Brinsworth House Baiter

Godot, I shall never again wander from beneath your shadow... Please, accept me again for having hoisted my head over the hedge to see what lies yonder in the fields adjacent... What'd'ya reckon, those non-backslapping dudes accept me at Hartlepool? I'm dying to break out....

Bloody Hell, Baby Spice has let herself go , thought Camilla Excellent!

It's nearly time and I've been invited to enter a list. I have done so. Before I read Godot's warning about April the First... oh my god, what a drunken fool I am... If it is all a hoax, I just hope Marjorie's there with me...

I'd just like to say that I think the mods are doing an excellent, thankless job. Because I'm a whore. Just call me 'toenails'.

Hmmmm the old "it just went off" bollocks! Why hand someone a loaded gun to "play" with, and if he was a "keen shooter" why not get the safety fixed! It would still need one hell of a knock to set it off, not just set down on the floor, and if the gun was on the floor how did he get shot in the chest?????? Her story has more holes in it than her husband's chest!!!! I am currently kicking myself as this is a local (to me) news story that I missed, but I have just unearthed a local paper from last week & read about it. The Daily Echo, in case you're wondering & I did a search on their archive link online but found nothing, which didn't really surprise me. I used to live in Shirley, which is the next Southampton suburb to Freemantle where Mr. & Mrs. West were playing their bizarre 'Shania sex games.' A couple of things puzzle me: 1. Mrs BHB, on occasion, has been persuaded/coerced/forced to dance for me. Often I have felt the need to fetch props, such as thorned red rose to whip herself with whilst accompanied by AC/DC's 'Whole Lotta Rosie', a flag during the White Stripe's 'Seven Nation Army' and on one memorable attempt at the ironic, a dead sparrow plucked from the garden during Skynyrd's 'Free Bird'. But never, even during Bob's 'I Shot The Sherrif', a gun. 2. Just what the F**k were they even doing with a shotgun about the place? This is England, not America. No offence to my fellow DListers across the pond, but I am led to believe from your Hollywood machine that you all sleep with rocket launchers under your pillows at least. There is little, if any, agricultural land in aforementioned part of Southampton, so I assume that Mr. & Mrs. West weren't farmers. So, again. what the F**k were they doing with a gun? I can only conclude that Mr. West was a gangster/ rum type of chap/ plotting an armed robbery or murder in which case it was a good job his recent wife had the foresight to stop him in his tracks. Or he was contemplating suicide, in which case his recent wife should be applauded for making sure he went out with a bang...

Cowboy Ronnie wrote: To be fair, the series was often on Saturday morning and holiday telly here in the UK when I was a child and I'm still a decent away from being 60. I wouldn't have known the guy by name, but I do vaguely remember his character in Zorro to which Iain referred. Phantom wrote: I'm glad I'm not the only one, Phantom, lol. EDIT: Don't you just love it when someone posts just seconds before you and renders your carefully worded, thought out post pointless?

I can help narrow it down...it's not the view from my back door, more's the pity.

I think you meant to post in the irony thread MBA! CP, please don't encourage him/her/it to post anymore than s/he/it already does! Not that I wish to take sides in any ongoing squabbles that may or may not be happening, but I would have thought we should be encouraging any posts whatsoever, given the flatlining of this forum these past few days. Each morning I log in, looking forward to reading fellow DLister's witty observations and find but a handful of offerings. This very morning I have noticed that two post whores in particular have offered nothing since yesterday morning and this has caused me to ponder as to why. As a relative newcomer perhaps I should not be commenting on the number of recent posts (and I daresay that many will argue that it is all about quality, not quantity), but surely I am not the only one who sniffs stagnation in the air? I am a renowned expert in the field of lethargy and have a sixth sense where it is concerned... No doubt things will pick up over Easter and in months to come people will look back at this post & think to themselves 'what the hell was he on about?' (indeed, perhaps this will happen within days, if not hours or minutes... only time will tell). I am also acutely aware that this post will unintentionally get up people's noses and will in turn lead to a number of posts rebuking me and proving me wrong with statistics etc. Here's hoping anyway. Oh well, just my observation...I shall go back to watching the young, blonde woman unpacking boxes and moving in across the road....people outside can't see in through net curtains, can they? Right?

Try Here Thanks, Devon, lifesaver. See you all tomorrow, I'm off to make cabbage with cheese sauce! Bet the kids are going to love me...

Yes, I do and that sounds like a good enough option for me, failing all else. Many thanks, Bald Rick. I must give her some money to go shopping tomorrow.

Does anyone know of a website where you can tap in the contents of your fridge, click and it comes up with a recipe? I ask this because I am expected to make a meal sometime over the next few hours and all I have to work with is a cabbage, a sprig of broccoli, an onion & some tomatoes as someone forget to get anything out of the freezer last night...me apparently, so my othewr half has proportioned the blame. So come on fellow DListers, help and save me from having to get the car out and dash to Tescos.

TLC Wrote: Ahem, quite, yes... But if we were alligators would it actually matter? I mean, how do you differentiate between a male & female alligator? Obviously I guess that they have different sex organs, but I've watched a fair bit of Steve Irwin & I've never seen a croc or a gator with meat & two veg flopping about...which is good if you think about it, because it would be right bitch crawling about with all that underneath you...or maybe that's why they prefer floating in water...might be nice lapping around your.... No, anyway, perhaps my alligator threesome wasn't very well thought out, but then again, how do we know that we'd all come back as male gators? Is it not perceivable that you or I might come back as female? (would that make us croc-dressers? Oh, suit yourselves). Then again, if Four Horsemen is male and he came back as a female as well, that would make us all alligator lesbians...which is a scenario I rather like, thinking about it...but then again, maybe not....not with all those teeth... Anyway, I'm coming back as a parrot, so I don't know why I'm even worrying about it. I'm off to post a classified in the personal column: Horny Parrot Seeking Two Equally Horny Parrot Bints For Steamy Menage a Trois In The Afterlife.... After all, Toucan have fun, but three is better. Oh dear.

Rather disappointingly I'm coming back as a parrot. I was hoping to become an alligator, but it doesn't look as though I'm going to fulfil my fantasy of a threesome in the next life either...

Dr. Hackenslash wrote: I see you agree with my earlier post, that is if I'm reading 'letting his birds fly' correctly as a euphemism for shitting himself?

Sorry about posting that twice....it told me that flood something or other had been enabled & I didn't think the first one had been posted. Apologies again. [duplicate post deleted - ff]

Pele's new pants did wonders for his erection problems. Whoops, wrong thread... My bad...

It's a very good book, talking of post apocalyptic societies, does anyone know any good websites concerned with contingency plans for nuclear disasters. I am trying to find out what actions a submarine captain would be expected to take if he found out that Britain had been destroyed in a nuclear holocaust whilst he was underwater. Once I have obtained this information I might do some work. Im no expert, but I should imagine stock taking the tinned foodstuff supplies would be pretty high on his agenda, followed by some quick calculations & shitting himself.

REPUBLICANS ROCK! DEMOCRATS WILL DESTROY THE USA Who would have thought George Dubya had learnt to use the internet.... Perhaps he's not such a mentally challenged pyschopath as we suspected. Mind you, could have been Dangerous Dick doing it for him, like all other decisions. Republicans: the people that gave you Watergate, Iran Contra, Iraq and the biggest deficit this side of the side Democrats: the people that gave you the odd sex scandal, the New Deal, Civil Rights Legislation and a surplus republicans = freed the slaves democrats = supported slavery and started the ku klux klan many prominent democrats include Robert Byrd, Strom Thurmond was originally a democrat, George Wallace, the democrats have a monopoly of racism, all the anti white racists belong to the democRAT party as well [Racist comment deleted. Take your racist attitude elsewhere guest - ff] What, apart from producing the world's greatest ever guitar (Hendrix) & football players (Pele) just off the top of my head, ooh, don't know. More informed DListers here will probably be able to tell you about Nobel Peace Prize winners, inventors etc. And how can you have the audacity to mention the bible in your vile, racist diatribe, when anyone with a modicum of intelligence realises that, due to reasons of geographival climate, Jesus himself would have been dark skinned? No, there's nothing wrong with being white & proud of it, as equally, there is nothing wrong with being black and proud of it. For the record I am white, but I don't feel very proud when fellow caucasians such as yourself start coming out with this ignorant, outdated & totally unecessary bollocks. We welcome guests here, who have something halfway intelligent & relevant to say, not racist idiots with acute penis envy who thought Mississippi Burning was a film about sport. As your beloved, misread bible might say, Go Forth & Multiply, which, in terms you might understand means F**k off. Oh, and any news on Jayne Wymark?

I remember her, unfortunately, simulating oral sex on a beefcake type on some late night freak show...possibly The Word....

Perhaps you should check in with Iain, seeing as he appears to be wonderfully well informed/ psychically alert and primed/ full of crap at the moment. He'll be able to put your mind at rest. Possibly.

But would Ian Huntley fit inside a pie, humble or otherwise? Very good! That took me the whole five minutes since you posted it to get it though....and now I've scratched my head so hard it's bleeding... but I got there in the end!

Let's just hope no-one smuggles him in a humble pie with a file in it....

Just finished John Wyndham's 'Day of the Triffids'... mindblowing. I read it with the harrowing thought that this could well happen one day echoing through my mind. Indeed, Wyndham himself called it 'logical fantasy.' Wish I'd read it years ago (used to love the BBC adaptation when I was a kid), as it it's the kind of novel that stays with you for life....and I'd much rather it had stayed with me for the greater part of it than the short decline, lol.

i am related to somone on the titanic she lived thru it but all her kids died That's what I call a careless mother. Or one that was unbelievably selfish when it came to life belts...

Yeah hi, Gelgoog (do you mind being called 'goog' for short?') Oh, and I'm not that hot on African politics, but I rather suspect that there might be a few white farm owners who are hoping that your first choice bears fruition. I've read and re-read the last sentence and I'm not happy with it...it doesn't feel very politically correct, but I'm confident that it'll be taken in the vein that it was intended. I'm going for a lie down...I'm actually giving a crap about being politically correct....