Dr Hackenslash

Ok, but when was this? I'm trying to work out when they were first used. Were they about in Wilfrid Brambell's day, when the handbag-carrying one was stopped by the police after being seen going into more than a dozen "cottages" in an hour?

http://portugalresident.com/portugalreside...ry.asp?ID=15148 The Resident Weekly Algarve Edition It’s a Dunn deal THE real stars of Scruffts are undoubtedly four-legged, but this year’s event, on October 1 also features a couple of well-known human faces. Jo Wheeler, Sky TV weather presenter, opens proceedings at 11am and soon afterwards Clive Dunn takes to the ring – appropriately in the veterans class – with his pet pooch. Be sure to get there early to make the most of this fun-pascked, star-studded day. Don’t forget that this year Scruffts Dog Show is at Fatacil in Lagoa. Turn to page 37 for more Scruffts information.

Not drunk, but want an answer to a question and I thought I'd get away with it here... Do glory-holes actually exist? I mean, I've travelled a lot (that's no euphemism) and never seen one - has anybody else or do they not exist? Cheers!

Rod Hull was known by some nasty people as "Emu's fag," so perhaps that is what is meant...

Oddly that's not always true these days. Being able to write doesn't get you a job as much as knowing people does - hence you need editors to make it look like the well-known face can get away with it. I would go into detail, but I don't particularly fancy a defamation suit. Slightly off journalism, but I did once see the first manuscript of a well-known author. If I was told the person who "wrote" it was going to become a world-famous millionaire, I would have collapsed with laughter. It made Jeffrey Archer's work look like Shakespeare...

Well, I was right about the humping (the Gretna one). 6-0 with a few minutes left. Going horribly wrong. *pop*

I should be a Hibernian tonight but I didn't fancy another Gretna humping. Oh, and on the subject of death - footballers are dropping recently. Jamie McQuilken (Gretna defender) had to be rushed to hospital at the weekend after suffering chest pains at the end of the Livingston match. Worrying.

The attempted suicide was reported to have occurred in May 2004, but there seems to have been a news blackout on that story, thus no link in the main and reliable news sources. I was able to find a link here. The rumour goes, which I couldn't possibly confirm or deny, that D-notices were issued to gag the press - they are meant to be used to stop items that would endanger national security being made public. If I remember rightly, to breach them would land the editor/publisher in court on a charge of treason, with the possible punishment of life in prison... Only what I've read on the internet, though, not from what I've heard in a professional capacity.

No, not at all. It's possible that we could share with Motherwell, but if Motherwell are the team we replace in the SPL (could be) then that wouldn't happen. The thought of sharing with Carlisle...means I'd have to get a passport! Oh - and noticed your post from a while back - yes, I was at Palmerston for the Doonhamer humping. Dumfries is still the dump it always was.

That would be a delightful job, but no. I am the other kind of hack!

ermmmm I'll bite. who is she? Tony Blair's daughter. She took an overdose when she was 16 in 2004, but it was kept hushed-up.

Would Kathryn Blair be famous enough to qualify? She's tried to top herself once, so why not?

On average, three out of 200 people...

Moderater n. One who can lick one's own backside with their tongue.

Good old snails, and I love the M3 too. What a road! Doesn't this remind you of the Great Richard O'Sullivan Civil War of a few months back? Fancy dusting down your flak jacket for one more crusade, BHB? As long as we defend like Sorensen against Watford, we'll be fine! Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori...

Indeed, Gretna are third and only one go up. Although, if and when the Black and Whites win the league, there is a fair chance they'll not be allowed in the SPL - no suitable ground (need 6,000-all-seater) and no planning permission to build one (yet)

*waves at Chris Morris's script-writer*

Perhaps he should leave his sleeping tablets lying around then

Okay, that makes sense. And I suppose he doesn't have a daughter who tried to top herself two years ago like some of his neighbours, so there's less stress there...

Such as?

Can any experts / statisticians among us let us know if one-eyed people have a shorter life expectancy than two-eyed people?

Indecent assault can mean anything from hands over the top to hands down the bottom...

Just to clarify the situation... The word allegedly does not make anything any better - it's a myth that it does. But, as far as reporting restrictions go, and if this was a newspaper.... We can name him, say what he is charged with, give his date of birth (ie age) and address but we have to be careful about specifics. So there you go. PS. Go on, Chris, top yourself!

Been doing a bit of research into the law and it appears that "making" images is the legal term for downloading - ie if you download you create a new file (not that sort of file). If he doesn't top himself, and he is found guilty, I can't see him coping very well inside.

Gordon Brown as a cross-dresser? Surely not. I have my suspicions about other members of the cabinet, but surely not One-Eye? I'd also love to find out more about the trip to the USA, years back, when Brown and Blair apparently shared a bed (no suggestion of anything untoward)...