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Everything posted by Deathray

  1. Deathray

    Hares Death Pool 2020

    Welcome to the 7th annual Hares Death Pool (Jesus, that many?). Sick of your Deathrace team living a few months too long, they (topped up with a few friends) might do okay here.... Hares Death Pool The Rules (Last updated 2 Jan 2019) 1) Your Team All teams must contain 25 people with some claim to fame (See FFBI section) you expect to die, and a nominated joker amonst the main 25. A maximum 5 subs are permitted for any picks who die before the starting line. (These substitutes will be promoted in order if required) All picks must be human beings aged over 18 on January 1st of the game year.. Death row prisoners only score if they die of other causes, those still on trial will still score points if sentenced to execution after 0000 on January 1st. Entries must be posted in the annual Hares Death Pool thread or PMed to the game runner. (From 2020 onwards teams posted in the Deathrace thread, delivered by status update or sent by carrier pigeon will be routinely ignored.) The competition automatically opens for entries at 0001 on the 1st December and closes at 2359 on December 31st. Substitutes will be automatically promoted if deaths become known about on January 1st or later from the previous years Note: in light of the automatic promotion of subs the host sees no reason to include the January 1st leeway for replacement. However in the unlikely case a player uses all 5 substitutes on picks who died before January 1st a special dispensation will be permitted allowing them add picks up until 2359 January 1st to get them back 25 names up until 2359 on January 1st . If someone has not provided 5 substitutes they will not be entitled to this dispensation as it's their own fault they're short..... Late entries are not permitted. Hosts have long come to the conclusion there is no reason for exceptions now the deadline is 2359 rather than 1600....... Entries submitted on the 31st December could suffer abuse from a stressed host via PM response. (It's something of a tradition, but kinder hosts are not compelled to continue it) For teams submitted up until midday on the 31st December every effort will be made to clarify who your picks are should their be confusion. Hare's has always been incredibly lenient on this front but we recommend you include good old bracket tradition - (i.e cancer nobody but she's a local celebrity who fundraised for dying cats before she got diagnosed, covered by the Buttfucknowhere Gazette....) or (geriatric actor). For teams submitted after midday on the 31st December you'll just get the first name that comes up on a cursory google search if you've not clarified who they are. The host may add cancer/brain tumour/ill to that search if they are feeling nice (see Rule 9 - unlikely).... 2) Obituary Rules Celebrities qualify if they achieve an obituary or article about their death in a local, national or even specialist newspaper/website*. The aforementioned article does not need to specifically relate to their death, instead just mention it and date it*. or website/magazine/paper. If in doubt cite your death note for approval. There is absolutely no requirement for obits to be in the English language, however translations should be provided if they are not. The obit may be published in any language but entrants should give the host a translation if it is not in English. Note: (It's become a tradition for foreign dead pool players to submit local hero teams of DDP useless picks to the Hares on account of this and long may that continue!) The * on specialist websites refers to the following: paid for obituary sites are not specialist websites and will be not used to clarify, the same applies to death notice sections of otherwise acceptable sources. The exception to this rule is if these sites have a celebrities death page - should the picks death notice/paid for obituary feature on their celebrity deaths page/feed the points will be awarded. Note: Wording of this rule has been slightly tightened in this update compared to the old rules but enforcement of it remains the same. Social media posts, personal blogs etc do not count. The cut off period for obituaries has always informally been 2359 on the 7th January the year after the competition ends. (death date must be recorded as 31st December at the latest) - just popping this in here to solidify that rule going forward... 3) Scoring Rules For the purposes of determining the date of death of a celebrity the information to hand will be used to determine the points allocated to the competitors who chose the person. In the event that an exact date is available For the avoidance of doubt journalistic nuisance phrases 'on Wednesday, or last night/yesterday' will count as dates of death, with the date being determined by the tedious process of working it out - ) , full points will be awarded. In the event that only the month of death is in the obituary, points will be awarded to the first date of the month (in September) that has been given ('the Leah Bracknell' rule) if a date is subsequently given in press before the closure of the competition window the remaining points will be added to the total. In the very unfortunate event that only the year of death is provided in the qualifying obituary the poor bastard who picked them will be awarded points to the first day of the year that is given (which the savvy among you will have worked out is 0 points). The overall points system is incredibly simple: 1 Point for each day of the year that passes before your celebs death (if they die on the 10th of January you are awarded 9 points for example) up until the games close at midnight on the 31st December. Pick 1 of your celebrities as a joker to double the points for that pick upon their death. (i.e if they die on the 9th January you'll get 16 points). Jokers are calculated before the 250 point bonus, meaning are 31st December joker will score 978 in a normal year and 980 in a leaper year. 250 point bonus if one of your "celebrities" dies on 31st December in that game year (i.e a 31st death will score 614 points in a normal year or 615 points in a leap year rather than the 364 or 365 points it would normally accrue) In the impressive event of all 25 of your team dying you will receive a 500 point bonus 4) The Don't Be A Cunt Rules Blatant plagiarism of another persons team, in the eye of the game runner, is punishable by expulsion and a 5 year ban on entering the competition. Keeping alive another persons pick against the picks will to benefit in this game is also against the rules. Murdering your chosen "celebrities" is both against the rules and illegal regardless of willing participation. (not to mention gives us a bad name) If assisted euthanasia becomes legal in the future, contestants in this dead pool are forbidden from encouraging/discouraging/or actively taking part in their or another contestants picks decision regarding this or being an active participant in their euthanasia. This rules apply to assisted euthanasia in other countries of picks. Similarly encouraging picks to commit suicide is prohibited. 5) The FFBI Rules Celebrities are disqualified if the game runner determines them to be famous for being ill. This rule has been significantly tightened in recent years. And now bans picks who are: Famous due to impending death (hit by a car, stabbed etc etc you get the idea) Famous due to illness, with not even a minor fame to claim of their own making resulting from that illness (mother with 6 months to live, man with rare genetic disorder) An awareness and activism exception exists (see the filter) If your unsure whether you're pick qualifies for the Hares Death Pool your in look; they're subject to a rigorous FFBI filter that you can use to check them before submitting them - so there's really new excuse. From midday on the 31st December the host has the right to outright reject a team that appears to contain so many FFBI picks it would fall short of a 25 strong field once they are removed or allow it to run short without seeking clarification. The Filter 2014 Champion - Rotten Ali 12 Teams - Final Scoreboard 2015 Champion - Toast 16 Teams - Final Scoreboard 2016 Champion - Gcreptile 17 Teams - Final Scoreboard 2017 Champion - Grim Up North 24 Teams - Final Scoreboard 2018 Champion - Death Impends 30 Teams - Final Scoreboard 2019 Champion - John Key 43 Teams - Latest Scoreboard All-Time Records Lowest Scoring Hit - maryportfuncity with 0 points for Dorothy Baldwin (2014) [1 was awarded in consolation] [1st January 2014] and by Wormfarmer with 0 points for David Stern in 2019 - no consolation point..... Highest Scoring Hit - Sir Creep - 666 points (George H.W Bush on 30 Nov 2018 with WC points). Time Without a Hit - 365 Days!! (mysteriousmummy 2019 Most Hits: - msc 16 in 2018 All Time Leaderboard - Points Tally (up to 2018 - 2019 will be added after it closes (7th Jan 2359.) Best of luck.
  2. It was going to happen one day.....
  3. For non-deaths related political/politicians discussion (which let's face it mainly involves one way ranting.
  4. Seen as @gcreptile already appears to be working on next years.... I've currently got 499...... obviously that has nothing to do with the number of picks for this years Hares Death Pool.....
  5. Inspired by that Peter Wyngarde "Rape" song discussed the other day; Then there's this Devo song: this Black Eyed Peas song which was re-released as let's get it started a few years later for radio And this dodgy classic that was being played in offices up and down the country when 70s pedos were discovered!
  6. At the minute admins seem to let trolls run amok round this place and it makes actually talking about death related stuff incredibly difficult. A number of high-profile members have already been scared away by the plague of Zyklon and the Don (geddit?). Can we seriously consider instituted house rules and a team of moderators to enforce them to avoid this situation continuing?
  7. Deathray

    Football Manager Sacking Bingo

    Pretty simple pool. Send in a team of 20 football managers (entries accepted via posts in this thread or PM) from the top 6 levels (7 divisions) of the English football pyramid. (Premier League, Championship, League One, League Two, the National League, the National League North and the National League South) and the top two levels of the Scottish football pyramid (Scottish Premiership and Scottish Championship). The first team with no managers left at their current clubs wins the game. Deadline for entries is the 15th January at 23:59.
  8. Deathray

    William Roache

    Despite having the Betty Driver Memorial Thread and the Yewtree thread @YoungWillz thought that I should start a thread for the only person who's managed to hold down a job he can't do for knocking on 60 years. Corrie bosses if you're reading this I'm also a shit actor and like Coronation Street, could do with a 60 year career fucking up my lines and giving two emotional expressions only to cover every situation. Just PM me. Claims to have shagged 1,000+ women. Probably why he struggled to remember details when he was intimately grilled about them in the name of Yewtree but got away with it. Best known for fucking up his lines in thousands of episodes of Coronation Street, yet being an egotistical maniac who thinks he'd have been the next Hollywood superstar if he had turned Corrie down. Views himself as the guardian of Ken Barlow and constantly argues with producers over whether Ken would do something. One of the last survivors of the original cast of Coronation Street and cult icon in the United Kingdom. Despite his obvious insanity, purely through longevity he's become important in the national psyche and penetrated far beyond the world of soap, how many fictional marital scraps have the outcome shown on the scoreboard at Old Trafford? Spiritually searching for something with his weird cults that he belongs to, aged massively in the past few years so might be about to cark it you never know. Wants to work until he's 100 unfortunately for those of us who actually watch Corrie, but working that long might induce a stress related heart attack to save us all from his one emotion and bad delivery.... I'm only starting this thread to avoid whoever does when he eventually carks it opening it with some post-humous glowing eulogisation of the ineffective, lucky old cunt in his thread's first post. Always remember he's a shit actor who isn't sacked because he's been their too long to sack.
  9. Deathray

    Liz Dawn Memorial Deadpool 2019

    Yes, I'm frankly as staggered as you that it's took me this long to come up with this! In the interest of only running another deadpool if it's one I'm likely to be aware of picks deaths anyway. The game will begin on the 1st February 2019 and end on the 31st January 2020 (this is to allow me to run both this and the Hares Death Pool adequately as the majority of the donkey work needs to be done prior to opening and just before shutting a deadpool. (And because frankly there's enough competitions that open in Jan). It's a somewhat simple affair rules wise, though. Submit 10 celebrities who have appeared in soap operas either as regular actors, guest actors or special guest appearances as themselves and preferably 3 substitutes [It would really help Deathray if you could submit the main team as as Wildcard first then alphabetically by first name and subs in the order you want to pick them. Cheers!] No late changes in this - sorry guys. No famous for being ills welcome, unless they've somehow managed to fulfil the above criteria^ then have at it. Basic Scoring 10 points for a celebrity who is still appearing in a soap when the competition opens. 8 points for a celebrity who left their [most recent] soap opera in the past 12 months for non-health reasons. 5 points for a celebrity who left their [most recent] soap opera in the past 12 months for health reasons. 5 points for a celebrity who left their [most recent] soap opera more than 12 months ago. Bonuses Wildcard Bonus: Basic x 2 for your wildcard pick. The Young and the Restless Bonus + 1 points for celebrities between the ages of 80-100 + 5 points for celebrities between the ages of 60-80 +8 points for celebrities between the ages of 40-60 +10 points for celebrities between the age of 18-40 Triangle Bonus: + 3 points for anyone who appeared in a soap that lasted less than 100 episodes. El Dorado Bonus: + 3 points for anyone who appeared in a soap opera not set in the country of broadcast (country of broadcast being it's primary country of broadcast). As the World Tunes In Bonus: +5 points for anyone who appeared in any soap opera broadcast in more than 10 countries during it's life-time. Survival Bonus: +10 points for any pick who appeared in a soap with more episodes than Doctor Who at the time of opening the competition. Bloody Foreigners Bonus: +6 points for celebrities who appeared in soaps never broadcast in an English speaking country. Bonuses aggregate together, so if a pick appeared in Triangle and Coronation Street they'd get the As the World Turns, Survival and Triangle bonuses. Edit 1: Apparently what TV and radio programmes are classed as soaps is a contentious issue. Here's a list of most of the programmes we accept and your likely to actually want to submit from (there's genuinely thousands of soap operas, I can't list them all so this only covers UK, USA and Irish TV and radio and Australian TV, other countries are permitted but a ruling will be made on a case by case basis). It's also possible your picked a show for one of the main four countries I missed out, so try your luck. Edit 2: Apparently this really is a contentious matter, for the purposes of this pool - we need to define a soap opera, and what spin offs can contribute to inclusion in this pool - so use the below: In response to a PM Query I have had from a potential entrant there's a new rule. Spin Offs - An individual episode spin off will be counted as a part of the main show. A multi-episode spin off series will be counted as a soap opera and therefore eligible. For clarification this means "Dot's Story" and "Perfectly Frank..." would be counted as episodes of EastEnders. Whilst "Kat and Alfie: Red Water" and "Damon and Debbie" (Brookside spin off) will be counted as separate soap operas. Who knew this would be so fucking complicated? Episodes must have been shown on television to qualify, you're obscure direct-to-videos such as "Coronation Street: Out of Africa" can fuck off. Obituary Requirements. A national newspaper / modern equivalent in the primary country of broadcast for the soap opera. (i.e if Barbara Windsor gets an obit in Der Spiegel but not The Guardian or any other UK outlet, tough shit, meanwhile if Der Spiegel obit a German soap star (I genuinely don't know any google brings up Sila Sahin) 1 - Individual home nations of the UK count as a country of broadcast. Everywhere else national obits only. And My Team has been PMed to @YoungWillz for safe-keeping. Daft Enough to Participate Are: Deathray YoungWillz Dead Wait Handrejka Bibliogryphon the_engineer Gooseberry Crumble The Old Crem FixedBusiness
  10. With not much else to do this morning I started to put together an age-sorted list of politicians and was wondering whether anybody else actually put together these sorts of lists regarding potential ddp candidates? Are they actually that effective?
  11. Deathray

    Sobriety thread

    Anybody else on here teetotal and drug free? Any fellow straight edge homes want to discuss the perils of avoiding virtual pubs and how much better life is without the demon booze or drugs...
  12. Deathray

    Disc Jockeys

    Fucking who?
  13. Deathray

    Coronavirus death toll 2020

    So you should you big fat cuntstick. As suggested to Joey earlier go take a bath in petrol on the M25.
  14. Deathray

    1. Prince Philip Duke Of Edinburgh

    Go fuck yourself. Have you still got Covid. Hope you have.
  15. Deathray

    1. Prince Philip Duke Of Edinburgh

    Because are country is sycophantically obsessed with the royal family. If there weren't laws against it I'd burn down Bucks palace with the whole lot in to be frank. Pariahs and cunts.
  16. Deathray

    The Dead of 2020

    Something wrong?
  17. Deathray

    Coronavirus death toll 2020

    Do you cry every time a kid dies of cancer too, cos your house must be flooded. Yes it's tragic like any other Covid death, but do is every non Covid death. Getting sick of the Covid death 'how sad me' shit on here.
  18. Deathray

    The Dead of 2020

    The same advise applies to you and every fucker on this forum to be honest. Wait are these not fucking pre-modded. Awesome. Your all bunch of fucking cunststains for putting me on pre-mod.
  19. Deathray

    Notable Coronavirus Victims

    Why was your friends mum famous again? Assuming that's why you posted this tidbit in here rather than Death in the Family of Status Updates...
  20. Deathray

    The Dead of 2020

    Have you considered going outside Joey, maybe take a noose, some petrol and a lighter with you and have a nice oily bath on an A Road. You'll be doing us all a favour. Cheers.
  21. Deathray

    The Dead of 2020

    You know Zorders got banned for telling another member to commit suicide and advocating muslimicide in a matter of a few of his deranged posts.... TheKing was undoubtedly a cunt but I don't think anyone has come close to Zorders for being an utter wankstain. I'd still unban him though. I miss my sparring partner....
  22. Deathray

    The Dead of 2020

    Shame, his actual posts didn't seem that bad..... Asking to be banned is such a pissflap move.
  23. Deathray

    Sobriety thread

    Have you given up masturbation and sex as well Toast?

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