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Deathray

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Everything posted by Deathray

  1. It was going to happen one day.....
  2. Lined up your teams of stiffs for the foreseeable future but still keep thinking of team names, post them here throughout the year so people can make use of them next time round, damn the three team limit. Caskets Understand No Titles (theme team: Lords, Sirs, Baronesses etc) Coffin Up No More (theme team: philanphropists) Death to All But Metal (theme team: metal bands) Dropredy Convention (theme team: fairport convention members) Guaranteed Cold at the Morgue (theme team: weather forecasts) Soon to be Broken Reeds (theme team: famous harmonica players) No Laughing Matter (theme team: astronomers) They Asked for It! (theme team: right to die campaigners) Some Mother's Don't Know 'em (theme team: orphans) Dad's Barmy (theme team: famous children of ptsd sufferers) DDP Numberwang (them team: anybody, no-one's going know the rules) Fallen Angels (them teams: child stars who went nuts) Masochistic Anarchists (theme team: 80s extremists who self-harmed) Some Battles Don't Come with a Paying Army (them team: former/seving trade union leaders with terminal illnesses) Knocking on Heavings Door (theme team: famous bishops) Final Recession (theme team: economists) Road to Kingdom Come (theme team: lindisfarne members, associates and managers) Checkmate (theme team: chess players) St Peter's Freight (theme team: famous truck drivers) Leaving Marx in History (theme team: communists) Madams for Ma'ams (theme team: high class male prostitutes) Sinking to a New Low (them team: former ship's captains) Three Wishes and Your Out (theme team: people who've played the genie in Aladdin) Played Your Cards Wrong (theme team: poker players) Scrubber Out (theme team: female porn stars) Slithereen to Extermination (theme team: doctor who cast) St Peter's Gaits (theme team: people with funny walks) Knackers Yard (theme team: famous cops) Well Red, Well Read & Well Dead (theme team: communist intellectuals) Maastricht Treaties (theme team: old tory eurosceptics)
  3. When was the last time you saw a cat leading a blind man down the road? Thought not. Fuck off. Dogs are more intelligent and caring animals than cats. And many of those dogs are not listed above.
  4. Deathray

    The 2019 Deathlist Cup

    To be fair, at least you've actually had hits. @theoldlady and @Boudicca seemed to have been held up in the tunnel by an act of God. Or at the wrong stadium...
  5. Deathray

    St. Patrick's Day

    Your a waste of space as mod and yes you do do fuck all. Just ban the cunt, you cunt. Her? Swear Bou's a las?
  6. Deathray

    St. Patrick's Day

    Why isn't @Sir Creep banned yet. Get on it Bou.
  7. Deathray

    The Hartlepool Deadlypool

    With the greatest respect to @Rotten Ali he hasn't logged in since the 16th January, the period of respecting his right to tally up the scores may well have been stretched at this point at 2 months, I know there was a few hankering to do this so over to you guys...
  8. Deathray

    The 2019 Deathlist Cup

    He just needs to Pray.
  9. Started watching some really weird stuff like Barbie Girl to fuck up his suggestions.
  10. Deathray

    The EU Referendum Hokey Cokey

    Wait, we're not accepting the only deal on the table. But we're not leaving without a deal either? So what the fuck are we doing? Back to the electorate?
  11. For non-deaths related political/politicians discussion (which let's face it mainly involves one way ranting.
  12. Deathray

    Hares Death Pool 2019

    By popular demand we move to a new yearly thread system. Supposedly it flows more easily for many people to have boxed off yearly threads, and at 47 pages the old one was getting a tad long. Welcome to the 6th annual Hares Death Pool. Sick of your Deathrace team living a few months too long, they (topped up with a few friends) might do okay here.... The Rules (Last updated 6 March 2016) All teams must contain 25 picks. A maximum 5 subs are allowed. All picks must be humans aged over 18 on January 1st of the game year.. Death row prisoners only score if they die of other causes, those still on trial will still score points if sentenced to execution after 0000 on January 1st. Celebrities qualify if they achieve an obituary or article about their death in a local, national or even specialist newspaper - the article does not need to specifically relate to their death, instead just mention it and date it. or website/magazine/paper. If in doubt cite your death note for approval. There is absolutely no requirement for obits to be in the English language, however translations should be provided if they are not. Entries must be posted between 0001 on the 1st December and 2359 on December 31st, if a pick dies before 2359 but it's not known until January 1st they may be replaced until 2359 GMT on January 1st provided the replacement hasn't died between 0000 and their addition to the team on January 1st (with the sub system your sub will be promoted). The Game runner is permitted to enter a team on the express understanding that team is visible prior to the entries opening. Changes are permitted to teams up until the deadline. However these must be made clear to the game runner via new PM or post, not an edit to your original submission long after I've copied them over to the database - it just won't be seen. For the 2018 competition late entries are not permitted. This varies year by year on the benevolence of the game-runners benevolence. Murdering your chosen "celebrities" is both against the rules and illegal regardless of willing participation. Keeping alive another persons pick against the picks will to benefit in this game is also against the rules. If assisted euthanasia becomes legal in the future, contestants in this dead pool are forbidden from encouraging/discouraging/or actively taking part in their or another contestants picks decision regarding this or being an active participant in their euthanasia. This rules apply to assisted euthanasia in other countries of picks. Celebrities are disqualified if they are a celebrity because of their impending death. For clarification Tom Attwater - fundraiser dying of cancer was an eligible pick for his fundraising. This man who became critically ill after being hit by a trolley in M&S would not be an eligible pick if his identity were known for a game held in 2013, if the man were to recover, his extremely dubious claim to fame as the man hit by a trolley in M&S would be sufficient to see him eligible as a pick if he garnered the required obit. [[Some picks have really tested the limits of this rule and the game-runners patience this year).] All entries must be posted in this thread or PMed to me, they'll then be posted in this thread as one post for each game year. The onus is always on the player to check that the person in question is alive at the start of the competition and replace them within the 24 hour leeway allotted, if this is not something you are willing to do please provide up to 5 substitutes. Even if you're convinced all you're players are breathing you may wish to provide substitutes just to be safe (a player who shall remain nameless provided a pick who died in 2005 in their team, we are all capable of making mistakes - better safe than sorry) Blatant plagiarism of another persons team, in the eye of the game runner, is punishable by expulsion and a 5 year ban on entering the competition. Entries submitted on the 31st December may suffer abuse from a stressed host via PM response. Scoring System (Last Updated 6 March 2016) 1 Point for each day of the year that passes before your celebs death (if they die on the 10th of January you are awarded 9 points for example) up until the games close at midnight on the 31st December. 250 point bonus if one of your "celebrities" dies on 31st December in that game year (i.e a 31st death will score 614 points in a normal year or 615 points in a leap year rather than the 364 or 365 points it would normally accrue) Pick 1 of your celebrities as a wild card to double the points for that pick upon their death. (i.e if they die on the 9th January you'll get 16 points). Wildcards are calculated before the 250 point bonus, meaning are 31st December wildcard will score 976 points not 1228. 500 point bonus if your entire list perish of this mortal coil in the game year. So let the games begin who do you think will very nearly make it to next year but alas lose out? 2014 Champion - Rotten Ali 12 Teams - Final Scoreboard 2015 Champion - Toast 16 Teams - Final Scoreboard 2016 Champion - Gcreptile 17 Teams - Final Scoreboard 2017 Champion - Grim Up North 24 Teams - Final Scoreboard 2018 Champion - ?????? 30 Teams - Latest Scoreboard 2019 Champion - ??????? 43 Teams - Latest Scoreboard (TBA) All-Time Records Lowest Scoring Hit - maryportfuncity with 0 points for Dorothy Baldwin (2014) [1 was awarded in consolation] [1st January 2014] Highest Scoring Hit - Sir Creep - 666 points (George H.W Bush on 30 Nov 2018 with WC points). Time Without a Hit - YoungWillz - 274 daysin 2018 Most Hits: - msc 16 in 2018 All Time Leaderboard - Points Tally (up to 2017 - 2018 will be added after it closes.) Best of luck.
  13. Deathray

    The 2019 Deathlist Cup

    Who?
  14. Deathray

    Hares Death Pool 2019

    You really are an objectionable cunt you know that? I was already working on the update before you fucking stuck your big fat arsehole oar in without even the modicum of human decency of a "do you mind if I do? Or are things okay, you haven't updated the Hare's in a while?" PM. As I said in my rants above, I've no objection to other people updating deadpool's in a while, but altering the scoring rules and claiming that I have things under control purely because I've been embarrassed for negligence, when I was already working on the update before you shoved your great big fucking oar in, is the height of self-aggrandising ego maniacal lunacy. You really are a sad case. You know that. Or the cynic in me reckons that maybe you realised that actually updating this pool is quite a bit of work in your attempt to try and look like some kind of saviour of the dead pool; that has utterly back-fired.
  15. Deathray

    Hares Death Pool 2019

    Oh and for whoever wants to update the game (set to anyone can edit, so please don't be childish dicks): https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1BZYOJjTrddZ-RPOSSTdL8jOcqpCkhdsVo_sS7RZ6Wls/edit?usp=sharing
  16. Deathray

    Hares Death Pool 2019

    I wasn't making excuses and that in particular is the least of my problems at the minute - I think you missed the point where I said I was already working; why would i leave my job to fuck off to buttfucknowhere? Yes if I could care about the dead pool I could probably have done and update by now. I'm not denying that, but pissing people off on this site really is the least of my worries at the minute, and i do think some people on here (not you) do forget that this site is a hobby and get far too involved in it, and far too annoyed when things aren't going how they want them to with it. We're all real people, none of us are spending are entire lives on the forum, there's other things to consider - that was my point. But that's the bottom line, I can't care about anything least of all this fucking site, and it's shite deadpools and moaning cunts. So if @Sir Creep wants to take over the mantle and run this properly, then fair play to him. I'm taking an extended break from the forum because I'm beyond sick of the argumentative nature and pettiness of some posters (charon, Mad Hatter etc) and the pettiness and rudeness of others (Sir Creep). I only ever seem to come on here to argue with people now, which really isn't a sign that this shithole is providing any enjoyment or I'm coming here for any reason other than habit so so long motherfuckers.
  17. Deathray

    Hares Death Pool 2019

    It's takes a couple of minutes to right a few paragraphs. It takes an entire fucking day to do an accurate update of the pool. So yeah maybe I have the will to spend a few minutes churning out shite. I've spent the last few days updating the masterlist as and when I can (bearing in mind I've also been working and looking for work; I'm not at uni), I think that's the bit you and Sir Creep aren't getting because he didn't have the common courtesy to PM me and ask if it was okay for him to update the thread I've wasted hours of my own time attempting to compile the masterlist. And maybe i don't have the burning inclination to do it. I don't have the burning inclination to do anything at the minute. But the point stands I was compiling the masterlist at the point that SC posted that update - so at the very least out of respect for my time he could have PMed me and asked for permission. And yes I do understand where you come from with the "time to argue, time to update" argument but so fucking what? Perhaps I derive more pleasure from calling out people's utter cuntery at the minute and the fact many people on this forum appear to have nothing else going on in their life, nothing else to worry about and no real thought of kindness towards other people in their lives or respect for eachother than I do from deadpooling anymore, which is increasingly looking like the last bastion of sad cases and wankers and increasingly to me seemingly like quite a pathetic hobby. Can you really derive enjoyment from picking someone like Jordan Dawes for your fucking deadpool team? Knowing the shit that her family are going through; does it really give you satisfaction to see that she's worth 59 points in a pool that is entirely formulated on luck. At least some pools require some form of skill, this is just luck of the draw as to when people die that counts. And to be frank it's not even remotely exciting for anybody until December anyway, so I don't see the issue with a lack of update in February. It's like moaning if the marathon doesn't put up time splits in the first mile, but even then the time splits would be far more use than this. And as an aside (thanks to msc for pointing this out) nobody has totted up the 2018 Hartleypool scores - among dozens of people who could do it - because RA has said he wants to do it. If there's a host for a pool who wants to run the pool - they should be given the opportunity to do so - and if someone else wants to take it over it's only bloody fair they consult the person to do it. And yes by all means feel free to post utter pish, you can post paragraphs but you can't update the post again, because frankly I'm getting beyond giving a fuck.
  18. Deathray

    Hares Death Pool 2019

    There's a huge difference in time commitment between posting shite on threads here and there and running a deadpool. If you actually look at my posting over the past month or so you'll notice until the past few days (when I've been on the forum more because i've been trying to do the Hares update; so had it open anyway) it was far less frequent than my normal almost daily posting habits for good reasons. For someone to then come and declare the pool I've been spending the last few days attempt to bring up to speed dead, post an update without consulting me and not even recognise the rudeness of doing so is pretty damn insulting to be frank. I think it's ridiculous to think that someone having a few spare minutes here and there to post one-liners equals the same as them having an entire day or two spare to google names of team members and collate death dates. Should people who run deadpools really have to stop posting on the forum entirely just because they don't have enough time to update the deadpool? That seems a bit of an unfair expectation to make? People on this forum really do seem to forgot that the people who run these pools do so with their own free time, for no reward and for no reason other than wanting to provide enjoyment to other people at times.
  19. Deathray

    Hares Death Pool 2019

    @Sir Creep I was actually compiling the scoreboard at present over the last few days. This pool has not been abandoned, I've been going through a hell of a lot personally the last few months - and allocating time to running this deadpool has not been a major priority - some on here are privvy to the details. I do appreciate the effort you've put into compiling the scoreboard SC but it's normally common courtesy to at least ask permission from a dead pool host so they are aware you want to help them out - usually via PM. It's been done before when I've been unable to update the pool; and I've no issue with that. We've had this system on Deathlist for years across multiple pools. If I was not an active member of the forum you may be justified in doing what you've done, but I posted as recently as yesterday a courtesy PM would have been at the very least expected. It's frankly quite insulting to declare a deadpool abandoned and take it over in this manner without even the common decency to discuss that with the deadpool host or maybe even enquire as to why there has been no updates. It's the attitude that I've come to despise in many on this forum; and that has driven many members away from here over the years that is a desire for people to always be on tap to put these deadpools first above all else, and getting irritated when things aren't done immediately with them. This deadpool has never had regular updates, a month and a half is generally not a long period of time for their to be no update in this pool and I think you are being a bit of a jerk - actually a total cunt - in declaring it abandoned so quickly and attempting to take it over without even consulting me. I really don't have an issue with the fact you wanted to help out and thank you for doing the update (I will check it against my ongoing one for discrepancies and post a full update in due course) but there really is ways and means of doing this.
  20. Who should the forum bestow the title of admin upon next? Lined up the cream of the crop to pick from everybody.
  21. Deathray

    Fort William Football Club

    Reason, it's not that cold?
  22. Deathray

    Fort William Football Club

    Back to form.
  23. Deathray

    The Weather

    There is not going to be 6.5 billion deaths in the next 15 years. At current death rates 829 million or so people will die in the next 15 years. There's no way that number is going to be 7/8x larger
  24. Deathray

    The Weather

    Cut none down. If you can plant more.
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