly invisible Which of the X-Men Are You? http://www.blogthings.com/whichofthexmenareyouquiz/ I am really quite spooked by how accurate that assessment of my character actually is! Welcome to the forum, Bloody Mary.

Is this what they call a veiled compliment?

F**k me. You make a concerted effort to be civil, ask a question out of genuine interest and look what happens! Three pages of text speak, illiterate rubbish and more ranting about Albion than you get down the Hawthorns on a Saturday afternoon. The sentence wasn't bothering me, well, only in terms that I thought I might be missing some of the man's music from my collection. As Pulphack said, if you bothered to read the thread you might have noticed several of my posts defending the man. Well, his music and songwriting abilities anyway, as it's painfully apparent that the man himself is a grade one prick. I see he is proving a sterling role model for yourself.

Couldn't you find a bigger picture Banshees? Yes, nice work finding a picture of that little girl's arse. Mmm, seriously questioning your sense of perception, Gunjaman. However I shall not allow it to make me feel guilty as I ogle that picture Banshees kindly posted for the rest of the day. And, as I have just discovered to my glee, if you print it out it is actually a poster that has been posted!

Down, Pooka, down! That's better, good boy. So has Millwall returned to this forum yet since stalking Dicky? I only ask 'cause there's been a lot of football on the telly recently for some reason and it's been distracting me from the Death List somewhat. Has anyone yet considered the possibility that Dicky has got Millwall hostage, locked up in his wardrobe? Maybe he's only letting him out for toast and to watch DVD's of Dick Turpin and Robin's Nest, whilst trussed up like a turkey with a gimp ball in his mouth. That's quite a nauseating image actually, isn't it? Sorry, I'll get back to the football...

I bet you're not. I've a feeling that there's more than a handful of DL'ers that have been on Crimewatch at some stage of there lives. That's if we're counting CCTV images and those sketched pictures the police artists knock up of course...

Has he done ten albums already then? This is news to me. I've got both Libertines albums and the Babyshambles one, plus an unofficial bootleg that I made (ssh, don't tell anyone) but I didn't know there were any others in existence. Come back, guest and enlighten me, so I can complete my collection before he departs this realm for the great big crack den in the sky.

Thanks, Pulp, I knew it rang a bell...it's heartening to know that I'm not losing my marbles.

I think the above is a little unkind...kinda liked it myself. Mind you, I'm sure Banshees won't lose too much sleep over the opinions of a critic who could only summon up enough imagination to sign him/herself in as '?', can't differentiate between 'to' and 'too' and overdoses on smilies.

Oo er, missus! That's against the law in this country!

I'd have a word with your informant if I were you, Wins. Just checked my copy of said red top and page one is full of a quote from a paedophile victim's dad and pages 4 or 5 are concerned with 'The Fury Of Becks' about a German paper calling his sister a pig. Couldn't see any mention of any extra marital activities in Fraserburgh. Although I am led to understand that the Scots have different editions of our newspapers that only cover news stories of interest to theirselves and worldwide events that they may be involved in. For example, no World Cup coverage, blokes banging prozzies and recipes for deep fat fried Believe bars. C'mon England!

I don't know about that. Going down to 10 men after the most innocuous of short pulls and going 3-0 down from the resulting penalty didn't help matters much, but I agree Schvenko looked about as effective as Ronaldo the other night. Let's all hope Chelsea have bought a journeyman purely after the money, eh? Like the addition to your avatar, Magere Hein. It makes your Reaper resemble a 'Tangoed' Frank Spencer.

Am I going mad, Phantom, or have you posted this anecdote in another thread somewhere else in the past? Or am I suffering from deja-vu? No offence, it's just that yourself, Lemmy and broken noses sound very familiar. I think I spend way too much time here, you know.

I have a friend who is almost blind her name is Gayle, and she is coming to stay with me for 3 months from Australia, and she adores Dame Vera, and would love to meet her. Maureen. Can anybody out there help her. Its her dying wish. contact No 07831684154 I would be so grateful. Mo Almost blind (ha! Won't notice my blemish)? Looks terrific? Intellectually sharp? Australian (ex-barmaid?)? Loves walking (although presumably cliff-top rambles might be out of the question)? Kind and caring? She sounds perfect. Thanks for the number, I'll give her a bell as soon as the World Cup's finished....

Ah, the standard North of the border cop out when it comes to a World Cup summer... [snip] Of course it is, seeing as we haven't really got a hope in hell. Have we? No. Quarter final, tops. After last Sunday's success for the Dutch U21 team I'm afraid the Dutch side in the World Cup won't get very far either. There's a serious possibility they won't get past the group stage, with such fine opponents as Argentina, Serbia & Montenegro and Ivory Coast. We can, of course, always hope. After all: Van Basten has yet to lose a match as Dutch manager. regards, Hein In another topic somewhere: Okay, answer is a resounding 'not very!' I was being rhetorical (shocking mis-spelling, bit I don't care!) We're going to win the World Cup, MG. But Robben might win you the diving cup! <I think you are exceedingly wise and possibly not so exceedingly old> That was a whisper, right? Cool; this is a roar: C'mon England!

After my initial doubting that it was all some sort of April Fools joke, I've been meaning to say for some time... Nice death pool, mate and I see that my name is written in a gold font because I share an award....ha, ha! I'm too pissed to know what it exactly means, but my name's in gold. 'Tis enough for me. Thanks, Weatherman, I shall raise a glass to your powers of prediction....

>snip< Which I will miss, because I stupidly agreed to go and watch Bon Jovi on Friday with Mrs BHB. Bugger. Would you like me to take your place? No thanks, she's promised me fellatio without gag reflex. I don't know what it means either, I've only just read about the syndrome over in the 'docter docter' thread, but it sounds good. I'm living on a prayer, but it looks as though I might be going out in a blaze of glory!

I think this man is a legend and personally wish that everyone would leave him alone and stop starting threads that 'diss' him. Otherwise I might start a thread. Hmm...like... Maryport, it's not full of nice views, it's full of drunken auld slappers! Where's Godot gone? Has he finally succumbed to his gravy addiction? Boudicca...no gag reflex, apparently...worth a whole thread methinks! Tempus Fugit's Bollocks...discuss... Iain...should he stay or should he go?...or should I hop into my time machine, take over Joe Strummer's body and write a song? Canadian Paul...why the F**k wasn't I mentioned in your loveathon in the Drunk, Bored thread...I thought we had something special? Is Six really Heather McCartney? TLC...just playing with alcoholism or is he actually Tony Adams? Magere Hein...just how wise and old is this gentleman? Yeah, I will, if I'm provoked! As for Windsor... If I might steal a line from Python: 'He's not the Antichrist, he's a very naughty boy.'

Ah, the standard North of the border cop out when it comes to a World Cup summer... But you're probably right about our dreams shattering after getting so far. A boy who's never even played Premiership footy and a granny prozzie botherer with one foot...it doesn't bode well. But hey, WTF, England are in Germany right now and the Scottish aren't, so that's almost as good as winning the Cup, isn't it? Isn't it? Of course it is, seeing as we haven't really got a hope in hell. Have we? I could go on all night. <have faith, says God> <okay God> I have voices in my head. I think I'm peaking way too early. They haven't even had the opening ceremony yet. Which I will miss, because I stupidly agreed to go and watch Bon Jovi on Friday with Mrs BHB. Bugger.

You? No, I can't imagine that, mate. Certainly haven't noticed any evidence of such in your posts... <crowd cheers!> <motty says, 'England 1 Scotland 0> <Lawro says, 'That can't be right, Scotland didn't qualify> <crowd cheers again> Sorry, couldn't resist...