Leaderboard

Well at least his life insurance policy is sorted out. And he got a free fountain pen just for enquiring.

Nelson Mandela Unplugged:

Fat fucking cunts with fat fucking girlfriends in their top-down BMWs that think it's acceptable to undertake you in order for them to get A WHOLE CAR LENGTH in front of you to get in the queue going into Tesco's. I was only going in there for juice and lemonade, I'm sure he was in such a hurry so he didn't miss out on buying a FUCKING MONTH'S WORTH OF BURGERS for his FAT FUGLY BITCH, who was wearing shorts far too short for somebody of her considerable girth - and he also insisted on keeping his shades on indoors. Also, inconsiderate little CUNTS that modify the exhaust on their fucking hair dryer mopeds to fucking FOG HORN PROPORTIONS, and then start that moped up RIGHT OUTSIDE YOUR BEDROOM FUCKING WINDOW at half past midnight - whoever you are, you owe me a pint because I stopped you being MURDERED WITH A HAMMER by the half drunken fat man in my bed that you woke up. Now, if everyone will stop fucking me off, I am settling down on this lovely sunny day, with my lounge full of flies, to watch the Superbikes.

To have even dreamed it up shows how depraved they were, especially given the fact that it says all the Joint Chiefs of Staff signed off on it. :(

Well at least his life insurance policy is sorted out. And he got a free fountain pen just for enquiring. I'm never going to top this post, may as well retire from the forum now.

Or maybe on his birthday! That would be the Ingrid-Bergman-style: Born and died on the same day. Very nice. Maybe they could light the candles on the cake, put the cake in front of his face, and then pull the plug, so the wind from his death-gargle blows out the candles!

Fuck me, that makes Vinnie Jones' Gazza-bollock-squeeze look like a Knitting Circle meeting.

They never would have pulled it off. The American military has always had an overinflated idea of its smarts.

My youngest daughter is at her prom this evening - bedecked in a jolly expensive outfit and hair do - I have been worried (as per a previous post) that she might not have a great time due to splitting up with her chap last week. I texted her earlier to say 'are you having fun?' to which she replied......'there's chicken dippers, it's amazing'. Whenever my world is full of doom and gloom, there's always my daughter to remind me that there's always someone worse off than me