Deathray

Just think of the time saved you would have had to spend on the candles as a consolation.

Love how the swimming competitions are being held between 10pm and midnight Brazil time

For many years now I have maintained a strict policy of never asking whether a seat etc is free. Because invariably the answer will be No, even though the alleged occupiers are nowhere in sight. Example. On a busy ferry crossing I fancied a quick G&T in the bar and a read of the paper. There were very few seats available, but I spied a group of four seats around a table, with one man sitting and various coats etc scattered on two of the other seats. Without saying anything, I sat down in the empty seat. It took him two seconds to lower his paper and snap "Somebody's sitting there!" "Yes", I replied. "I am sitting here. I am going to sit here until I have finished my drink. Then I shall go. I shall of course leave if your friends come back before that." He angrily rustled his paper in reply. Twenty minutes later, nobody having returned to the table, I drained my glass, picked up my paper and rose. "There, " I said. "That didn't hurt anyone, did it?" He jumped straight into my trap. "It would have been POLITE if you had ASKED, " he blustered. Sweetly I replied, "But if I had asked, you would have said No. And that's why I never ask any more." I would add that when the shoe is on the other foot, my response to such questions is along the lines of "My friend(s) will be coming back but you're welcome to sit here in the meantime." People like you are cunts. Most people are nicer than you give them credit for and assuming people are going to have a negative attitude makes you a cunt.

That wonderful time when you watch a sport you haven't seen for four years. Handball and fencing are class

Back to Obit

Not until the opening ceremony reaches grinding poverty, drug cartels and the demolition of the rainforest. There was a little bit of the what the duck about it all.

So it's finally here

Sky have decided McClaren should be Newcastle's commentary rep for tonight - you could't make it up

Still on track for a personal best. Still amazed Piet de Jong hasn't got a single UK obit.

nice idea Alice Cooper,... George Michael is on my shadow list/ list of reserves. if you and somone else want young blood take a look to this link: http://www.nme.com/news/john-newman/95427 Jeez, hope he recovers before he can be picked, but definitely a good shout if not.

Is he looking worth a go for next year?

Fucking hell. It's,s all gone Pete Tong with my obit chances for Piet de Jong

Depends they'd need to be evenly spread I'd go for New York and Washington Beijing and Moscow Istanbul and Dubai Sydney and Seoul Rio der Janero and Buenos Aero's Paris and Berlin Cape Town and baghdad

How could you possibly leave Jean Alexander off that list?

None yet. Hopefully the Guardian or Telegraph will come good.

He looked in reasonable nick for his age at the RNC, until he got a name check from one of the speakers and one of the guys behind him forced him to his feet! Sitting down at July 4th celebrations at home https ://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNLJurxZTAc Surely hasn't got long left now? Also when are youtube vids going to be fixed on here

So with it once again starting early for scheduling reasons. Should football be in the Olympics?

We've got to stick with the fort supporting them through thin and thinner. Although we could set up a sister thread for England's worst club http://m.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/35959714 New Mills AFC They failed to win a match in the Northern Premier League Division One North last season and their total of 3 points from 3 draws saw them relegated to the North West Counties League.

Burton Albion could be a good club to switch our allegiance too

Like any other red bloodied heterosexual male on this site, we all await a photo of said puppy. ;-D Is your wife on the rag or just a psycho?

I'll try and get an update done on this before the olympics start.

So the quadrennial druggies championship begins at 4.50pm tomorrow with the womens football, starting with Sweden v South Africa at 5pm UK time.

So you can actually construct a coherent post. I guess your world doesn't begin and end at 4.20 anymore?

I'm sure most of you know this being dead poolers but there is increasing evidence to linked frequently heading the old style footballs with memory loss, similar to the impact of punches in unguarded heads (even though the male boxers at the olympics will now not be wearing headguard - apparently women still need them). So goalies and defenders from the 50s, 60s and 70s should all be DL considerations.

Are you sure, he's got no baby boomers and literally cannot win the game. In that case whats to stop me waiting for an imminent disaster involving 60 celebrities of various ages and entering them all? I suppose realistically the later you enter the less likely you are to "win" not that any of us will ever win this ridiculous game.