Leaderboard

I thought Americans didn't do irony. Dunno, no nation on the planet does more bombing in the interests of peace.

Customer: Morning, Waitress: Morning. Customer: What have you got? Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon, egg sausage and bacon Egg and spam Egg, bacon and spam Egg, bacon, sausage and spam Spam, bacon, sausage and spam Spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam Spam, sausage, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam tomato and spam Spam, spam, spam, egg and spam Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam. (Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam!) Or Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce served in a provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried egg on top and spam. Wife: Have you got anything without spam? Waitress: Well, the spam, eggs, sausage and spam That's not got much spam in it Wife: I don't want any spam! Customer: Why can't she have eggs, bacon, spam and sausage? Wife: That's got spam in it! Customer: Hasn't got much spam in it as spam, eggs, sausage and spam has it? (Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam!...) Wife: Could you do me eggs, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam, then? Waitress: Iiiiiiiiiiiich!! Wife: What do you mean 'Iiiiiiiiiich'? I don't like spam! (Choir: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!) Waitress (to choir): Shut up! (Choir: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!) Waitress: Shut Up! Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam. Wife: I don't like spam! Customer: Shush dear, don't have a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it, I'm having spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam, and spam! (Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!) Waitress: Shut Up!! Baked beans are off. Customer: Well, could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then? Waitress: You mean spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam and spam? Choir (intervening): Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!

WTF? Holy Shit! - literally.

Wow, apparently Phil chose to drop into a Little Chef in Doncaster a few days ago while he was on his way to some horsey event with the Queen. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/prince-philip-visits-little-chef-4034547 But he didn't order anything....... which is probably why he's still alive.